Browsing Tag

Parenting

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Parents Towing the Line

Sometimes, I’m amazed as I look around and see children dominating parents; I mean, really being the bosses in the God-given schools of submission tutelage. Children are, biblically, the students in the subject of submission and holy conformity and parents are the primary teachers in that education. It’s easy for parents and grandparents to slowly melt into the world’s mode of child-dictated homes using phrases that sound good; phrases like “I want my child to learn to make good choices on his own, so I just let him lead the way and learn the consequences,” or “saying no a lot to my kids can make them have negative self esteem.” (I actually read that last one in Psychology Today.)

God punished Eli in 1 Samuel 3:13 for his failure to restrain his sons. Perhaps similar failures of parents in recent decades has contributed to the rampant adult patterns we see around us of self-absorption and manipulation, often developing into narcissistic behavior. 

I think there are some phrases kids often say today (with obvious variations)  that we can and should eradicate from our homes. Here are some examples: 

“But what if I don’t want __________ for breakfast?”

“I will get in the bed, if you will do _________________.”

“But I really wanted to go to McDonald’s instead of this place.” 

‘I hate wearing these dress shoes.” 

“I’m first!” 

“Yes. But I finished that snack and I’m still hungry.” 

“I’m bored.” 

“I don’t want to drink just water.” 

“No, mom. I’m leaving that there because I am going to play with it again later.” 

“It’s too hot outside today. I’m staying in here.” 

“But that theater is not the kind with the comfy seats.” 

 When we foster this thinking, we pave the way for an unfulfilling adulthood; one in which there is never enough. We enable selfishness and selfishness never co-exists with true happiness. 

 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Mama’s K.I.S.S. #71–Newswatch

As you know, if you’ve been reading, for quite some time, I’ve occasionally been running little installments called “Mama’s K.I.S.S.” I know that lots of readers could give many more and far more creative ideas than I can offer, but these installments are just a few tried and true and mostly old-fashioned ideas for putting service hearts in our kids.  This is number 71 of a list of one hundred ways we train our kids to serve. K.I.S.S. is an acronym for “Kids In Service Suggestions”.

Most of us don’t take time to watch the local news anymore. Some of us have community facebook groups that feature the local crises and even damage from disasters. Sometimes the stories of local fires, or even the stories of  nearby automobile accidents make the news. sometimes children who are victims are disease are featured when there are community outpourings of support.

Whichever medium you use. have your children listen up for a week and find a community family that may be encouraged by your families’ cards or gifts or food delivery. Have your children help make the cards or the food and take it to the family whose house burned or whose power is out from the storm.  They may even be able to help with clean-up after storm damage or for a family who has spent an extensive time away at a children’s hospital or rehab. It’s good for your kids to learn to look out for opportunities and it’s good for them to develop courage and poise in meeting strangers who may be in need. Be sure to study the relevant portion of Matthew 25 with them as you serve strangers. This one is about strangers you located on television or social media.

This is one worth repeating over and over. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you gained a Bible study through this outreach? You just might. But you WILL gain another level of a servitude in your child. Be sure you verbally encourage your child for the goodness he is showing. Be sure each child follows and participates in the process all the way through.

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Moms of Boys…Can You Make this Happen?


In the midst of a time when more and more young adults are choosing a path of deconstruction—deconstruction of a Biblically ordered faith—there’s a lot that parents can do to spiritually protect their kids from taking the path that will eventually take them to sorrow in this life and to the unspeakable in the next. We cannot make their choices for them, but we can give them a jumpstart toward true success. We can invest in that.

I’m thankful for programs like this one that Daniel Samek has put together for guys, ages 14-20. I love everything about it. I love the ages of the guys who will attend. So many times we fail to include those who have left high school and entered the work force or a university. Often these are the ones who need it most and will find the tools offered to be extremely valuable as they are influenced by those who are militant in an atheistic world view. 

