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Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Family Ties in the Social Distance #19: Proverbs 7:6-27 & 9:13-18–Chastity

My husband, Glenn, is sharing these daily lessons  for our West Huntsville family as we are necessarily (because of the virus) spending less time physically together in worship, study and fellowship. We may be “socially distanced,” but  we’re a close-knit family and we want to keep it that way! One way to stay on track together, spiritually, is to think about a common passage and make applications for our lives together even when we are unable to assemble as frequently. I’m sharing these daily family lessons here for those in other places, whose families (or even congregations) might benefit from a common study in these uncommon days of semi-quarantine. There are Family Bible Time guides included, as well. You can adapt, shorten or lengthen them according to the ages of kids (and adults) in your family. Blessings.

From Glenn:

My Favorite Proverbs:   Fear Fornication (7:6-27,  9:13-18)

If you take all the warnings against fornication and lasciviousness in Scripture and read them at one sitting you’ll probably be impressed that they are mostly gender-specific. The man has the greatest temptation. In Proverbs 7, a young man who is “devoid of understanding” (7:7) is being counseled on a subject he thinks about often despite knowing little about it.  He’s in danger because the temptation of a seductress is very intense. 

Proverbs not only shows such a woman enticing a man with her clothing (or lack thereof), but also by her flattery.  This isn’t a great compliment for the masculine gender in general, but a man can often be greatly influenced by a women who admires him:

“For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil;” (5:3).

“For the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light; reproofs of instruction are the way of life, to keep you from the evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a seductress” (6:23-24).

Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and call understanding your nearest kin, that they may keep you from the immoral woman, from the seductress who flatters with her words (7:4-5).

In this passage, she did not stop with flattering words.

She wore enticing clothing (vs. 10).

She was loud and strong-willed, as opposed to having a meek and quiet spirit of 1 Pet. 3:4 (vs.11).

She was looking for a man—any man would do (vs. 12).

She kissed him, and made her invitation. In her own words she suggested that there were no strings attached (vs. 13-21). 

Parents need to teach their daughters (and sons for that matter) a sense of discretion instead of allowing them to believe the world’s rhetoric about having the right to dress and act in a tempting manner with impunity and without risking sexual harassment.  Proverbs 11:22 says, “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.”

Think of all the problems in the world which are directly connected to fornication. They include  AIDS, homosexuality, transgenderism, unwanted children, abortion, prostitution, sex trafficking and adultery.  Heeding today’s proverb would heal many of the world’s current ills.  You and I can’t change the world ourselves, but we can influence our children and grandchildren and those in our Bible classes to be what God wants them to be in reference to sexuality.  

Paul described the antithesis of that woman who is like the gold in a pig’s snout.  “…the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Tit. 2:3-5). 

Family Bible Time with Glenn and Cindy:

1. Tonight’s emphasis will be on the fact that God wants His people to wear appropriate clothing. Tell your children that David, while walking on the roof at night, looked down and saw a woman bathing herself. She was beautiful and he wanted to have her. For your younger children, say “David wanted her to come and be like his wife, only she was already somebody else’s wife.” If you have older children, talk here about the sin of lust.

2. For teens: Lust is the desire for that to which you have no right or, said another way, it’s illicit desire. Talk with your teens about how, in God’s perfect plan he made guys to be drawn to the bodies of women. He did that to forever draw husbands and wives together. Talk to them about how the woman who does not wear enough clothes will always cause men to experience desires that are impure; scantily clad women tempt men to lust. This is what happened when David saw Bathsheba bathing. He wanted to have her, sexually. Have your teens use a concordance and read all the passages in the New Testament that contain the word lust. Have them notice which of the verses are about sexual sin and which ones are about general desires for things to which one has no right.

