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Holiday Contest

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Winning Holiday Contest Entry: Elder’s Bowtie Gets “Misplaced”!

The Colley House congratulates Tracy Parsons of Erwin, Tennessee,  for submitting the winning entry in the Holiday contest. Picturing this communion scene made the judges laugh out loud. Tracy gets to choose $50.00 worth of materials from Read her submission and then a couple of submissions that receive an honorable mention today!

One of our elders was teaching bible class Sunday morning and he clipped his mic on his shirt (but never actually turned it on) and made it through his entire introduction before someone raised their hand to announce that they couldn’t hear anything that he had said. In good humor, he thanked them for not waiting until the lesson was finished. He turned the mic on and then walks up to the front pew to pick something up. His mic comes unclipped from his shirt (the battery box is still attached at his waist) and the mic itself is dangling between his legs making loud noises every time the mic comes in contact with the pew, his pants etc. Someone raised their hand to inform him that once again they couldn’t hear what he was saying and once he located the mic, he reclips the mic to his shirt. He immediately tells us about the time that he was a young man wearing a white clip on tie while serving the Lord’s Supper. He was so focused on his position of serving that he didn’t even noticed that his bow tie had slipped down and was clipped between his legs on the front of his pants. He wasn’t sure what to do in a situation like that, leave it be or move it back up only to draw more attention to himself.

I love this elder dearly and he has truly made a difference in my life. I could never express to him how much I appreciate his service to the Lord and the impact that he’s made on the Lord’s Church. He is a wonderful man!

You have to commend a great leader that can still hold it together even when mics and bowties don’t cooperate. 

Honorable mention goes to Gail Walker for this submission about a Sunday School song request. Little people sometimes  innocently cause good teachers some consternation.

I always taught young children in Sunday school. I would begin the class going around the table asking each child to suggest a song.  One bright Sunday morning one of our members brought her granddaughter. We were going around the table and when her turn came, she thought for a moment and then said, “I like ‘She Thinks My Tractor’s sexy,’”.  For a moment I did not know what to say. And then I said, “ How about we sing Jesus Loves Me?”  She said K and we went on.

And finally, Honorable Mention to M. Vines. She made a splash with this baptism story.

Our congregation was about 50 members strong and another was about to be added. The man being baptized was considerably larger than the preacher. As the preacher slowly lowered the man into the water he got off balance, dropped the man, and almost went under with him! There were several reactions in the audience: gasps, cringes, and literal laughs out loud from a light hearted bible school teacher (who happens to be my mother). Everyone recovered just fine and at least we know he was fully immersed!


Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

The Annual Holiday Contest…Win $50 in gifts of your choice at TCH!

Okay, this is going to be fun! Maybe you’ve noticed that this year’s holiday special at the Colley House  is for shepherds in the body. All five items in the bundle are designed to help men grow into becoming  great elders in the Lord’s church or to help existing shepherds to grow in wisdom that comes from the scriptures. The bundle is a very nice gift for any elder in the body or a very useful addition to your church library. Each item in the package is a great individual gift for any Christian man, young or old, as well (so it’s really five gifts in one). You can read about this 40%-off special here:

This year’s contest is in the same vein. I know you have some good stories here. Send us your favorite funny story about a leader in the church. It can be about one of your elders, one of your ministers, or one of your Bible class teachers. It can be one of those “this-should-never-happen-in-a-worship service”  moments or it can be the one about “my husband.the minister who forgot…” I know the cogs are already turning.  Please be sure it’s something we can publish on the blog. If you need to change or omit names (to protect the blundering), be sure to do that. No one is exempted from entering (unless you are actually an admin on our website!). 

Send us your entries by December 15th at noon to The winning entry will receive a $50.00 gift certificate good for any Colley House products. The best entries will be published.

So let us hear from you. Share some holiday cheer. Here’s my story:

When I was a child, we had an elder in the congregation who just had a hard time talking in front of a large audience. Our congregation changed the order of exactly what was done prior to eating the Lord’s supper. It was decided that we would stand while the scripture was being read that preceded the supper and then remain standing while the prayer was offered in thanksgiving for the bread. (Prior to this particular Sunday we had been standing while reading  and then we all sat down for the prayer.) So this flustered elder, as he presided at the table said this, following the Bible reading:

“Cease be pleated…uh…er…I..I mean restain manding.” 

Or, I could tell the one about the Sunday school teacher (also the minister), who, during the auditorium class, turned around to write on the dry-erase board, revealing that his wife was needing to get to the store to get those BOUNCE sheets for the dryer.  Red panties were stuck on the back of his shirt. 

Or, I could mention the time my husband was preaching and using an illustration about family reunions. He said this: “I love family reunions. I especially love to see all the new babies and the young children running around. It gives me such a feeling of immorality.” (He actually meant to say “immortality”.) 

I could go on. But so could you! So send us the submissions. Have a great Monday!