A Reader Responds: Child Abuse

In response to a recent post called Ten Lessons Learned from Troubled Marriages (Feb.8, 2010), I stated that children are generally better off in marriages of conflict than in situations of divorce.  A kind note from a reader pointed out that in situations of abuse, children are better off isolated from the abuser. I should clarify that I do not believe parents should ever place (or keep) their children in a position to be victimized by an abusive parent. Child abuse is a sin of the devil and every child should be protected from its horrors.

I still do believe, however, that children are generally better off in marriages where conflict exists than in situations of divorce.  The word generally is a key word, though, and by conflict I did not intend to imply or include situations of child abuse.

If you doubt the validity of the statement I made, I would recommend your reading the book Between Two Worlds, by Elizabeth Marquardt (Crown Books, September 2005). It is a well documented and disturbing study of adult children of divorce.
My thanks to the reader who suggested clarification.