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Parenting

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Mamas, You will want this!

Posted on April 24, 2024

We’re very excited to be bringing SOON a book for kids ages 7-12 written by Hannah Colley  and exploring doctrinal issues on a kid-friendly level. It seems to us at The Colley House that there’s a void of plain teaching about the nature of the church, the authority of the Word and the unique features about the Biblical things we teach–things like God’s truth on marriage and divorce, His plan for church leadership, the nature and the “why” of baptism and so much more. So Hannah presents a typical, but imaginary, family working through these issues in their Family Bible Times. I’m collaborating with her and I could not be more pleased. This is going to be great for YOUR Family Bible Time, too. I cannot wait for you to see it.

Here’s a blurb:

…Speaking of big and mature, apparently you start to think about things a lot more when you’re 8. Big people things. Take what I thought about and learned this week, for instance. I was playing with my friend Maddie a few days ago while our moms were drinking coffee downstairs. Maddie is a lot older than me—she’s 12–and has long straight blonde hair and braces.  Maddie was saying something about how her family always goes to the lake on Sundays in the summertime. I said, “On Sundays? You mean you don’t go to church on Sundays?”  She smiled at me and said, “I know church is really important to your family, Jane. That’s your truth. But my family thinks you can find God everywhere, especially out in nature, like at the lake—you don’t have to be at church to know God. That’s my truth, and it’s okay if it’s not the same as yours.” 

Well, I just sat there without saying anything else because I’d never heard anyone talk like that before. What did she even mean MY truth and HER truth, and whoever heard of going to the lake on Sunday? Didn’t her parents teach her that that’s the Lord’s Day? I was confused. 

That night, during our family Bible time, I asked my dad about what Maddie said. I told him how she said her family goes to the lake on Sundays and that when I asked her why they don’t go to church on Sundays, she said that my truth was different from her truth. 

My dad said that Maddie had probably been brought up around something called relativism. He asked if I knew what that was…. 

I think you are going to want this book. It makes Family Bible Time easier without making it less efficient. It will build spiritual muscles and security. It will, prayerfully, help you  put your  little souls around the throne.

While you are waiting, don’t forget the Hope series. It’s helping hundreds already. Our goal is daily spiritual injections that give kids better Satan immunity.  We can do this!

All are found here:

https://www.thecolleyhouse.org/store



Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Mama’s K.I.S.S. #68: Elderly Overnight

Posted on April 18, 2024

As you know, if you’ve been reading, for quite some time, I’ve occasionally been running little installments called “Mama’s K.I.S.S.” I know that lots of readers could give many more and far more creative ideas than I can offer, but these installments are just a few tried and true and mostly old-fashioned ideas for putting service hearts in our kids.  This is number 67  of a list of one hundred ways we train our kids to serve. K.I.S.S. is an acronym for “Kids In Service Suggestions”.

Not everyone will be able to do this. You may not know this person or you may have too many younger kids to make it work. But I could not skip this one. It made a profound impact on our family. 

We knew another family who was caring for an aged father in their home. He was no longer able to live on his own because of dementia and other health issues. He had preached the gospel all of his life and he loved to be around people. He loved to sing and he loved to do magic tricks for kids and teens. 

So, on a couple of occasions, when his family, who cared for him, had an out-of-town emergency or just needed a break, he came over to our house for a day or two. I cannot even tell you how impactful this was on young teens. 

They learned patience. They listened to the same jokes and stories over and over. and they learned to laugh again and again. They taught their friends this. 

They learned illustrations that were powerful for the plan of salvation and teaching the lost. They had to learn them because they were presented so many times. 

They learned to spread the joy. They had friends over who sang and sang through the night, because that’s what this wonderful man loved the most. The music in my living room was some of the most beautiful I will hear in this lifetime, and young people were learning to be comfortable around elderly people who were on a different spectrum of thought. 

They learned to respect the hoary head. They watched us and heard us speaking about the many lives who had come to know Christ as a result of this man’s work. They saw, in a practical way, the honor that should be given to those who have sacrificed for the Cause, and, really, to all the elderly among us. They understood the value in keeping the elderly from institutions and caring for them in our homes when it is possible. 

