Browsing Tag

Parenting

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Kids are in the bed….Let’s dig!

I’m always on the lookout for ways for more women to access sound Bible study groups, especially Digging Deep. In the fifteen years we’ve been digging together, we’ve added study books, free downloads, interactive video podcasting, audio podcasting, hundreds of Digging Deep blog entries, hundreds of groups, Spanish translations, transcripts of podcasts, multiple advertising items and venues, and sessions and luncheons at various seminars and conventions. It’s been a blessed ride and I constantly learn from all of you. 

Recently, at a ladies day in Columbia, South Carolina, I met Sarah King, and was blessed by her idea. Young moms who want to study along in her area of Seneca, SC, have decided to utilize Google Meetings for their gathering, and they are meeting, on a specified monthly evening at 9 pm. 

I love this idea! Their kids are in bed and these moms are right there with them, in case the toddler has a bad dream or the baby gets hungry. Nursing moms can turn off their cameras, and, in the case of utter chaos, which can occasionally occur, even after bedtime, mamas can mute themselves, until relative calm returns.  

Thanks for sharing, Sarah. It’s a simple idea, but what a great one! The nine o’clock hour may be the very best hour of those Digging days for these blessed children whose mamas are a few feet away, studying together the Word that transforms lives and builds secure homes. Those secure homes, in turn, are foundational to the future spiritual success of those sleeping babies!

It’s not too late (at night or in your life)  to start digging!

 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Kids and Traditions

Last week, I took my second little pilgrimage, for my little granddaughter’s birthday, to a cabin in the Chickasaw State Park for a couple of nights. There’s one important lesson I solidified in my grandmother mind through the events of this second trip; one thing I really didn’t think about last year on the first trip to the cabin. 

Maggie wanted to go to the same park. She wanted me to try and get the same cabin. Once we got there, she wanted to make the same brownies, play in the exact part of the lake, find the wounded bird pavilion, go to the park office and look at the same stuffed animals, and roast marshmallows. She wanted her little brother, Ellis to come for the second night. All of these things were the things we did last year.  She even wanted to go to FHU and eat in the cafeteria. She wanted exactly the same things we had done the previous year! I was struck by this. What I might call “old news” or “monotony”, Maggie called exciting. I learned anew, that in the minds of children, tradition is a precious commodity. Maggie wanted her little brother to come with us on the second night, but not the first…just like last year. 

I remember that family traditions were important in my own childhood and in the years of Caleb’s and Hannah’s childhood. But I had never given a lot of thought to the grandparent/grandchild traditions we can and should be building. Why are family traditions (especially annual ones) so very important in childrearing? 

  1. They create a spirit of sanctification; not in the sense of sacredness, but in the sense of set-apartness. Traditions set our family apart from the “rest” of the people. Only our little circle can know and remember certain joys that happened in shared traditions. This makes membership in the family exclusive and special, in a good way. 
  2. They let the children know that there are certain people/events in our lives that are important enough to repeat. The memories are solidified and the events are anticipated eagerly from year to year. 
  3. Fun traditions make our children know that the Christian parents/grandparents know how to have fun in a better way than does the world around them. This is going to be important down the road. 
  4. Traditions provide a memory bank, for the future, that is just for your little circle to share—in conversations, in letters, in photos—all through the coming years. These are things that, one day, will be discussed, with fondness, at funerals. 
  5. Done the best way, traditions together are full of talk, devotion to and reverence for God. You don’t have to be in a worship assembly to be putting faith in kids. Now, don’t miss the worship assemblies of your people, but some of the best faith building times, in the growing years, are the family Bible times and the all-day-long Deuteronomy 6 kind of teaching in life. They will remember this teaching when they are remembering family traditions. 
  6. Traditions help children find steadiness and perseverance in the things that matter. It will become hard to find the time to repeat activities when your children become teens. When they watch you work around schedules to be sure it still happens, it builds stability and lets them know that they are important on your list of priorities. 

Repetition is absolutely necessary on every learning curve. I hope yon  are carrying out wholesome family traditions.

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Mama’s K.I.S.S. #79: Tag-Along Toddlers

As you know, if you’ve been reading, for quite some time, I’ve occasionally been running little installments called “Mama’s K.I.S.S.” I know that lots of readers could give many more and far more creative ideas than I can offer, but these installments are just a few tried and true and mostly old-fashioned ideas for putting service hearts in our kids.  This is number 77 of a list of one hundred ways we train our kids to serve. K.I.S.S. is an acronym for “Kids In Service Suggestions”.

