Mother and Daughter and Marriage
Jezebel called the shots. The course of the Ahab name and family was clearly charted by Mrs. Ahab. She determined the religion (I Kings 16:31). She decided about the business ethics (I Kings 21). She held sway over her husbands emotions and decisions (I Kings 21:25,26). Mr. Ahab allowed Mrs. Ahab to convince him to reject the true prophets of Jehovah. In the end, it was in a rebellious decision to fly in the face of God’s prophet Micaiah, that Ahab was defeated in battle. At the end of the day the harlots washed his bloody chariot and the dogs licked up the pool of blood that remained in the chariot of the dead king (I Kings 22:7-36). Athaliah had a role model for marriage. Jezebel was highly effective in transferring the marriage model.
Second Kings eight verse eighteen summarizes the relationship between Athaliah and her husband:
And he walked in the way of the kings of Israel, as did the house of Ahab: for the daughter of Ahab was his wife: and he did evil in the sight of the LORD.
No woman in scripture was more controlling than Athaliah. One could hardly assume she even cared for her husband at all, since she used his power to promote her own purposes and then once he was dead, she had his royal seed exterminated in a great massacre. To say she had “control issues” is an extreme understatement. But remember, she learned from the queen of control, Jezebel.
Our daughters are learning about marriage from the model we present. They are either learning to search for godly husbands to whom they will joyfully submit (Eph. 5:22-24), or they are learning to manipulate and control within this relationship. We are preparing them for the ultimate fulfillment God intended in the home or we are forging chains of rebellion that will cause pain and suffering in their lives. Does your daughter hear you speak with respect to your husband? Does she understand that Daddy’s wishes are respected and that his rules are in effect even when he is away from home? Does she know that you have no secrets from him and that you are both on the same team when it comes to parenting and discipline issues? Does your daughter see that you are happy in the marriage relationship and do you tell her that your happiness results from doing marriage God’s way?
Our children will never know the happiness of the home as God designed it unless we make a diligent and concerted effort to both display and teach what good marriage is. The societal standards in every aspect of marriage–respect, trust, fidelity, and commitment–have plunged to such depths in America today that they cannot but negatively affect our daughters as they interact daily with people of the world’s mentality. Our job in counteracting this negative message must be taken seriously. Family devotionals must often emphasize the necessity of searching for a mate who loves Christ above all else. I want(ed) my children to find mates who have had godly marriage patterned for them in a loving home. I pray for these future and current mates regularly. I made sure my children heard me pray for their father and for our marriage and home. We must recognize the oddity that a godly view of marriage is in our society and convey the necessity of societal nonconformity to our children from the time that they come to understand the basic structure of family as God designed it. Don’t underestimate the power of the example you set in the home as a wife and mother. Your grandchildren are depending on you!