The funniest part was when it got to be midnight, and then two a.m., and the kids were still singing and he was still having so much fun. I said “Okay, now. You have to take your night meds. It’s past time. ”

He replied “Oh no. I take those when I go to bed and I am not going to bed yet.”

The kids just learned a lot. Even if the “ask” is not there, I’d still make this happen if possible for kids growing up in a self-centered world. It’s a little investment for a big return. SO many lessons learned. 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Mama’s K.I.S.S. #68–House Sitting

Posted on March 21, 2024

As you know, if you’ve been reading, for quite some time, I’ve occasionally been running little installments called “Mama’s K.I.S.S.” I know that lots of readers could give many more and far more creative ideas than I can offer, but these installments are just a few tried and true and mostly old-fashioned ideas for putting service hearts in our kids.  This is number 67  of a list of one hundred ways we train our kids to serve. K.I.S.S. is an acronym for “Kids In Service Suggestions”.

I’m sure this one’s intuitive, but it’s a great responsibility tutor. Look for families in the congregation or neighborhood and let your kids volunteer to do the necessary plant watering and pet feeding, and mail-gathering while they are gone. Your non-Christian neighbors will see the church in a good light and your Christian family will develop closer bonds with your children. Be sure your kids ask politely, for the chance to volunteer in this way. “Is there something we can do while you are gone? I’d love to help and my mom says she can help me.”  For the younger ones, you’ll need to go along, of course, and be sure plants aren’t drowned and dog food stays in its place.

Then, as kids mature, they can take these tasks seriously and complete them on their own. When they get to be driving age, they can be really good at house sitting, even if it involves spending the night in homes of trusted friends when they are out of town.

It’s important not to expect or ask for payment from those you know. But it’s my recommendation that you allow your kids to take the tip that will likely be offered when the travelers return. That gives a great opportunity to practice thank-you notes and giving to the church from the gift received.

This is truly a wonderful way to learn the importance of remembering (writing down or setting alarms for) responsibilities and keeping up with keys and scheduling around other activities. It’s a win in every way as long as you are parenting with safety in mind.

 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

“I don’t want it to die!”

Posted on March 19, 2024

My daughter, Hannah, posted the following last week. Several of you said you could already anticipate the upcoming blog post. So scroll down for the points well-taken from this little lament.

The most precious thing just happened. I was in my room and I heard Eliza calling me. I went to her in the kitchen and she was holding a petal that had fallen from my flowers in the vase. She said, “Mama, I need you to put this back on the flowers.”

I said, “Well, I can’t. It fell off.”

She responded, “But it needs to be in the water.”

I explained, thinking this wasn’t a big deal, “Well when petals fall off, they die….We have to just throw this one away.”

I went back to my breakfast-cooking and, in a minute, I  heard sniffling. I looked over at her and big tears were streaming down her baby face. I immediately went to her and asked what was wrong. She was still holding the petal, and wailed softly, “I DON’T WANT IT TO DIE!”

 

  1. Young children give us multiple daily opportunities to put the Word in them. We have to be opportunity-alert (Deuteronomy 6:4-6).
  1. Young children think their mothers can do anything, even restore petals to the bloom. Therefore, the responsibility to show them Christ is a huge one (2 Timothy 1:5).
  1. Physical life requires water. Spiritual life requires living water. We have no hope without the water (John 4:1-15).
  1. What is significant to our children is just as important to them as what’s significant to us adults is important to us. Unselfish parenting makes unselfish adult children (Luke 18:16).
  1. Sometimes we can be dismissive of someone’s grief. We fail to realize the hurt is continuing in hearts right beside us (Romans 12:15).
  1. Sometimes we cook, or clean or scroll on a device through the most teachable moments of our kids’ lives (Proverbs 127:3-5).
  1. Death is a natural phenomenon. But God meant for us to see the urgency demanded by the brevity of life. He used grass and petals and vapor to illustrate this. Evangelism’s opportunities are in the lessons of this petal. We should be constantly thinking, speaking, working for souls around us: “I don’t want it to die.” We should be getting them to the water of life (James 1:11; 4:14).
  1. Sometimes, a child needs a few minutes of explanation, when the quick version seems very sufficient to us parents. That’s why quantity time is so very important. We don’t know when those moments may occur, but they are time-sensitive (Deut. 4:9).

