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Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Fairview Purity Day!–March 9th.

I know you look around and see so many good things to do. I’ve already been invited to more than one event on the ninth of March. But let me tell you…I doubt you will find a more beneficial one if you have daughters between 10 and 20, than this one at Fairview  in Pulaski, Tennessee. In fact, even if you have boys, it would be a great thing for you to experience, so that you can better show them the characteristics they should be searching for in the ladies they spend time with and, one day, marry.

Oh, I know. I’ve heard it just like you have. “Purity days are not how we should teach our girls about waiting for marriage to have sex. In fact, when we keep emphasizing purity, we diminish from the healthy joy of sex, once our girls marry.”

That’s a theory that is simply untrue. Oh, we must constantly tell them that God has saved the best for his children. We, as mamas, must teach them about their sexuality and about how God has reserved that wonderful act, where one man and one woman share the most intimate act known to humanity, for marriage. We must make sure they know about and look forward to the physical union  that God made for much more than just procreation. These conversations come naturally to mothers who are growing pure hearts in little girls. But to say that a big group of girls learning together about cultivating a heart of holiness in a world of eye-candy and  expected sex in dating relationships, is a waste of time–well, that is absurdity.

If your kids are in school, they are hearing the devil’s message about sexuality at every turn. If they are on social media, at all, they are feeling the pull. If they watch any amount of indiscriminate videos online or television (cable or screened), they are getting the sexuality bullet-points from the devil. I’m just saying any immunization from the message that is being shouted all around them about relativism and sexuality, is worth your time and attention. It’s worth your drive.

I’m not sure exactly what topics will be covered on that day. But I know the ladies who are planning this. I know their deep love for their daughters. I know the spiritual-minded nature of their  Bible-focused hearts. I know it will be where I’d want to be, if I could, with my teen-aged daughter. Here you go…


Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

This Bizarre One Again….The Lion is Busy.



I have to tell you that I never thought I would be posting a note with such an off-the-wall title. But then I never thought that this would be the question that would keep resurfacing. Several times over the past years, the question has come…” Do the Colleys teach that married people shouldn’t take off their clothes in front of one another…even during sexual activity?” Let me say up front, the answer is NO, NO, and NO again. We have never taught that, do not believe that, have never believed that, and certainly have never practiced that silly, if not impossible absurdity in our own marriage! I really hope that’s clear. The first time I ran this post was in the year 2009. that was 13 years ago. Within the last few weeks (we are now in 2022), this accusation that’s so very false was made in a fairly public venue yet again. Let’s be clear:

The first time the question came up, I just chuckled. It was in conversation with some students at FHU and I really was amused that some rumor like this was even believable. After all, I have always been pretty clear in my teaching of Hebrews 13:4. I have always taught that sexual freedom within a God-approved marriage of a man and wife is only inhibited by the Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12). Nothing is off limits in marriage unless and until one of the marriage partners is hurt or offended by it. I think the Golden Rule would most often necessitate the removal of clothes for sex between married people!

Since, my teaching was so public and clear, I really didn’t worry about this query from these students. After all, in the grand scheme of things, what I think about any subject is so relatively unimportant anyway. I was glad they asked, if they were wondering, “But what a weird and awkward question!”

Then it was an eldership in a Mississippi church where Glenn and I were to conduct a marriage seminar. Same question. I was glad they asked, too. After all, if I were an elder and I had any inkling that someone was going to come in and teach something so absurd, I would want to ask. Glenn answered this time and we went and taught the seminar. Then it was a church in Florida where I was scheduled to speak in 2008. Then others; most recently from another group of students on another campus. Now I can formulate the question for those who call to ask. When someone says, “I know this sounds silly, and I’m embarrassed to even ask you this, but can I ask you something about what you teach?”, then I just say, “Oh, no need to be embarrassed. In fact, you don’t even have to ask…No I do NOT teach that married people must have sex with their clothes on!”

