Browsing Tag


Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Peg Me Here…

Lately I’ve heard a couple of new nomenclatures for those of us who are searching the Scriptures daily and are attempting to apply their principles to the decisions of our personal moral lives. Apparently, that makes us members of “the extreme right subculture of the church.” 

And it makes us serious textual Christians, rather than mere social Christians. 

I mean if I should think that Matthew 5:18 paired with I Timothy 2:9,10 places any responsibility on women to personally enforce, in their own lives, some real standards of modest dress, I’m a part of the subculture. I am more than a social Christian. If I think about and quote verses when engaging in conversation about marriage and divorce, then I’m not what the world views as a “regular Christian.” If I believe that the implications of Philippians 4:8 would have a bearing on what I choose to view on my television or computer, I’ve crossed a line into radicalism. And it’s particularly egregious radicalism if I should ever attempt, in keeping with Titus 2:3-5, to teach another woman any particulars of discretion or chastity or keeping at home. As one man said to me a few days ago “But Cindy, you don’t need to examine passages. Most people don’t get that. Most people are social Christians and they don’t ‘get’ looking at words in the Bible.” 

If looking at the text and trying to figure out how it applies to the very real crossroads to which I come daily in this arduous walk toward heaven is the extreme right subculture of the church (and I do not believe that’s always the belief in our congregations), may I suggest that the church has been absorbed into the larger culture—the world (Romans 12:1,2..see, there I go…trying to apply a text).

I know I shouldn’t be shocked when I’m described as the extreme right in a subculture. But, Biblically, there are two choices that determine all subsequent ones. The choices are succinctly outlined at the bottom of Matthew 7. It’s two regular men who are builders. One builds on the sand and one on the rock. The rock foundation has been claimed by those who hear the sayings of Jesus and do them. The “do them” part means something. If it doesn’t mean that the rock-builder takes seriously the words of Scripture and tries to apply them in situations (when the wind blows and the rains come), then I do not know what it means. Without application, Scripture is rendered meaningless. 

Thanks, but I do not want to be a social Christian. I don’t want to be placed in a category of people who are along on the Christianity journey for the rewarding sense of belonging to a culture. I’ll take the subculture of people who believe Scripture’s Words are inspired, purposeful and directional in everyday situations. The Holy Spirit has worked for thousands of years to accomplish what you and I can open today and read with ease. I’m treasuring His work in every scenario.  The application of the reading is not as easy. It flies in the face of our world of relativism and non-judgmental tolerance of sin. 

Put me down in the subculture column.

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

“I’ve been praying about that.”

Last night, Glenn and I ate our supper on an outdoor patio at an outdoor mall. In the midst of that dinner where we had already commented about the vulgarity of some of the passersby– immodesty in dress and speech, (We were really taken aback by the extreme lack of and transparency of clothing all around us….Glenn even commented, “Do you think soon it’s going to be acceptable to just go without clothing, entirely?”)– we overheard a young couple at the table beside us. The high school or younger college-aged man said to his female friend, “I know. I’ve really been praying about that.” One overheard comment about our God, in a world of messiness from the father of lies, was amazingly encouraging to us. We found a moment later to encourage them. I’m determined to say his name, speak of prayer and blessings, and pass out my little invitation-to-worship cards more consistently. We need to speak His name in public places–not to appear holy, but to be holy and encourage others to holiness; to find ways to inform others of HIS holiness and to lead them to the truth that frees from the one who entangles and tortures. 

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”  1 Peter 1:14-16

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Family Ties in the Social Distance #20: Proverbs 11:1–Business Ethics

My husband, Glenn, is sharing these daily lessons  for our West Huntsville family as we are necessarily (because of the virus) spending less time physically together in worship, study and fellowship. We may be “socially distanced,” but  we’re a close-knit family and we want to keep it that way! One way to stay on track together, spiritually, is to think about a common passage and make applications for our lives together even when we are unable to assemble as frequently. I’m sharing these daily family lessons here for those in other places, whose families (or even congregations) might benefit from a common study in these uncommon days of semi-quarantine. There are Family Bible Time guides included, as well. You can adapt, shorten or lengthen them according to the ages of kids (and adults) in your family. Blessings.

From Glenn:


My Favorite Proverbs:  Practicing Fair Business (Proverb 11:1)

Dishonest scales are an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is His delight.