3. For young children, challenge them to think about things they might want (desire) but which would be off limits to them. This is the “simple” concept of lust. It’s a good starting place for them to understand that we must stop ourselves from getting things to which we have no right. It’s the seed of temptation-resistance that you’re planting in their hearts. Here are some examples of things they might suggest:

Cookies in the jar

Breakables on the shelf

Toys that belong to someone else

Waking a sibling to play

Talking when he’s been told to go to sleep

Unbuckling a seat belt while the car is moving

Explain that, when we want to do things that we know are against the rules, we have to stop ourselves from doing those things. We have to be strong and say “No, I can wait until I have permission to do or have this.”

4. For all ages, go back to Genesis 3:6-21. Recount this profound passage to your kids in terms they can understand. Ask them how we know, from this passage that it is important to our God that His people are careful to wear enough clothes. Was the clothing that Adam and Eve made for themselves enough to please God? How do we know this?

5. There is no better time to plant seeds for modesty in dress in children than when they are ages 4-10. If you have girls this age, talk to them, in specifics, starting now about why “mothers” (women) should always wear clothing that covers their thighs, clothing that’s not too tight, that covers their chests, and that covers all of their tummies. This is a great time to have them start noticing those women around them–at the grocery store and the playground– who are not “careful” about what they wear. (It is important, in my judgment, to also tell them that you are making a plan about the way they will dress when they are teenagers and grown-ups; that little girls should just wear what Mama buys/sews for them. I think it’s important for them to come to trust the judgment of you, their mom; their first Titus 2 woman about when some article–a swimsuit or a shorter dress–becomes inappropriate. I do not believe that a swimsuit is inappropriate for a four-year-old, but I do believe it is so for a fourteen-year-old, in public.) Modesty in dress will become second-nature to them as they grow older when you start teaching this very early on. This is also a big part of your being a Titus 2 older woman. After all, you are older than your little girls!

If you have little ones, have them take a clip-art of the human form and make it “have clothes that would please God.” Here’s one of many that can be found by googling human form clipart.

Have your little children draw a mommy face and “beautiful hair” and clothes on this “mommy” (Try to make her look like your mama!) so she will be modest. This is just a great way to help your kids know, from early ages, that God wants us to wear our clothes.

6. If you have teens, have them look at I Timothy 2:9,10 and look up the meanings of the five Greek words in bold below. Assign this for tomorrow night.This is great training. They need to be learning, as teens, to use a Greek lexicon. If you do not have one, we suggest that you download one for your computer or have a hard copy of Strong’s on the bookshelf. Show your teens how to find a word in the lexicon, if they do not already know this. You may need to help them a bit through the day tomorrow as they accomplish this. Tomorrow night, we’ll look at the definitions of these words. like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.

In the case that you don’t have a lexicon or the knowledge yet to use it, here’s the homework already done. Either way, make sure your teens have a copy of these definitions from Strong’s Greek Lexicon for tomorrow night.

modest-κόσμιος kosmios; from 2889 (in its primary sense); orderly, i.e. decorous: — of good behaviour, modest.
AV (2) – modest 1, of good behaviour 1;
well arranged, seemly, modest

propriety-g0127. αἰδώς aidōs; perhaps from 1 (as a negative particle) and 1492 (through the idea of downcast eyes); bashfulness, i.e. (towards men), modesty or (towards God) awe: — reverence, shamefacedness.
AV (2) – shamefacedness 1, reverence 1;
a sense of shame or honour, modesty, bashfulness, reverence, regard for others, respect

moderation-g4997. σωφροσύνη sōphrosynē; from 4998; soundness of mind, i.e. (literally) sanity or (figuratively) self-control: — soberness, sobriety.
AV (3) – sobriety 2, soberness 1;
soundness of mindself-control, sobriety

proper-g4241. πρέπω prepō; apparently a primary verb; to tower up (be conspicuous), i.e. (by implication) to be suitable or proper (third person singular present indicative, often used impersonally, it is fit or right): — become, comely.
AV (7) – become 6, comely 1;
to stand out, to be conspicuous, to be eminentto be becoming, seemly, fit

godliness: g2317. θεοσέβεια theosebeia; from 2318; devoutness, i.e. piety: — godliness.
AV (1) – godliness 1;
reverence towards God’s goodness

Pray with your kids.





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