Now I’m still not presumptuos enough to think that what I teach about something has any huge impact on the masses. But I AM beginning to think the devil has his wicked hand in keeping this rumor alive. After all, it’s not the masses he is after. But he is a roaring lion and he would love to get his teeth into some innocent young teen Christian girls. Maybe he would like to shield these young girls from hearing “old-fashioned” truths that I DO teach about modest dress, premarital abstinence and virtue. If he can convince some Christians that teachers who stand for purity and attempt to give practical tools for its maintenence are just quacks…absurdly backward radicals…then maybe he can dilute the message of purity. In some cases, maybe he can keep the tools for purity out of the hearing of those young girls who need it desperately in our promiscuous society. Maybe he can close the minds and ears to teachings from Titus 2 before the teacher even gets to the seminar! It is not the world that the lion is stalking. He already has the world. It’s the Christians. And young teenage Christian girls are often vulnerable to his deceit.

So for the record, here is what Glenn and Cindy Colley DO believe and teach:

1. Sex, outside of marriage is always sinful (I Corinthians 6:18-20).

2. Sex, within a God-approved marriage, is wonderful, biblical, commanded and unrestrained (Heb.13:4 and the whole Song of Solomon).

3. The Bible, practically applied, gives us tools for saving sex for marriage.

4. The Bible, practically applied, gives us tools for making sex the best it can be in marriage. (This would include all kinds of things from taking your clothes off for your spouse, to consideration of one another through your days, to frequent sexaul encounters, to romantic times of touching and talking, to…well you get the point!)

For more about what we teach about Christian marriage, we just completed a book called “You’re Singing My Song”, now available in lots of places as well as directly from us. We conduct marriage seminars in lots of places. Our speaking schedules are posted at You’re invited to come to any of these at any time and then you’ll know what we teach first-hand. We pray that God can use us in whatever small way to anchor Christian marriages in the Word, to help young people find their way to faithful Christian homes, and to protect the purity of His people from the roaring lion! That lion is very busy.

(Also, let me add once more that I do know that it’s not all about me. If I never write or teach another thing, truth will be out there and there will be many more qualified people saying it with greater clarity than I could. One day soon, I’ll be gone and I know no one will remember for long anything that I have said.  I just don’t get the chance to clear up confusion about what everyone else teaches. Of my own teaching/statements I can say what I KNOW with certainty to be factual. Thanks for reading.)

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Family Ties in the Social Distance #4

My husband, Glenn, is sharing these daily lessons from Philippians 4:8 for our West Huntsville family as we are necessarily (because of the virus) spending less time physically together in worship, study and fellowship. We may be “socially distanced,” but  we’re a close-knit family and we want to keep it that way! One way to stay on track together, spiritually, is to think about a common passage and make applications for our lives together even when we are unable to assemble as frequently. I’m sharing these daily family lessons here for those in other places, whose families (or even congregations) might benefit from a common study in these uncommon days of semi-quarantine. Blessings.

From Glenn:


Thursday — Whatever Is Pure

When Paul wrote that we are to think on things that are pure, he used a word defined by Strong’s as, innocent, modest, perfect: — chaste, clean, pure. This is in sync with other passages that place our sexuality in an elevated category when it comes to protection and purity.  Paul showed us the uniqueness of sexual sin when he wrote “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18).  He went on to say “…because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2).  Jesus put sexual sin in a unique category when He taught, “…whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery” (Mt. 19:9).  Of the plethora of instructions older women could give younger women about marriage and the home, Paul makes a short list and includes this: “…Admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste…”(Tit. 2:4-5).  

Think of all the harmful behaviors that potentially destroy marriages and consider that Jesus elevates this one sin—fornication to be the exclusive basis on which divorce and remarriage can occur with God’s approval.  I doubt we will ever fully understand the depth of spiritual significance involved in this act. Fornication is a sin with profound consequences, and God always references it with great sobriety. 

Mankind shakes a fist at heaven over God’s sexual laws.  Hell has persuaded people to embrace homosexuality and to proudly espouse the joy of the fluidity of  gender. A man can choose to be a woman if he likes and people are bound to use pronouns that suit that unfortunate pretense. God has given such people up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, (Rom. 1:24).  Some of the strongest condemnations of Scripture are aimed at sexual sin and perversion.  We understand why. Sexual immorality is dark and destroys lives and homes. 