Norman Rockwell had a famous and humorous painting in which a butcher had his thumb on the top of the meat scales pushing down, and the customer had her finger under the scales pushing up. It was duel-cheating. 

The old scales have been replaced by computers but good, old-fashioned integrity is still often at a premium. This proverb says God pays attention to the business affairs of men.

Honest weights and scales are the Lord’s; all the weights in the bag are His work (Proverbs 16:11).

Diverse weights and diverse measures, they are both alike, an abomination to the Lord (Proverbs 20:10).

You shall not have in your bag differing weights, a heavy and a light. You shall not have in your house differing measures, a large and a small (Deut. 25:13-14).

Are you honest in all your dealings? Jesus put it this way: “But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God’s throne; nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one” (Matt. 5:34-37).

This is clean and simple.  We should adopt it for business practices large and small and every single time.  What I tell a man must always be the truth. I must pay attention as a Christian to the qualities people attach to my name when they hear it.  As with obeying the civil law (Rom. 13:5), I should do this, not merely because of the problems deceit could cause me, but I should do this for “conscience sake”.  My business dealings aren’t merely between men and myself.  They are also between God and me.

“Provide things honest in the sight of all men” (Rom. 12:17, KJV). 

Family Bible Time with Glenn and Cindy

David and Bathsheba (continued)

1.Tonight’s Bible time for teens is an assignment. Take the definitions from Strong’s that we extracted last night and, for tonight just list all of the simple one-word adjectives that come from these definitions. Make this all one list and make it on heavy paper. Artsy girls may want to make it colorful and even use calligraphies. Boys may want to type it. The list should have about 30 adjectives on it and should begin with:



well arranged


Before you have them tack or tape these lists to their closet doors or bathroom mirrors, be sure daughters remember that these words are for help in making decisions when shopping or getting dressed every day.  Stress to boys that they each want to be looking for a girl who cares about this list of words when it comes time for choosing a wife. remember, these are God’s  words; not the words of any Bible class teacher or preacher.

2.Now, for all the children, read and explain 2 Samuel 11:3. This is the verse that tells exactly who the beautiful woman is. Make sure they know the following:

Bathsheba’s husband–Uriah, a man of honor in David’s army.

Bathsheba’s daddy– Eliab, One of David’s 30 warriors (2 Samuel 23:24)

Bathsheba’s grandaddy–Ahithophel. Many people believe this to be the very same Ahithophel who was respected so much that people thought his counsel was straight from God. ( Samuel 16:23)

3. The point you are wanting to make to your children here is that Bathsheba was from a good and well-respected home. She did not need David in any way. She lived in the same neighborhood with the palace.  She had a lot going for her, but she was about to lose her self-respect and her home, because she failed to see the blackness of sin.   The devil always tries to make sin look good. In fact, he wants sin to look better than our blessed lives when we walk in His ways.

4. Finally for tonight, make the children see that David still (in verse 3) could have turned back and not taken Bathsheba for himself. Just because we are tempted to sin does not mean we are already sinning. When we are tempted to sin, we have a choice. We can walk away and not do the wrong thing or we can choose to do the wrong thing.

At this point, turn to James 1:14,15:

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

Explain this progression, as best you can, to children of all ages. Ask them what things we might do to stop ourselves when we want to do the wrong thing. What can we do to make ourselves decide not to do wrong when we really want to do wrong?

Start here and make a list of temptation-busters:

a. Prayer  to God in the moment of temptation…





5. Have your kids repeat the KidSing rule: Do the right thing.

6. Pray with them. Before you pray remind them that Jesus taught us to pray “Lead us not into temptation” (Mt.6:13), and include this in your prayer.




Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Family Ties in the Social Distance #19: Proverbs 7:6-27 & 9:13-18–Chastity

My husband, Glenn, is sharing these daily lessons  for our West Huntsville family as we are necessarily (because of the virus) spending less time physically together in worship, study and fellowship. We may be “socially distanced,” but  we’re a close-knit family and we want to keep it that way! One way to stay on track together, spiritually, is to think about a common passage and make applications for our lives together even when we are unable to assemble as frequently. I’m sharing these daily family lessons here for those in other places, whose families (or even congregations) might benefit from a common study in these uncommon days of semi-quarantine. There are Family Bible Time guides included, as well. You can adapt, shorten or lengthen them according to the ages of kids (and adults) in your family. Blessings.