I’m thankful for the speakers chosen.  They are Jeremy Burleson, Scott Ballard, Glenn Colley and B.J. Clarke. I know that Daniel worked  very hard to insure soundness and I know they are not only faithful men, but they also love the souls of the hearers. They are passionate about putting truth in them. One of them, I know especially well. =)

I’m thankful for the expense and effort on the part of the organizers. It’s a lot to put something like this together. But it’s the kind of effort that keeps on working when the event is past. Sometimes, programs like this keep influencing till the final “Well done” is spoken in the last day. 

I’m thankful for the topics. I’ve seen that list as well, and it’s a type of spiritual insurance that parents take out on young souls that will face a barrage of unbelief, often even mockery in our post-modern world.

They tell me that there’s still a place for your son. I wish mine could have experienced this. I hope it will still be around one day for my grandsons.

Here is all you need to know!   SOTK Flyer Finished

Registration is here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfjo3MUT1FLE4zooPkdK3exvnOCFl4dSMPRfA8fNAlQjM0a8w/viewform

 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Parenting is not for Sissies; It’s for Mommies.

 

I ran across this letter to my daughter when she was expecting her first child and several moms around her must have been going through PPD. They were less than encouraging to her about life after giving birth.

She already knew all of these things I wrote to her. You do, too. But, every mama needs a reminder now and then. One day, soon, you will peer into a quiet dark room and remember the days you looked at the mess in that room,  considered the immaturity, the childish tantrum or the poor grade and said “Why don’t you grow up and take responsibility?”

And you will hear the soft whisper echoing back: “I did.”

Dear Han,

IT IS SO WORTH IT! Every time that little boy brings you dandelions and kisses, it’s worth it. Every time you lie down with that little girl for nap and she falls asleep on your breast and drools on your shirt, it’s worth it. Every time she fills in the blanks when you tell her the story of Noah or David and the Giant, it’s worth it. And, especially, the first time you tell him about the cross and tiny tears roll down his cheeks, it’s worth it a thousand times-plus. Every time you blow bubbles and she chases them, every time you build towers and forts and tents under quilts pinned to chairs in the living room, it’s worth it. When you are drinking lemonade that you paid for at the grocery, made this morning and then carted out to the end of your driveway for that lemonade stand, and then you paid for it again (only it was more expensive the second time around), it’s still worth it. Every time you see tiny hands folded in prayer or hear that little shrill voice beside you in worship singing “He loves me, He loves me, He loves me, this I know,” it is worth it. And, oh, for that one moment…that moment when you take her in your arms when she’s fresh up from the waters of baptism…just that moment is worth it over and over and over again.

But you know what? You don’t even really start to understand how much it’s worth till the day she comes to you and says “You’re a grandmother.” See, Hannah, it’s something about knowing that you’re going to get to keep making investments in a little heart…investments that will not fully render their dividends till we’re with Jesus one day. Which missed naps? What pain in childbirth? Nursing soreness? Very short-lived. Scarcity of alone time with your dad? Okay, maybe a little scarce, but I barely remember. (We have wonderful catch-up time now.)

It’s that thing you said about crying together and still being able to laugh till you can’t catch your breath. It’s all the tears you invest in your kids that make them all the more valuable to you. There are plenty of biological moms out there who don’t really get much joy. See, when you don’t put in the time and tears and occasional missed naps (but, anyway, naps are more fun when they start with a fairy tale), you don’t get the return of two hearts bonded for life in a relationship that only moms and kids know. And you don’t generally get heaven together, either.

Somehow, I think there’s a sense in which I can’t even know how “worth it” motherhood is yet. But I think I will know when I’m sitting around the throne…with you and Caleb (and the little people who grow up for Him) and I hear all those voices (with a sweet familiar tone) blending together. “He loves me. He loves me. He loves me, this I know.”

Love,
Mom

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Mamas, You will want this!

We’re very excited to be bringing SOON a book for kids ages 7-12 written by Hannah Colley  and exploring doctrinal issues on a kid-friendly level. It seems to us at The Colley House that there’s a void of plain teaching about the nature of the church, the authority of the Word and the unique features about the Biblical things we teach–things like God’s truth on marriage and divorce, His plan for church leadership, the nature and the “why” of baptism and so much more. So Hannah presents a typical, but imaginary, family working through these issues in their Family Bible Times. I’m collaborating with her and I could not be more pleased. This is going to be great for YOUR Family Bible Time, too. I cannot wait for you to see it.

