Browsing Tag

Materialism

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Thinking about Big Gifts while the Tree Comes Down…

It happens every year, but it never ceases to amaze me. There are the same old toys and books in my house that are magnets to the children who visit, even drawing them away from the bells and whistles of the shiny new Christmas toys that have scarcely been unwrapped. This is going to sound like a commercial for Matchbox and Mattel and Melissa and Doug, but, wait for it. There may be something, in the old toys that will play with our emotions, too, and from which we may even make spiritual application. 

This Melissa and Doug ice cream store, complete with reusable menus and scoops and all kinds of cones, dishes and toppings, is literally, all year long, in the middle of our walking space, almost as quickly as it’s been put away. This was a gift from cousins Michelle and Abel, and I wish I had a nickel for every wooden ice cream order served from my living room!  Not many days go by, but what a child comes into my kitchen, menu in hand, asking me to check the boxes beside the flavors I’d like to order. Just so it will take a little longer to fill the order, I usually order at least three scoops of various flavors with a topping and a cherry on top. Younger kids learn about sequencing and stacking and colors.  Older ones learn about money and making change, addition and multiplication…and all kids love to run the store. (At Christmas time, we sometimes even let them run a real popsicle shop or operate the little snow-cone machine for the relatives who visit.)

This little tractor pedal car was mine when I was two years old. Because it needs some WD-40, and I was squeak-crazy, I put it under my old silver tree, in a tight little spot. This year it would be so hard to get, that it would stay right there under that tree. But no. That tractor squeaked through my kitchen multiple times daily. A few times, it was even the ice cream delivery truck. (And, no…those old Shiny-Brite ornaments did not all survive.)

Then there are these marble towers that my dad made decades ago. They have been favorites for three generations now. The marbles make a thunder-rumble as they roll down the wooden tracks (Loud is always better!), but I am amazed at how intently and how long the kids watch the marbles. I have to be sure I have these on a big rug, to reduce the noise, and sometimes I even set the tall tower on a cookie sheet or biscuit pan, so the marbles will be contained when they reach the bottom and come rolling out onto the surface. These marbles roll every single time the kids come. (They find their marbles when they arrive, and I just about lose mine!)

I can’t leave out the Jolly Postman books. I highly recommend this little series. They take a fun little while to read, but kids can’t wait to get the next letter; a correspondence that’s been delivered to someone in the story poem, out of a sturdy envelope. There’s an envelope on each page opening of the books. Some have games or puzzles or jokes inside the letters. All are fun surprises. My grandchildren wanted to read the Jolly Postman even on Christmas Day and even though they have heard it over and over. 

At our big family Christmas, I noticed little Ashton in the study playing with old Matchbox cars WHILE we were all in the living room opening gifts. Matchbox and Hot Wheels never get old for little boys of all ages. Tracks for racing are fun, but not necessary. Kids make parking lots and traffic jams and load the cars into larger vehicles. 

Finally, this doll is alternately Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf and the sweet old grandmother. And all three are required every time these cousins get together. They want to know where she is and when I am telling this story to them. As you can imagine, there are all kinds of wardrobe mishaps and they love that silliness. Sometimes the plot goes a bit off-grid.

 

 

 

Oh yes, one more…If you zoom into the tree, you can see a little wooden train. Somehow this train has survived about 38 years. Its cars and logs and bottles and people were collected on birthdays and Christmases in another century (wow…that’s hard to say!) for the little boy who now preaches for the North Jackson church. But that train never “stays put” around that tree. Strewn and scattered and often animated by children who still can make-believe, it often steals the Christmas morning show.

 

Stockings were full and Santa Claus definitely lightened his bag in our living room. All of that was lots of fun. But, as I’m cleaning up the clutter and finding the “left-behinds” it occurs to me that we adults are like children in so many ways. We, too, make mental lists of things we really want. We may not ever put them on the list to mail to Santa, but we think they will make us happy. If I could just replace this old car…If I could get that promotion…If I could buy, instead of renting…If I had those sneakers or that new i-phone….