From Glenn:

My Favorite Proverbs:   Fear Fornication (7:6-27,  9:13-18)

If you take all the warnings against fornication and lasciviousness in Scripture and read them at one sitting you’ll probably be impressed that they are mostly gender-specific. The man has the greatest temptation. In Proverbs 7, a young man who is “devoid of understanding” (7:7) is being counseled on a subject he thinks about often despite knowing little about it.  He’s in danger because the temptation of a seductress is very intense. 

Proverbs not only shows such a woman enticing a man with her clothing (or lack thereof), but also by her flattery.  This isn’t a great compliment for the masculine gender in general, but a man can often be greatly influenced by a women who admires him:

“For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil;” (5:3).

“For the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light; reproofs of instruction are the way of life, to keep you from the evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a seductress” (6:23-24).

Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and call understanding your nearest kin, that they may keep you from the immoral woman, from the seductress who flatters with her words (7:4-5).

In this passage, she did not stop with flattering words.

She wore enticing clothing (vs. 10).

She was loud and strong-willed, as opposed to having a meek and quiet spirit of 1 Pet. 3:4 (vs.11).

She was looking for a man—any man would do (vs. 12).

She kissed him, and made her invitation. In her own words she suggested that there were no strings attached (vs. 13-21). 

Parents need to teach their daughters (and sons for that matter) a sense of discretion instead of allowing them to believe the world’s rhetoric about having the right to dress and act in a tempting manner with impunity and without risking sexual harassment.  Proverbs 11:22 says, “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.”

Think of all the problems in the world which are directly connected to fornication. They include  AIDS, homosexuality, transgenderism, unwanted children, abortion, prostitution, sex trafficking and adultery.  Heeding today’s proverb would heal many of the world’s current ills.  You and I can’t change the world ourselves, but we can influence our children and grandchildren and those in our Bible classes to be what God wants them to be in reference to sexuality.  

Paul described the antithesis of that woman who is like the gold in a pig’s snout.  “…the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Tit. 2:3-5). 

Family Bible Time with Glenn and Cindy:

1. Tonight’s emphasis will be on the fact that God wants His people to wear appropriate clothing. Tell your children that David, while walking on the roof at night, looked down and saw a woman bathing herself. She was beautiful and he wanted to have her. For your younger children, say “David wanted her to come and be like his wife, only she was already somebody else’s wife.” If you have older children, talk here about the sin of lust.

2. For teens: Lust is the desire for that to which you have no right or, said another way, it’s illicit desire. Talk with your teens about how, in God’s perfect plan he made guys to be drawn to the bodies of women. He did that to forever draw husbands and wives together. Talk to them about how the woman who does not wear enough clothes will always cause men to experience desires that are impure; scantily clad women tempt men to lust. This is what happened when David saw Bathsheba bathing. He wanted to have her, sexually. Have your teens use a concordance and read all the passages in the New Testament that contain the word lust. Have them notice which of the verses are about sexual sin and which ones are about general desires for things to which one has no right.

3. For young children, challenge them to think about things they might want (desire) but which would be off limits to them. This is the “simple” concept of lust. It’s a good starting place for them to understand that we must stop ourselves from getting things to which we have no right. It’s the seed of temptation-resistance that you’re planting in their hearts. Here are some examples of things they might suggest:

Cookies in the jar

Breakables on the shelf

Toys that belong to someone else

Waking a sibling to play

Talking when he’s been told to go to sleep

Unbuckling a seat belt while the car is moving

Explain that, when we want to do things that we know are against the rules, we have to stop ourselves from doing those things. We have to be strong and say “No, I can wait until I have permission to do or have this.”

4. For all ages, go back to Genesis 3:6-21. Recount this profound passage to your kids in terms they can understand. Ask them how we know, from this passage that it is important to our God that His people are careful to wear enough clothes. Was the clothing that Adam and Eve made for themselves enough to please God? How do we know this?

5. There is no better time to plant seeds for modesty in dress in children than when they are ages 4-10. If you have girls this age, talk to them, in specifics, starting now about why “mothers” (women) should always wear clothing that covers their thighs, clothing that’s not too tight, that covers their chests, and that covers all of their tummies. This is a great time to have them start noticing those women around them–at the grocery store and the playground– who are not “careful” about what they wear. (It is important, in my judgment, to also tell them that you are making a plan about the way they will dress when they are teenagers and grown-ups; that little girls should just wear what Mama buys/sews for them. I think it’s important for them to come to trust the judgment of you, their mom; their first Titus 2 woman about when some article–a swimsuit or a shorter dress–becomes inappropriate. I do not believe that a swimsuit is inappropriate for a four-year-old, but I do believe it is so for a fourteen-year-old, in public.) Modesty in dress will become second-nature to them as they grow older when you start teaching this very early on. This is also a big part of your being a Titus 2 older woman. After all, you are older than your little girls!