Even members of the body of Christ sometimes make the sad mistake of flirting with sexual sin by wearing revealing clothing, by dancing inappropriately, and by participating in other lustful and reckless behaviors.  They sin against their own bodies and invite haunting ghosts of regret into their future lives.

In contrast, consider the bright light of purity—not the absence of sexuality but the safety and joy of sex within God’s prescribed boundaries.  In Biblical marriage, sex knows no broken violation of God’s holy word, no guilt, no bitter and lingering heartache, no young girls with shattered lives facing unwanted pregnancies, no teen boys with STD’s. This sexuality is pure. It is God-designed, God-approved, and, in fact, it is God-commanded for those who are married (I Cor. 7:1-2).  It is joyful. It is bonding in an incomparable way.  It is the ultimate embrace. Its purity is traditionally depicted by a white dress, and a honeymoon that is physically fulfilling and holy at the same time.  Sexuality is a deep celebration in marriage because the act of marriage binds husband and wife to one another for their entire lives.

Not all sex is equal.  We must force ourselves to contrast and separate the world’s corrupted sex and the purity of sex in a happy, God-approved marriage.  Then we are doing what Paul teaches us here:  We are thinking on the things that are pure and lovely.

Tonight’s Story Time Earlier in the day, prepare yourself for family story time by reading carefully Genesis 41 so you’ll have all the details in mind. 

Tell the children that Joseph spent two additional years in prison, after God interpreted the dreams of the baker and butler.  But God had not forgotten Joseph.  He had big plans for  Joseph to lead his family into the protection of Egyptian abundance. (Say this in terms your kids will understand, of course.)  After telling the account (Gen. 41:1-32) leading up to revealing Joseph’s revelation to Pharaoh, move on to these discussion questions:

1.  When God gave Joseph the interpretation of the baker’s and butler’s dreams, what future purpose did He have in mind?  God is not limited as a man and He makes plans into the future.  You do not know everything about God’s purpose for your future, but you do know some things for sure. What are those things?  (Have a discussion here about being faithful through all of life, finding a follower of Christ to marry, working hard in a career that God approves or raising children to be faithful to God.)

2.  Why do you think God had Pharaoh dream about cows and ears of grain instead of just having him dream about years of plenty and of famine in Egypt?  How did God make a picture in Pharaoh’s mind so that this dream would be “stuck” in his head? Tell your children the cows were sacred, like gods or idols, to the Egyptians. Imagine how shocked Pharaoh would have been to dream about sacred cows being eaten up! God is brilliant! 

3.  In 41:16, after Pharaoh had invited Joseph to interpret the dreams about the cows and grain, Joseph again gave full credit to God, not himself. You should practice doing that now so that it will be a natural thing to speak of God’s will and blessings in your life for all your lifetime.  What important blessings in your life right now can you point to and say, “I didn’t do that. God did.”? When we are staying well, having enough food to last us through this time of sickness, being able to enjoy being with our families at home, who is it that gives us this place to be safe and well? When we are ill, to whom do we pray for strength and healing? Practice asking your children if they are well and healthy. Have them respond “Yes. God has been so good to us…” or “Yes, and we are thanking God..” or “Yes. Praise God.” 

Tonight, have your children make a card for someone they know who is sick in your congregation or neighborhood. Have each child draw a picture and write “We are praying for you…” followed by the words from Genesis 41:16 “God shall give an answer of peace.”  Help those children who can’t yet write. You might write the text out and then have the very young child put his handprint on the card with paint or ink or just draw around his hand.  Be sure to remember to mail these tomorrow.

Remind your children that Joseph was doing something in this chapter that was going to save many lives. 

Pray with your children. Have your children help you make a list of people they know who are sick. Pray for each by name. Remember to pray for all of those people who are sick with COVID. Pray that your family will be healthy both “in our bodies and in our pure hearts.” 

Repeat the Golden Rule with your children.