This one’s a win for everyone involved. Take your older kids to visit a widow or widower. But first, let your older child call a young mom in the congregation and see if her two or three-year old can come visiting at the designated time with you and your older. Arrange for car seat swap-off and installation and let the toddler proudly ring the door bell with a plate of cookies in hand. Be sure you tell your child that “we are training this little one to serve.” You will serve a very happy widow. The little one will be blessed in the training. Your older one will have fun with the toddler, while learning to teach and serve. (Toddlers are always funny.) The young mom will have a (likely) much-needed break. And you, Mom, are training your future care-giver, to love and respect the opportunities to serve that she/he will be afforded through life. Everyone involved will hope this is not an isolated incident. (Well, YOU may have a moment or two when you think, “What was I thinking?” but you will quickly get past it!)  Relationships that will serve your child well are being formed. This one is a five-star opportunity. (I can hardly believe it, but there are parents who are doing this one now, who were the toddlers in the car-seat for our family’s tag-along escapades….It’s the morning of service that affects the next generation!)

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Talking about “Gentle Parenting” Today …and 40 groups, now!

Today is Super Thursday at the West Fayetteville church just across the state line in Tennessee. I’m excited to get to talk about parenting at this event. It’s kind of hard to narrow down the material when asked to speak for 45 minutes about raising godly children. I could talk about filling them with the Bible through Family Bible Time for the entire time. I could expound on the value of listening and communicating with our children. The dangers of social media could fill the entire slot, as well. 

Today, I’m going to talk about “gentle parenting” and the disparity between actually being a gentle, loving parent and what the world means today when the term “gentle parenting” is used. I’ve been communicating with a friend (or two) who plans to hop into the day for a brief time for this session. I’m glad for this chance and thankful to the God of more, for opportunities  that might bless my favorite people in the world: children. 

Today, I got up at 6:15, ready to take my walk and pray and talk through this lesson as I made my way through the neighborhood, before anyone else in the house woke up. One of the grands, who’s eight, had spent the night at our house last night. She awakened and wanted to walk with me. Of course, my plan changed, from studying, to visiting, on the walk. I told her to hurry and put her pants on. Moments later I reminded her that she needed to get her pants on. Then, I said “Grab your shoes and put them on.” 

“I think I left them in Mom’s car last night.” So I went to the closet and found some shoes I’d bought, second-hand, for her. “Here. Put these on, “ I told her as I handed them to her. Moments later, I came back and she was playing with some trinkets as she sat on her bed, her shoes still sitting there on her bed. 

“I’m sorry, sweet girl, but you cannot go on a walk this morning,” I said. You are not obeying me. I love you and I want you to get to go, but you must learn to obey.” 

Lightning fast, she had those sandals on and said “I’m ready. I’m ready, Mammy. See? I’m ready right now.” 

At this point, I had a clear choice. I’m not her parent, of course, but I do try to help her parent, when given the chance. I also knew that, last night, this eight-year-old could have no treats between meals and she could have only water to drink, because she had failed to obey her mother and get dressed for church when told to do so. 

As her grandmother, I really wanted to relent.  Missing the walk was devastation to her. I really wanted to follow the “gentle parenting” protocol and ask her “Is there something on your mind that is making it hard for you to hear me?…Let’s talk about what’s on your mind.”…”Now let’s think about what it is that could help you listen and let’s think about how our day could be better and we could fit more enjoyment into it, if we listen and accomplish what we are asked to do.”

But teaching that there are often immediate consequences that come with disobedience is the Biblical alternative. That’s the point of the lesson today. It is gentle, in a real way, when we prepare our children for the world’s sowing and reaping and, especially, for the judgment and justice of God that make his tender mercies so precious to us. 

Parents have to pay some everyday prices for Biblical parenting. Grandparents, who occasionally take charge, do, too. I had to miss my morning walk. I may be a little less prepared for the talk today. But I’m praying this sweet little girl, through the tears and disappointment of the early morning, will be a little more prepared, for life in Him, with each little consequence. She’s so good. Guiding children to the throne takes such diligence. I’m thankful for the parents all around me who are working so hard for that great gathering at the throne, including the parents of all six of my grandchildren. I praise God for those parents. 

And two more Digging groups!

39. The coffee shop group in Huntsville, Alabama meets with Leah Wright on Wednesdays at 10 am. at Flint River Coffee Company on Winchester Road. I love these ladies. They range, in age, from 15-ish to 50-ish and they are digging wi,th the best! You can contact Leah through Facebook or you can contact me and I’ll give you a phone number!  

40. The Wetumpka group (near Montgomery, Alabama) meets at the Wetumpka church building every 4th Monday night from 6:30-8:30. Lisa Morgan and Holly Smith are great contacts for that group. You can contact them through Facebook. If you have trouble, I have a number for this group, as well. 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

The Things you Find under the Dryer…

The hot water heater stopped heating my water on Tuesday. We kept waiting for it to heat back up, after our power loss, due to a nearby tornado touch-down on Tuesday night…but it didn’t. Just as my husband and I were about to leave for a short anniversary trip, we came to terms with the fact that the schedule we were facing upon returning was not conducive to the absence of  hot water in our bathrooms (or dishwasher or washing machine).  My man is a handyman par excellence. He is NOT a man who can easily pay someone else to do, while we are gone, what he knows how to do himself. So, of course, we didn’t go. (It was my decision, in view of my schedule, for the record. (It’s podcast week, company week, and a four-day-out-of-town trip week, for me.)

In the process of pulling out the dryer to get to the hot water heater, lots of debris (a.k.a filthiness…and lost socks and tiny toys) emerged from beneath  the dryer. A sealed envelope with two love birds hand-stamped on the front emerged in the pile of dust and miscellanea. I opened the sealed envelope thinking, “I wonder what nice note I failed to give my husband…and on what anniversary?”

The envelope contained the following weeklong checklist I’d prepared for a homeschooling moms’ retreat several years back. It was a list I needed to see  while watching my husband laboriously removing that mammoth water heater from that small laundry hall, while I was working like crazy, too, and  bemoaning the fact that I was home rather than in the Westin, where we had planned to be that night. Maybe someone else needs the list, too.

Here’s the handout the ladies all received that year in their own sealed envelopes. Of course, this list is adaptable to all Christian families, homeschooling, or not.

For your faithful provider:

Pick a week in each month and complete the following: Then start over and pick a week next month. Fill your year with gratitude and respect for this man  who makes your homeschool possible: 

Massage Monday–Massage night. You’ve got this. Just five minutes while you thank him for making your home school possible. 

Text Tuesday–Text him, out of the blue, about how your world is better because he is a faithful provider. 

Wisdom Wednesday–Wisdom WonderMan. On the way to Bible class, thank him for trying so hard to be a wise spiritual leader. Then at Family Bible Time, have each child thank God for a wise dad who makes good decisions for your family. 

Thanking Thursday–Thank God. Spend five minutes in prayer while the kids are napping or working. Spend the whole five minutes thanking God for various attributes in that man that are good and praying about the ones that are challenging. 

Fix-up Friday–Fix-up day. Do casual Friday, but still make it a make-up day or a good-hair day. Think about three things you love about your husband’s appearance and tell him throughout the day, even if you have to text him. 

Suggestive Saturday–Suggestive day. Say or do one sexually suggestive thing. This will make his week-end. I know you can think of something he would love!

Servant Sunday–Servant day. Have each child think of one special thing he/she can do for Dad that day, and help him accomplish it. Coffee in bed. Brag on his sermon, if he is a preacher. New socks in his drawer. Money out of piggy banks for a milkshake on the way home from Sunday night services. Teens should write notes of appreciation or send a meme or GIF that says as much. Give dad a baseball that has a sweet note about how he’s the MVP (Most Valuable Parent) in the child’s world. Girls can ask dad for a breakfast date on Monday morning. Just be creative!

 

 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

For All the Precious New Babies

 

Many sweet sisters I love have given birth in the last few weeks. Several are making plans right now for new babies to come home. What a huge life-changing event for parents This is my prayer for all those mamas and babies.

 

God Bless the Babies

God, give them strength as they enter our lives.
Give wisdom to parents as each of them strives
To make for them places in our world to grow.
Teach them Lord. We’re so small.  There’s so much we don’t know.

God bless them as they to your wonders awake.
Bless them, dear Lord, when their first steps they take.
They’re  so small.  May their scratches and bruises be small.
May mama’s kiss make it better each time they may fall.

Lily Annette Colley

Help them to learn, Lord, just what they should know
To take them in life where you want them to go.
But in all of this learning, may they never forget.
The One who has made them and walks with them yet.

Give them courage when Satan first gets in the way.
May they stay near your word. May they kneel down and pray.
May they put on you Lord.  That’s my most fervent prayer;
And for all of their days cast on you every care.

Olivia Leigh Benavides

When the time comes, Oh God, that they must go away,
In that “letting go”, Lord, still hear us pray.
God, bless the babies.  Look down from your throne.
Watch over them gently, for still they’re your own.

Give them shelter, dear Lord, from this world’s raging storm,
In a place where your love shines; a place that is warm.
Give them people to help them seek you throughout life.
Give them one of your own, for each husband or wife.

And one day may they know the joy we now feel,
Of a life just beginning, but precious and real.
May something we put in their hearts make them sure

That even souls in the womb are yours, precious and pure.

 

Amos Hiram Moon

So Father, my prayer is for  life you’re now giving;
And, more, for sweet souls that will always be living.
Our task is so great.  We’re so small.  May we see
That “through Christ I can do all, for He strengthens me.”

CCSig