If you have little ones, have them take a clip-art of the human form and make it “have clothes that would please God.” Here’s one of many that can be found by googling human form clipart.

Have your little children draw a mommy face and “beautiful hair” and clothes on this “mommy” (Try to make her look like your mama!) so she will be modest. This is just a great way to help your kids know, from early ages, that God wants us to wear our clothes.

6. If you have teens, have them look at I Timothy 2:9,10 and look up the meanings of the five Greek words in bold below. Assign this for tomorrow night.This is great training. They need to be learning, as teens, to use a Greek lexicon. If you do not have one, we suggest that you download one for your computer or have a hard copy of Strong’s on the bookshelf. Show your teens how to find a word in the lexicon, if they do not already know this. You may need to help them a bit through the day tomorrow as they accomplish this. Tomorrow night, we’ll look at the definitions of these words. like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.

In the case that you don’t have a lexicon or the knowledge yet to use it, here’s the homework already done. Either way, make sure your teens have a copy of these definitions from Strong’s Greek Lexicon for tomorrow night.

modest-κόσμιος kosmios; from 2889 (in its primary sense); orderly, i.e. decorous: — of good behaviour, modest.
AV (2) – modest 1, of good behaviour 1;
well arranged, seemly, modest

propriety-g0127. αἰδώς aidōs; perhaps from 1 (as a negative particle) and 1492 (through the idea of downcast eyes); bashfulness, i.e. (towards men), modesty or (towards God) awe: — reverence, shamefacedness.
AV (2) – shamefacedness 1, reverence 1;
a sense of shame or honour, modesty, bashfulness, reverence, regard for others, respect

moderation-g4997. σωφροσύνη sōphrosynē; from 4998; soundness of mind, i.e. (literally) sanity or (figuratively) self-control: — soberness, sobriety.
AV (3) – sobriety 2, soberness 1;
soundness of mindself-control, sobriety

proper-g4241. πρέπω prepō; apparently a primary verb; to tower up (be conspicuous), i.e. (by implication) to be suitable or proper (third person singular present indicative, often used impersonally, it is fit or right): — become, comely.
AV (7) – become 6, comely 1;
to stand out, to be conspicuous, to be eminentto be becoming, seemly, fit

godliness: g2317. θεοσέβεια theosebeia; from 2318; devoutness, i.e. piety: — godliness.
AV (1) – godliness 1;
reverence towards God’s goodness

Pray with your kids.





Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Sister to Sister: Cycling Out of Pornography Use?

The long and short of it (pun intended) is that the opinions and assertions about modesty are all across the board this time of year as we approach warm days and consider hot vacation spots. But, in truth , surely we must all admit the un-get-around-able truth that, when we wear skimpy, tight and/or revealing clothing, we put godly men in the awkward position of having to “bounce” their eyes to keep their vigil of personal purity of thought. Thus, unless we’d like to have the temptation of lust placed conspicuously before us, we violate the golden rule. At the very least, surely we could agree on that. This violation is occurring…

—whether the passage in I Timothy 2:9,10 is primarily referring to gaudy clothing or skimpy clothing, or both.

—whether or not the exact proper standards of modest dress change from era to era and from culture to culture.

—whether or not God’s definition, for all time, of modesty is prescribed in Old Testament passages about the priesthood. 

—whether or not the men involved have seen a lot of nakedness in their lives.

It’s that last whether or not about which I’d like to make one observation in today’s post. The fact that God made men to be aroused by women who wear very short, very tight, very low-cut or very revealing clothing is simply truth. That’s the reason that, while many women struggle with a temptation to view pornography, the problem will never even approach being as prevalent among women as it is among men. We are wired differently and visual stimuli will always be more exciting to men than to women. 

But is it true that, after men have seen so much near-nakedness or nudity, that they are no longer affected by immodesty?—that it is no longer a temptation for them? (Just get on board this train of thought with me for a moment…)

Isn’t it true that, IF a man could see so many provocatively dressed women that he was no longer tempted to lust, THEN a man who is looking at pornography would lose interest after seeing his quota? Wouldn’t men just cycle out of pornography use if they could see so much and no longer be affected (tempted to lust) by it? If not, why not?