Here’s a blurb:

…Speaking of big and mature, apparently you start to think about things a lot more when you’re 8. Big people things. Take what I thought about and learned this week, for instance. I was playing with my friend Maddie a few days ago while our moms were drinking coffee downstairs. Maddie is a lot older than me—she’s 12–and has long straight blonde hair and braces.  Maddie was saying something about how her family always goes to the lake on Sundays in the summertime. I said, “On Sundays? You mean you don’t go to church on Sundays?”  She smiled at me and said, “I know church is really important to your family, Jane. That’s your truth. But my family thinks you can find God everywhere, especially out in nature, like at the lake—you don’t have to be at church to know God. That’s my truth, and it’s okay if it’s not the same as yours.” 

Well, I just sat there without saying anything else because I’d never heard anyone talk like that before. What did she even mean MY truth and HER truth, and whoever heard of going to the lake on Sunday? Didn’t her parents teach her that that’s the Lord’s Day? I was confused. 

That night, during our family Bible time, I asked my dad about what Maddie said. I told him how she said her family goes to the lake on Sundays and that when I asked her why they don’t go to church on Sundays, she said that my truth was different from her truth. 

My dad said that Maddie had probably been brought up around something called relativism. He asked if I knew what that was…. 

I think you are going to want this book. It makes Family Bible Time easier without making it less efficient. It will build spiritual muscles and security. It will, prayerfully, help you  put your  little souls around the throne.

While you are waiting, don’t forget the Hope series. It’s helping hundreds already. Our goal is daily spiritual injections that give kids better Satan immunity.  We can do this!

All are found here:

https://www.thecolleyhouse.org/store



Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Mama’s K.I.S.S. #68: Elderly Overnight

As you know, if you’ve been reading, for quite some time, I’ve occasionally been running little installments called “Mama’s K.I.S.S.” I know that lots of readers could give many more and far more creative ideas than I can offer, but these installments are just a few tried and true and mostly old-fashioned ideas for putting service hearts in our kids.  This is number 67  of a list of one hundred ways we train our kids to serve. K.I.S.S. is an acronym for “Kids In Service Suggestions”.

Not everyone will be able to do this. You may not know this person or you may have too many younger kids to make it work. But I could not skip this one. It made a profound impact on our family. 

We knew another family who was caring for an aged father in their home. He was no longer able to live on his own because of dementia and other health issues. He had preached the gospel all of his life and he loved to be around people. He loved to sing and he loved to do magic tricks for kids and teens. 

So, on a couple of occasions, when his family, who cared for him, had an out-of-town emergency or just needed a break, he came over to our house for a day or two. I cannot even tell you how impactful this was on young teens. 

They learned patience. They listened to the same jokes and stories over and over. and they learned to laugh again and again. They taught their friends this. 

They learned illustrations that were powerful for the plan of salvation and teaching the lost. They had to learn them because they were presented so many times. 

They learned to spread the joy. They had friends over who sang and sang through the night, because that’s what this wonderful man loved the most. The music in my living room was some of the most beautiful I will hear in this lifetime, and young people were learning to be comfortable around elderly people who were on a different spectrum of thought. 

They learned to respect the hoary head. They watched us and heard us speaking about the many lives who had come to know Christ as a result of this man’s work. They saw, in a practical way, the honor that should be given to those who have sacrificed for the Cause, and, really, to all the elderly among us. They understood the value in keeping the elderly from institutions and caring for them in our homes when it is possible. 

The funniest part was when it got to be midnight, and then two a.m., and the kids were still singing and he was still having so much fun. I said “Okay, now. You have to take your night meds. It’s past time. ”

He replied “Oh no. I take those when I go to bed and I am not going to bed yet.”

The kids just learned a lot. Even if the “ask” is not there, I’d still make this happen if possible for kids growing up in a self-centered world. It’s a little investment for a big return. SO many lessons learned.