In my own life, I think back to the first Christmas I was married. I made aprons for all the female relatives for Christmas. I made them from the same brown floral fabric (discarded by someone else) from which I had made the little cafe’ curtains for that little two bedroom house we purchased for 17K.  One of those aprons came back to me last year when my sweet mother-in-law went to a place where there are no messes to clean. Hannah has it now. (And we went into debt to buy that house. We did not know Dave Ramsey.) I saved my Corn Flakes boxes to wrap my gifts in. My sofa was that classic old “velour-y” wagon wheel and wheat, brown and orange, overstuffed specimen, that someone had discarded from the seventies. We were actually making payments to the antiques dealer, across the highway, for the bed on which we were sleeping. 

I probably wished for more and better. I probably had a “Santa list” a mile long and most of the things on that list, I am enjoying today. But, when the real measure of satisfaction and contentment is examined—when I really take stock of my happiness quota—well, I cannot say that I am happier today than I was in that little house in Henderson, Tennessee, all those years ago. Things aren’t the measure. New things aren’t the treasure that we think they will be. In fact, my favorite things (except for my kids and grandkids) are the same things I had then. I had that old Dickson Bible that my mother and dad gave me upon graduation, from which I was learning sustaining truths. I had my Mother’s Titus 2 wisdom in my daily life—I mean just whenever I asked! How I miss that favorite thing! I had a godly husband who was preaching the Word. I had confidence in salvation and correction in Scripture. I prayed to heaven from that bed we had purchased from Mrs. Frye on credit. I had 24/7 extended credit, from the Christian banker in that little town, just in case we had emergencies (and we did, sometimes.) I had a godly woman in that town, who would have given me anything—ANYTHING—I needed, if she had it or could get it. I had children to teach in that local church and I had Mrs. Lora Laycook, who taught me to teach them. I had warmth in that little house and a big yard in which all our elders would come and eat homemade ice cream. I had a little dog named Nicodemus and 50 high school kids who thought my house was was theirs. Their parents lived in some nice, big houses, but they always seemed to want to be in my old teeny one, instead. 

I am not more content today than I was then. I am, metaphorically, still playing with the toys that I’ve had all along. It’s not the granting of the material wishes that brings joy. It’s the discovery that there are some important staple tractors and books and marble towers that I’ve had all along. 

As Glenn and I ponder what life looks like at 66, we are amazed and we are reflectively peaceful. It’s busy. It’s chaotic. It’s demanding. I can’t find time to make curtains any more, or take care of little Nicodemuses or big youth groups. There are other little hearts that have stolen mine…and my time. There are women who study with me and I am pushed to keep up with the dig. There are travels that require thought and preparation for presentations. There are wonderful new women who need to know the gospel.There are simply new things around every turn. But it’s the things we’ve had all along that are sustaining us. It’s the basic things that are never under the Christmas tree or purchased with green or plastic. And I find myself going to the basics, for this sustenance, even while the new things are being unwrapped. 

It’s these things, even more than any classic toy, that I want to be sure are always in every room where family gathers. Wisdom from years of living, hospitality, the Word, prayer, support of the family in Him, salvation….May I choose these, every single time. 

 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Lessons about our Stuff

In the study of the eighth commandment last month, we noticed several proverbs from that great Bible book of wisdom and made a list of lessons taught about material possessions from them. This week I am reflecting on those. For the past couple of weeks, we have been hard at work moving Glenn’s elderly parents to Huntsville. My nights have been very short and very interrupted. My days are quite full and even chaotically overflowing. Sometimes I think about how difficult it would be to go through challenging days like these if the important things were awry. But the important things are dependable. His providence for my ultimate good is a sure thing (Romans 8:28).  His salvation that is my light at the end of every tunnel is a guarantee (1 John 1:7). His way of deliverance from every trial is already mapped out (1 Corinthians 10:13). His ability to care for me while caring for you, too (and all of His children) is never in jeopardy (1 Peter 5:7). Material things are not enduring and they are not endearing. He is faithful. As I enter His throne room with my cares, I know He is listening to Jesus interceding for me. May I thus use every material blessing (and they are so many and so individualized to me) for spiritual good.

Here are twenty of those Proverbs lessons. Thanks to Kim Chalmers. This list is mine and Kim’s combined. 

  1. Don’t worry about keeping up with the Joneses  (12:9; 13:7).
  2. The Lord loves those who are generous with the poor (28:11).
  3. Hard work and good decision-making usually lead to increased material prosperity (10:4).
  4. Money is inferior to righteousness (16:8; 28:6).
  5. Your good name is what people will remember; not your wealth (22:1).
  6. Be above board and ethical in business (15:27).
  7. Don’t have a false sense of security in your wealth (18:11).
  8. Work arms us against both poverty and covetousness in God’s economy (6:10-11; 10:4-5; 13:11; 14:3).
  9. Durable riches are better than gold (8:18,19; 13:7; 28:6; Luke 12:21).
  10. Material riches stop bearing any profit at the time of death (11:4).
  11. Covetousness and violence often accompany each other (11:16).
  12. Sometimes people act rich when they are really just covetous (12:9).
  13. It is not wrong to save for your children (13:22).
  14. Greed (selfishness) makes for trouble in the home (15:27).
  15. There is no peace in ill-gotten gain (16:8).
  16. Get-rich-quick schemes don’t work (28:22; 21:5).
  17. Debt steals freedom ( 22:7).
  18. God can provide for needs of people even through wickedness of men (28:8).
  19. Riches and pride are often partners (28:11).
  20. Women can add honor to their husbands by being prudent with finances (31:11).

Hope you’re ready to dig into the ninth commandment during May. These last commands are a great place to find contentment in our souls and peace with the people in our circles of influence. 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Family Ties in the Social Distance #32: Proverbs 13:25–Being Satisfied

My husband, Glenn, is sharing these daily lessons  for our West Huntsville family as we are necessarily (because of the virus) spending less time physically together in worship, study and fellowship. We may be “socially distanced,” but  we’re a close-knit family and we want to keep it that way! One way to stay on track together, spiritually, is to think about a common passage and make applications for our lives together even when we are unable to assemble as frequently. I’m sharing these daily family lessons here for those in other places, whose families (or even congregations) might benefit from a common study in these uncommon days of semi-quarantine. There are Family Bible Time guides included, as well. You can adapt, shorten or lengthen them according to the ages of kids (and adults) in your family. Blessings.

From Glenn:      

My Favorite Proverbs: Being Satisfied (Prov.13:25). 

“The righteous eats to the satisfying of his soul, but the stomach of the wicked shall be in want.”

Look at today’s proverb from two perspectives:

First, ultimately God will bless the righteous, but not the wicked.  “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled” (Matt. 5:6).  The judgment day scene will involve both kinds of people:

“Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world… ““Then He will also say to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels” (Matt. 25:34, 41).

Second, the righteous learn the secret of contentment.  Paul wrote

“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:11-13). 

This is contentment with what we have.  This passage wouldn’t prohibit my wanting to do better, or my striving for excellence, but rather it insists that I can be content NOW.  Sadly, those years I spend wishing things were different, may turn out to the be the best years of my life.  

We all know the twenty-third Psalm which includes, “…my cup runs over…” (Psa. 23:5).  How much of that wonderful emotion has to do with a healthy view of God’s great blessings in my life and resisting comparisons of myself with others who have more material goods?

I’ve often appreciated the spirit of Esau (who obviously had his faults) when he finally came face to face with his younger twin, Jacob. Jacob offered him a great gift of livestock as an appeasement for bygone wrongs.  Esau declined the gift and said, “I have enough” (Gen. 33:9).  

Today, pray a well considered prayer in which you ask for nothing; a prayer simply to count your blessings in gratitude to the One who gave them.

Family Bible Time with Glenn and Cindy:

Tonight, take the time to watch this video, created for a Lads to Leaders entry by some of the young folks at the West Corinth church in Corinth, Mississippi. I think your kids (of all ages) will enjoy it. Then discuss the long-suffering nature of the father in the parable and compare Him to the heavenly Father. Discuss how very much David needed/wanted the grace of this Father.

Mention also that it’s a great thing when we can teach the Bible though role-playing. We’re grateful to many children and teens who are frequently doing this.

Pray with your children.

 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

“When all the People Are in Church…”

Tonight’s the Digging Deep podcast (http://new.livestream.com/whcoc/for-women). Be sure to join in and comment. The results are better when you participate, of course. I’m looking forward to this, the first podcast of a brand new decade—a discussion of glory from 1 Samuel. There’s been a lively discussion about Hannah’s vow on the group page, so we’ll comment a bit about that. 

While shopping on Saturday in a very crowded home goods/clothing store, I was navigating my cart around another customer. We had this short conversation. She began with a frustrated tone: 

Her: “I thought surely today would not have been so crowded.” 

Me: “Whoosh!…Seems like everyone’s in here today.”

Her: “Sunday’s the day I should’ve come. When all the people are in church and it’s nice and quiet.” 

Me: “Well, that’s where I’ll be tomorrow.”

Her: “Yep….That’s when I should come back.” 

How sad that there are those living in a country so permeated with the gospel; a country where there’s a Bible in almost every hotel room and multiple Christ-confessing churches meeting in almost every little town—how sad that there are those in our community who view the Lord’s Day as merely a great time to go to the store while “everyone’s at church.” It says something good about our community…that at least there are lots of folks who are attempting to honor God in some way, in truth or in misguided good will, on Sunday mornings. It says something very sad about my fellow-shopper. The benefit she is deriving (or at least the one she is recognizing) from the cross is a stress-free shopping morning every seven days. It’s kind of  like my tossing a heavy platter of pure gold in the dumpster and feeling relieved that I’ve decluttered—only the “clutter” that my friend saw in Christianity is infinitely more valuable. 

I hope your resolve this year includes using the most valuable possession you have. I hope you will be digging in the Word. Your search for treasures that will outlive you doesn’t have to be in our Digging Deep group. But its accountability and fellowship is very helpful. Visit here to get started on the January study today: https://thecolleyhouse.org/digging-deep-2019-2020. Or open up the Book on your own and bask in the blessings for yourself and your family. 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Sister to Sister: Motherhood for His Glory

(Sometimes there’s a fun re-run that we like to read again. This time the re-run, for Mother’s Day, is one of the most controversial archival editions. It’s not for fun, but it’s for the children that I want to keep saying (even though I know my voice is a small one) the things that  are hard to think about in our world of heightened sensitivities. Children still need all the same things they needed a generation ago or even a hundred generations ago,  so we should keep repeating truths that are timeless, but nevertheless, may offend the culture.  I never want to  purposefully offend. I pray today’s post does not offend, at all, but rather is helpful to someone–maybe someone young, who still has some monumental decisions in front of her. May she make them for His glory! So here:

 

As I travel around and speak for various ladies seminars, I am extremely blessed to meet moms of all ages who share with me nuggets of wisdom gleaned from years of experience combined with time in the Word. My home and children have been richer as a result of this fellowship and sharing. There have been a few memorable occasions, though, when women have opened their mouths and something really senseless has issued forth. I think these ridiculous observations from mothers have helped me as much or more than the statements of wisdom. When people fail to study His word and make practical applications in their families, spiritual stupidity ensues. In the presence of women who seem to be clueless about spiritual priorities and biblical motherhood, the wisdom of my God and the peace that is mine when I apply his truth in my family is glaring. I am immediately humbled in this situation and thankful that I do not have to rely on my own resourcefulness or wisdom in motherhood. This parent is grateful to have a Parent who is infinitely resourceful and wise and who has revealed His plan for my home. And it’s all in a book I can carry in my purse. What a blessing! I’ve chosen a few real “gems” from my list of The Most Misguided Mom Statements I’ve Ever Heard” to share below. Read them and weep!

“Well, there is that one thing…”
I was speaking at a ladies seminar one afternoon on the topic of “Keeping our Families from Worldliness.” After my presentation, a sixty-something lady came up to the front of the room, expressed her appreciation for the lecture, and then went on to say how very blessed she and her husband had been in their family. Her children had all reached adulthood and they had never caused a single minute’s problem for her and her husband. They were now raising beautiful children of their own, maintaining a close relationship with the grandparents and actively leading in their careers and communities. I told her how proud I was for her and just sort of incidentally asked where those young families live and worship. She told me the communities in which they live and then I pursued the second question, since I had some knowledge of one of those communities. “Which congregation do they attend?” I asked.

“Well, there is that one thing,” she responded. “None of my children are faithful to the Lord.”

So many responses would have been appropriate at this juncture, but I was speechless. I was so amazed at the casual way she interjected that tragic statement about the spiritual depravity of her family that I was at a loss for words. The dropping of my jaw and an “I’m so sorry,” was about all I could manage. I wanted to say, “Lady, that is the only one thing that matters,” or “Ma’am, did you realize that all of your children are living their lives in utter and complete failure?!” Paul talked about one thing that was important. He said “…this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind me and reaching forward to those things that are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13,14).”

Jesus told Martha that one thing was needful and that Mary had chosen that one thing (Luke 10:42). Perhaps He said it best, though, when He said, “What doth it profit a man if he should gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” (Matthew 16:26).

I wish I didn’t have to work…
I drove up to a fabulous house in a high-end neighborhood where I would be staying while speaking in the area. I walked through beautifully decorated rooms, past an entertainment center and shelves of videos. I said hello to two well-dressed young children and went upstairs to the beautiful guest room where I would be sleeping. The next morning when I awoke, I peered out the window at a fenced, park-like backyard complete with a full-scale playground. I went downstairs for some orange juice and began to converse at the kitchen bar with my hostess. Somehow in the conversation we got on the subject of stressed and busy lifestyles. In this context came the unbelievable statement I hear so often: “I wish I didn’t have to work, so I could stay home and raise my children.”

Now I’ve heard many variations of this statement. Kids have said it to me like this: “My mom would like to stay home with me, but she says if she stays home, we can’t have our pool…or new house…or whatever goes in the blank.”

There is a way to get past this amazingly materialistic mentality. Go on a mission trip to Zambia or Argentina. Listen to children talk about digging in fields for rats to eat or spend a couple of weeks where there are no adequate sewage systems, no hot water and goat head is listed on the entrée list at eating establishments. I could go on, but the point is all too obvious. We are so rich in America that we’ve come to include the “posh” in our lists of basic necessities. Our children are often bringing us shame, because they have grown up in worlds of instant gratification; worlds void of guidance and nurture. “A child left to himself brings his mother shame (Prov.29:15).” We, like that rich young ruler, will continue to reap sorrow when we allow our possessions to own us rather than the other way around.

“He went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.” (Matt. 19:22)

“We like to save our ‘no’s.”
I was sitting in a close friend’s kitchen when I decided to ask her if she was concerned about some of the entertainment choices her thirteen year old was making. The media choices of this kid were definitely uncharacteristic of the godly values of his parents. The answer: “We don’t like these choices, but we like to save our ‘no’s for the big things. We feel if we say no all the time, then our prohibitions will be less effective when it comes to some big issue like sex or drugs.”

Practicing the ‘no’s with seemingly small matters is the way kids catch on to the fact that “no” means “no”. It’s the way they assimilate the information that Mom and Dad care enough about them to monitor, direct and guard them, even when it requires time and attention to detail. In short, keeping a watch over the small things and demanding compliance in them is the only way to insure respect when it matters most. Saving our ‘no’s as parents will yield a big bunch of saved-up ‘no’s when our kids need them most, but saved-up ‘no’s, like old kitchen spices, have lost their potency. Kids need practice with restrictions. They have to listen when you say “Stay on the sidewalk,” so later they will listen when you say, “Stay away from drugs.” This constant listening practice is essential for ultimate spiritual success. “Cease listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge” (Proverbs 19:27).

The list goes on. I’d love to have space to comment on the absurdity of statements like “ I wish my thirteen year old would ______________, but I have asked her and she just says ‘no’.” (Is she sleeping under your roof and eating at your table?! ) Another unbelievable one is “Okay, so she is having sex. Let’s get some birth control,” or the frequent “We let our kids go to the dances,” or “see all the movies with their friends,” or “wear the current fashions” (or whatever compromising activity it may be). “After all, we don’t want them to grow up thinking Christianity is a burden.” (Never mind the fact that Jesus called discipleship a yoke and a burden [Matt.11:29,30]).

Parenting is not for the weak. Giving birth, changing diapers, feeding and clothing are all the easy parts. The real challenge is to consistently place the ammunition of respect for the Will of God into the hearts of little people who will soon face the Goliaths of worldliness and corruption that plague our society. We cannot raise our children on permissive fences in which we give the nod to Christianity while we let them enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season (Heb.11:25). They will inevitably fall on the wrong side of that fence and the short season of pleasure will turn to years of the wretched heartache of sin. God empowers us through His Providence and His Word. But we must be diligent parents (Deut.6:6,7), attending to the details of the day to day obstacles the devil places in our paths. Successful parenting is never an accident.

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Sister to Sister: Oikouros. Do You Do This? (Conclusion)

As this series concludes, please remember that I understand there are those moms who’d like to do this oikouoros thing, but can’t. We should help such women in any way that we can to get to the goal. Some readers may say that I cannot understand, because I lived in a world in which my husband prioritized my staying at home or because I was able to have many luxuries and still  be at home with my children during those formative years. I know that I have been very blessed and there is some truth to those objections. I have to work every day to honor Him with blessings and to be sure I am not taking them for granted as if He owes me something. At the same time, I hope we‘ve picked up on the fact that the injunction to be oikouros is an inspired teaching conveyed in a word in Titus 2 and multiple times in concept form throughout Scripture. We will always suffer spiritually when we look to the world’s decision-making standards rather than the expressed will of our Creator.

One afternoon, I was driven up to a fabulous house in a high-end neighborhood where I would be staying while speaking in the area. I walked through beautifully decorated rooms, past a well-stocked entertainment center. I said hello to two very well-dressed young children and their dad, who was taking off his tie from a busy workday. I went upstairs to the beautiful guest bed and bath where I would be sleeping. The next morning, when I awoke, I peered out the window at a fenced, park-like backyard complete with a full playground with all the bells and whistles. I went downstairs for some orange juice and began to converse across the granite kitchen bar with my hostess. 

Somehow in that conversation, we moved to the topic of stress and the busy world in which we live. In this context, came the words that still make me sad when I remember that morning. I’ve heard the words many times since then. Sometimes the words are truth and that is sad. But sometimes they are words spoken, not of conviction of conscience, but more for a hurting conscience’s comfort. Her words were “I wish I did not have to work, so I could just stay home and raise my children.”

One day a child said the words to me this way: “ My mom would like to stay home with me, but she says that if she stays home, we can’t have our pool.” A variety of amenities have completed the sentence in different situations: “our new house” or “my private education” or “our trips to Disney”. 

There is a way to get past this amazing perspective. Go on a mission trip to Zambia or Argentina or Columbia or Tanzania or Haiti or any of the hundreds of poverty-stricken places in our world. Listen to children tell you about digging for rats to eat. Take cold showers and realize the hard way that there are no adequate sewage systems. Notice that goat head or turkey tail is a coveted entree, depending on your location.

I could go on, but the point is all too obvious. We are so rich in these United States that we have come to include luxuries in our lists of necessities. Our children are sometimes bringing shame on our families because they have grown up in worlds of instant gratification; worlds void of guidance, nurture, family Bible times, and deep family prayer. “A child left to himself brings his mother shame” (Proverbs 29:15). We, like the rich young ruler, have a lot going on materially, but we will continue to reap sorrow when we allow our possessions to own us rather than the other way around. 

“He went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions” (Mt. 19:22).