Now, in case anyone thinks I am postulating that Han is a dismissive, scrolling, uninvolved parent, that cannot be further from truth. She’s one of the most involved parents I know. It’s just that God is good to give all of us little reminders of the important in the midst of the chaotic urgent. I needed this little reminder.

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Pokémon and Priorities

Posted on February 27, 2024

 

Last Sunday morning on our way to worship, I got this text from our daughter, who was obviously getting kids in the van and voice texting at the same time. Immediately after the following text, I got another in which she just simply (and sarcastically) said, “Thank-you Siri!”

As you can tell, the first sentence is really to me. The rest is a lesson given to Colleyanna (a.k.a. Call Ana). I could have gone through and punctuated and re-spelled, but somehow the rawness of Siri’s eavesdropping and recording made this even sweeter to me. I’m thankful for her and all parents who are trying so hard to chip away at selfishness and instill priorities of faith and devotion to the Almighty. I know many who have power-packed conversations all day long in Deuteronomy six fashion with absorbent and intentional minds. Yesterday, I went over to Hannah’s  house to join a Bible Study with non-Christian women that she had scheduled at her house. Watching Ezra sit at that table and look up the verses we were using was another palpable thanksgiving moment for me. None of this is likely or even possible without the huge and overarching Providence of a God that knows how to accomplish our heavenward goals for children far better than we can imagine.

Here’s the fun little text about dropped Pokémon cards and priorities:

Please tell us where you’re sitting and get our sermon sheets. OK now call Ana. It’s not his fault that you dropped your Pokémon stuff he didn’t do that. I know it’s easy to blame him but he didn’t do that you dropped him and it’s OK will get them. Will get them organize will get them where they need to be but right now you know how must it make Jesus feel if we’re on our way to worship him and we are way more worried about Pokémon cards then we are about making sure we’re ready to worship and we’re way more worried about Pokémon cards than we are about safety how how much that make God feel I understand that the Pokémon cards are very important to you. I understand that there are things that are important to me too, but we need a set our priorities, straight, OK

So, Thanks Siri.

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

DD Writing Week!

Posted on February 16, 2024

It’s Digging Deep Writing week! It’s busy and it’s  kind of a sleep-deprived study marathon, but it’s fun. Here’s a short excerpt from the lesson I worked on yesterday. Most portions are full of questions and scriptures. This was just one little part in which I was on a small soapbox:

  • Mothers must be joyful home-keepers. We really need to return to loving to cook, loving a well-ordered home, loving to hold and cuddle babies and loving to read to our children. We need to love the home-crafts that make our homes pretty and fun. But even more importantly, we need to love the showing of beautiful attitudes to our children. To think we cannot have those attitudes of joy in interacting with our children is to accept defeat before we have begun. No wonder our girls grow up in a hurry to get out of our homes and to be with whoever comes along, if we have made our homes situations of stress and power-clutching.  
  • Boys need to see their daddies be serious students of the word and your son needs to be 100 percent sure that Dad loves to be with him, throwing the ball or hunting the buck. Girls need to be with their moms in the kitchen and that kitchen needs to be a place of laughter. Girls need to see their moms loving daily Bible study and prayer. 
  • Ironically, I have found that the manipulative/abusive men are generally not the men who want quiet women at home.They are most generally men who want the immodest, boisterous women and they most often want them to bring home their half of the family funding. Teach your girls to reject this mentality and you will be halfway to victory. 
  • Teach your  boys and girls to wait on the Lord. That’s the hardest part. Tell them these things: “Take a relatively long time for the courtship, even if you think one day, you’d like a short engagement. Don’t be afraid of red flags. Look for them. If he wants you to carry your own bags when you come to visit his parents, see the flag waving. If she cannot keep her hands to herself or if she cannot cover her cleavage and thighs, see the flag waving.” 
  • I did not say the list would be a quick and easy fix. But, if some of us do not decide to break the maddening cycle of stress and work and money/power chasing, and take time for the important quality time that occurs in the middle of quantity time with our kids, then we will continue to inflict marriage angst on our kids. 

I hope you are thinking about doing the study that begins next September with us. It’s the Word! It’s already blessing me. And it’s already making me very sleepy! =)