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Words

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Family Ties in the Social Distance #23: Proverbs 11:19–Talking too Much

 

My husband, Glenn, is sharing these daily lessons  for our West Huntsville family as we are necessarily (because of the virus) spending less time physically together in worship, study and fellowship. We may be “socially distanced,” but  we’re a close-knit family and we want to keep it that way! One way to stay on track together, spiritually, is to think about a common passage and make applications for our lives together even when we are unable to assemble as frequently. I’m sharing these daily family lessons here for those in other places, whose families (or even congregations) might benefit from a common study in these uncommon days of semi-quarantine. There are Family Bible Time guides included, as well. You can adapt, shorten or lengthen them according to the ages of kids (and adults) in your family. Blessings.

From Glenn:

 

My Favorite Proverbs:  The Danger of Talking too Much (Proverbs 11:19)

 “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.”

The devil must delight in the guilt a Christian feels when he or she suffers the consequences of words that should never have been spoken. This proverb simply says that if we want to sin more, we should talk more.  “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking” is a pretty good commentary on the history of humans. Read James 3:1-12. Verse five says, “Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!”  A book of cardboard matches can destroy a forest, and words can destroy relationships, break hearts, and destroy churches. One of the strongest verses in the New Testament is a warning about our tongues: “If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless (Ja. 1:26). This is serious and applicable to every one of us.

I suppose as we reflect on our lives there are few of us who have no regrets over things we’ve said. Oh, what we’d do for the privilege of taking them back—words spoken in anger or haste or ill will.  I’m so thankful for a merciful Father who “remembers our frame,” and that we are “dust” (Psa. 103:14).  Most of us need forgiveness for wrong words we’ve spoken.

For today, consider times we should be quiet and “restrain our lips.”

1. When our words to members of the opposite sex will somehow compromise our marriages.

2.  When we contemplate God.  “Be still and know that I am God” (Psa. 46:10).

3.  When we are frustrated with our spouses’ petty weaknesses. 

4.  When we know of bit of unseemly information about someone and are tempted to repeat it.

5.  When we feel pressure to tell a lie.

6.  When someone else is talking.

7.  When, for whatever reason, our emotions are not balanced and the chance of saying the wrong thing—which one is apt to regret later— is greatly increased.

8.  When it is time to listen. “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (Ja. 1:19).

Family Bible Time with Glenn and Cindy

Tonight’s short passage is 2 Samuel 11:12,13.

  1. After reviewing what happened in last night’s passage, explain to your children the next thing David did to try to get Uriah to go home to his own bed with Bathsheba. He got him drunk. Let’s notice a couple of lessons we learn from this idea that David had.
  2. First, it was a very bad idea. God is always displeased when men try to get other people to drink alcoholic beverages. Make sure that you emphasize that God is displeased when we put into our bodies anything that will cause us to be unable to think clearly and make good decisions. He does not want us to encourage anyone else to drink and he certainly does not want us to trick someone into becoming drunk. This is probably what David did here. He wanted Uriah to go home and he probably would have had him carried to his bed where Bathsheba was if he could have gotten him drunk enough. Turn to Habakkuk 2:15 and read what it says about a man who offers another man beverage alcohol. Do you think David was putting shame on his own glory? (He was a glorious king, but right now he was doing something shameful.)
  3. Next, it is important to show your kids the reason that David wanted Uriah to drink. It is because, when people drink beer or wine or whisky, etc… (my grandchildren call it booze), they do things that they otherwise would not do. They do wrong and loose things that they would otherwise be embarrassed to do. You might tell your children that sometimes people who are drunk take off their clothes in public or say things that they would be embarrassed to say if they were not drinking. Uriah had already shown David that he would not go down to His house when his men were at war. But David thought maybe he could get him to do it if he was drunk. David knew what we all should recognize. Drinking is wrong and dangerous because it makes us forget the way we want to behave and it makes us do things we would never otherwise do. Get each of your young children to promise you, at this point, that they will never in their lifetimes drink “booze” or beer or whisky. Ask your older children if they can remember any other time in scripture when someone did something very bad because he was drunk. Maybe they may remember Noah (Genesis 9) or Lot (Genesis 19) or King Ahasuerus (Esther 1).
  4. But David’s plan failed. “Do you think David is starting to worry that Uriah and everybody else will find out that he stole Uriah’s wife and took her to his own room and pretended that she was his wife? I think that David is probably having a hard time sleeping at night. I think he is worrying now that Uriah is going to know that he has not acted like a good man should act. What do you think David should do? David should repent”… (Remind them that repent means to change your mind and go a different direction)… “and tell God that he is sorry. Then he should tell Uriah what he has done and that he is sorry. Then he should tell Bathsheba that he is sorry that he brought her to his palace that night. Then he should tell his messengers who went to get her that He is sorry he asked them to do that. But instead, as we will find out tomorrow night, David just kept on getting deeper and deeper into sin.”
  5. Next, tell your children that the devil tries very hard to make us believe that drinking beer is a lot of fun. He puts smiling people drinking beer on billboards on the highway. In magazines, the beer parties look like everyone is laughing and having a great time. Make sure you emphasize that this picture is what the devil would like us to see. But the real picture is daddies who end up not being able to give their children the things they need because they have  spent all their money on beer. The real picture is people making very bad choices and hurting other people because they got drunk. The real picture is homes breaking up and the real picture is people getting killed in car accidents because people were driving drunk. Read Proverbs 20:1 to your children and talk about what it means. Google “beer commercials” and find one to show your children in which the devil is making drinking look fun. (You can probably find one about football or a pizza party or a celebration…whatever you think  would catch your children’s interest.)  See if your children can tell you some of the ways the devil is deceiving in the commercial that you chose. Encourage them to remember all of their lives that the devil lies when he tries to get people to drink.

Quote the KidSing rule: Do the right thing.

Pray with your children.

 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

What I’m Reading…

…and I’m so excited about this book! I’m three chapters in and I already know it’s going to make me better and  stronger for the battle I constantly fight, and often lose, with the devil, over how I use my tongue.  Oh, so many times in my life, my dragon has come unleashed. One of my biggest regrets, in fact, is a day a couple of years ago when I was coming off a few sleepless nights, a family funeral, and a medicine that was affecting me in some negative ways, when my dragon came unleashed and breathed its fire at Celine Sparks, this book’s author. So many times, when things like this happen, you can ask forgiveness till the cows come home (or the dragon takes a nap), you can be assured it’s been given, but you will still be filled with regret. If only we could be prepared BEFORE the dragon awakes…BEFORE those days when we have so many excuses (That’s right…excuses) to set on fire the course of nature, as James said it.

That’s why I’m loving this book. It’s full of tools to help me be the dragon tamer I want to be. It’s Biblical in a way that forces me to confront the dragon–to realize His mighty destructive nature–and to do practical things to recognize, at the right moments, how to keep him from ruining relationships, especially the relationship most precious: the one I have with my Father.

I can’t wait to finish. If I can do this one thing, I’ll will have arrived. I mean, if I can control my tongue, I can manage the rest of me. That’s what James said in 3:2. If I can just get the bridle in that dragon’s mouth…

If  you’re working on that bridle and leash, you could use this tool. There are many places to buy the book, but I’d order it directly from Celine by emailing her at sparksremarks@hotmail.com.

 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Sister to Sister: Ironic Living

Funny thing happened to me on the way to the auditorium in one of my recent speaking engagements. On this particular day, there was a donut breakfast prior to the seminar. It was a pleasant fellowship brunch held in the lobby of the auditorium of this church building. Upon speaking to one of the elderly women, she rather scowled at me and said, “Whoever heard of having donuts and coffee in the lobby?… I just don’t approve of this at all!”

Well, she said it with a coffee cup in her hand, so I smiled and responded, “Well, perhaps you should put down your cup, then, if it bothers you.”

She said, “Well, it does bother me!”

I said, “Well, do you think it’s okay down the hall in the fellowship room, then, but it’s not okay in this room?”

“Just a minute,” she responded, “and I’ll tell you what I think.” She proceeded to scoot around the table to the coffee dispenser to refill her cup.

While her inconsistency was a little more blatant than most, it occurred to me that, in most of us, there may often be an unrecognized clash between what we say and what we do. Here’s a sampling. You may have heard similar statements.

“Mom, Jamie doesn’t bow her head when we are praying.”

“I just hate Sophie. She’s always bad-mouthing people.”

“Honey, I wish for once you would stop being so selfish and think about what I need from this relationship.”

“I know I need to get serious about this, but I just don’t have TIME to think much about ETERNITY.”

Facebook status: “It makes me sick how people on facebook are always so negative.”

“I always sit all by myself. Why doesn’t somebody come sit with me?”

…or my personal favorite… “I can write good. That’s always been my favorite subject. Can you tell me how I maybe could write a book?”

These are funny examples of ironic self incrimination. But, in a more serious vein, perhaps we should all taste our words to be sure we are not spewing forth like the fountain in James 2:

Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?
Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh (James 2:12, 13).

And one final word from the One Who has the final word:

“…So practice and observe whatever they tell you—but not what they do. For they preach, but do not practice.
They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger (Matthew 23:3,4).”