It’s the if-not-why not question of the day. I believe considering this mammoth problem in our society and the relevance of pornography’s ever-tighter grasp on the porn user is helpful in recognizing fallacious reasoning about immodest apparel. The truth is, men do not normally become less interested or aroused by viewing more and more of the “undressed” women that are in public arenas of our country in 2019. As they view more and more they want to view more and more.The data pointing to that conclusion is irrefutable.  

One more relevant point: God placed the response (the sexual desire upon looking) in men for marriage. He’s made the place for that desire’s fulfillment very clear in the Word. The reason (at least one of the important ones) for the desire is that it is glue for a healthy marriage. How long did God intend for men to keep on having this desires–the first five years?…ten?…of marriage. We all know healthy Christian marriages in which the sexual relationship is very strong after fifty-plus years of marriage. The fact is, married Christian men will tell you that they never tire of seeing their unclothed wives’ bodies, even though they have seen them so frequently for so long that they have memorized those bodies. Men do not see so much nudity that it begins to be boring or lose the drawing power God made.

Another relevant question: Why does a woman’s unclothed hand not produce the same result in a man’s mind as her unclothed breast or bottom?   There is a Master-mind behind the design of our sexual attraction. And the Mastermind has commanded our modesty and respect in the use and display of our temples. They are for His glory.               

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Sister to Sister: Q & A–What to Wear with a Brand New Ring?

Question: This one seems to always surface in June….Some seem to have convictions about modesty, but then when it comes time for a wedding, the attire that would be inappropriate in their minds for most occasions, seems to be perfectly acceptable. What gives?

Response: Well, this does seem to be a bit of a rhetorical question. I would be surprised if the one who asked the question doesn’t already have a fairly strong opinion about situational modesty. But, nevertheless, let me just take the time and space today to say that, of course, what’s too skimpy, tight, short, low-cut or revealing under other circumstances is certainly so at a wedding. It has always blown my mind that some women who are big on dressing modestly throughout the teen years have been willing to show cleavage, bare shoulders and/or naked backs when they are the center of attention as the bride in front of so many men just a little while before they are to give themselves to their husbands in the most intimate and holy relationship between two mortal people. I think if I’d had the discretion to cover myself in other situations when the world was undressing, I would want to stay covered just a little while more, till I could present my body to the man who would own it for the rest of our lives together (I Cor. 7:4). I would want to show that man this respect during the wedding ceremony.

And then it also seems that some in the audience at a wedding are comfortable wearing, on that Saturday evening, outfits that are skimpier than anything they would wear the next morning to worship services. I believe that we sadly give the nod to what is culturally correct rather than what is chaste and discreet as commanded in Titus 2.

I think I get more mail about immodest clothing than any other subject I ever address. Two observations come to mind when I think about the interest in this subject. One is that we seem to be constantly asking “How close to immodesty can I get without actually crossing the line into disobedience to the injunction in I Timothy 2?” The other is that as our culture moves more and more toward culturally accepted nakedness, we, as God’s people seem to be comfortable following so long as we stay a little behind the world in our movement into immodesty. Both of these observations make me want to shout the words of Romans 12:2.

I’m glad for some faithful sisters I know who regret what they wore on their wedding night. I’m glad they have sweet and penitent hearts. While I’m sad they’ve had to remove their wedding photos from Facebook or Instagram because they now know the clothing was surely not in conformity to I Timothy 2:9; that it was not taking into account the seriousness of Matthew 5:28, I am still happy for their conviction and the way they have decided to teach their own children about this subject. Their daughters will have fewer regrets.

I am saddest of all for those who have no embarrassment (or “ability to blush” as the Greek word for modesty or shamefacedness, taken literally, puts it in I Timothy 2:9). I am sad for the lack of concern for brothers who, while trying to control their thoughts, will continue to have to battle the temptations that are put in front of them, even in the family of God. In a world where the devil is having a heyday with pornography and fornication, surely God’s daughters could take some responsibility for making the atmosphere in the family of God a safety zone from the temptations caused by immodesty. The fact that the whole world is doing something should have nothing to do with our choices about morality. In fact, I can think of no better way to glorify Him than in this very visible and noticeable distinction of dress.

Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds.