Several times in the past few months, I’ve been asked to state my thinking on the popular (and really pretty recently contrived) idea that if my spouse has used pornography, then I am biblically free to divorce and remarry since Jesus said in Matthew 5:18 that a man who looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery already in his heart. So if my husband has been involved in the sin of lust, he is thus an adulterer, and I may, with God’s approval or sanction, divorce him and marry another.
I was answering this question yesterday with what I consider to be three valid objections to the idea that pornography use frees people from marriage vows and, as usual, I was struggling through the meticulous process of writing succinct sentences in a logical form. I came upon this article by my brother, Wayne Jackson. He does not struggle with succinct sentences or logic. I want to recommend this for your reading today: https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/1371-is-lust-the-equivalent-of-fornication
When you are finished reading, gather your children or grandchildren close around you and, once again, put into their hearts the importance of finding faithful Christians–people whose hearts are ever tender toward the Word–for their husbands or wives. So many problems that Glenn and I encounter as we speak with couples could have been avoided if His people had been more serious about spiritual things and more selective in the dating and marriage process. It is specifically important that our girls make sure they are not making marriage vows to men who are involved in pornography. (I know that sometimes the problem begins after marriage, but very often it is a hidden problem through the teen years. I also know that sometimes it is the wife who is the pornography user; but still, the problem is far more common among men.) It’s enslaving and tormenting. It regularly wrecks homes. It is adultery of the heart. But it is not the act of fornication of Matthew 19:9.