Today is Super Thursday at the West Fayetteville church just across the state line in Tennessee. I’m excited to get to talk about parenting at this event. It’s kind of hard to narrow down the material when asked to speak for 45 minutes about raising godly children. I could talk about filling them with the Bible through Family Bible Time for the entire time. I could expound on the value of listening and communicating with our children. The dangers of social media could fill the entire slot, as well.
Today, I’m going to talk about “gentle parenting” and the disparity between actually being a gentle, loving parent and what the world means today when the term “gentle parenting” is used. I’ve been communicating with a friend (or two) who plans to hop into the day for a brief time for this session. I’m glad for this chance and thankful to the God of more, for opportunities that might bless my favorite people in the world: children.
Today, I got up at 6:15, ready to take my walk and pray and talk through this lesson as I made my way through the neighborhood, before anyone else in the house woke up. One of the grands, who’s eight, had spent the night at our house last night. She awakened and wanted to walk with me. Of course, my plan changed, from studying, to visiting, on the walk. I told her to hurry and put her pants on. Moments later I reminded her that she needed to get her pants on. Then, I said “Grab your shoes and put them on.”
“I think I left them in Mom’s car last night.” So I went to the closet and found some shoes I’d bought, second-hand, for her. “Here. Put these on, “ I told her as I handed them to her. Moments later, I came back and she was playing with some trinkets as she sat on her bed, her shoes still sitting there on her bed.
“I’m sorry, sweet girl, but you cannot go on a walk this morning,” I said. You are not obeying me. I love you and I want you to get to go, but you must learn to obey.”
Lightning fast, she had those sandals on and said “I’m ready. I’m ready, Mammy. See? I’m ready right now.”
At this point, I had a clear choice. I’m not her parent, of course, but I do try to help her parent, when given the chance. I also knew that, last night, this eight-year-old could have no treats between meals and she could have only water to drink, because she had failed to obey her mother and get dressed for church when told to do so.
As her grandmother, I really wanted to relent. Missing the walk was devastation to her. I really wanted to follow the “gentle parenting” protocol and ask her “Is there something on your mind that is making it hard for you to hear me?…Let’s talk about what’s on your mind.”…”Now let’s think about what it is that could help you listen and let’s think about how our day could be better and we could fit more enjoyment into it, if we listen and accomplish what we are asked to do.”
But teaching that there are often immediate consequences that come with disobedience is the Biblical alternative. That’s the point of the lesson today. It is gentle, in a real way, when we prepare our children for the world’s sowing and reaping and, especially, for the judgment and justice of God that make his tender mercies so precious to us.
Parents have to pay some everyday prices for Biblical parenting. Grandparents, who occasionally take charge, do, too. I had to miss my morning walk. I may be a little less prepared for the talk today. But I’m praying this sweet little girl, through the tears and disappointment of the early morning, will be a little more prepared, for life in Him, with each little consequence. She’s so good. Guiding children to the throne takes such diligence. I’m thankful for the parents all around me who are working so hard for that great gathering at the throne, including the parents of all six of my grandchildren. I praise God for those parents.
And two more Digging groups!
39. The coffee shop group in Huntsville, Alabama meets with Leah Wright on Wednesdays at 10 am. at Flint River Coffee Company on Winchester Road. I love these ladies. They range, in age, from 15-ish to 50-ish and they are digging wi,th the best! You can contact Leah through Facebook or you can contact me and I’ll give you a phone number!
40. The Wetumpka group (near Montgomery, Alabama) meets at the Wetumpka church building every 4th Monday night from 6:30-8:30. Lisa Morgan and Holly Smith are great contacts for that group. You can contact them through Facebook. If you have trouble, I have a number for this group, as well.