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Forgiveness

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Guest Writer, Kelli Gough: Finding the Way Back Home

Posted on June 4, 2025

It’s very painful when I frequently hear of young girls—girls who have become influential in lots of good ways for the kingdom—walking away from that influence, even reversing it, while stepping into the deathly entrapment of the devil. He (Satan) is so very good at what he does. He’s diligent and subversive; a master of deceit. In fact, he is the original ancestor of every lie. He makes girls question the validity of the things that have been diligently placed in their hearts from young ages. Then he loves to put into place, in new jobs, school situations, and friend groups, people who stroke the ego while presenting rebellion as deserved “self-awareness and authenticity.”  He makes the girls devalue or trivialize the soul and the eternal, instead placing an emphasis on their own intelligence and self fulfillment. While he is doing this in the mind, he is doing other things in the body—creating addictions to sex, to alcohol, to drugs, to gaming, to drugs, etc…. This replacement of the pure heavenward focus diminishes, often permanently, the propensity in the young life for spiritual recovery. The devil gets his hook in. Somewhere in the back of her mind, his victim thinks, “I can fix all this later. I’m so young and there is plenty of time. For now, I can feel secure in these decisions…. I feel loved by this guy…. I feel stabilized by this job…. I feel like I am finally doing something I want to do… I need to experience some normal things,” etc…etc…. So many Bible characters come to mind as I think about this mentality—Dinah (Genesis 34) , Samson , (Judges 14), the prodigal of Luke 15. 

Recently Kelli came back from wondering outside the house of her Father.I’ve been praising God for this return. She’s in her mid-thirties now and she is a very faithful member of the kingdom. Recently, when I was asked to speak to teen girls about the sad journey many “princesses” are making away from the “palace” of God, I asked Kelli to write something to these girls; a letter that would make them know the seriousness of leaving and emphasize the difficult, but oh-so-blessed way back. I love Kelli for many things, I especially love her for the heart she has now for souls, and the gratitude she has to the Father for giving her time and grace to be back in the safe place that is His eternal kingdom. I love my Father for the long-suffering that waits (1 Peter 3:20).

Here’s her letter. Each time I read it, someone asks for a copy. I’m putting it here, so you can use it for any wandering prodigal you may know. Any one soul brought back is worth more than the whole entropic world and its temporal contents. 

To my fellow princesses,

I am writing as one who has recently returned to the King’s palace after being gone far too long. I never planned to leave; I didn’t make one big decision and storm out dramatically.  Like many of you, I grew up in the church pew every time the doors were open. Church camp, Bible bowl trophies, Summer Youth Series, eventually a Christian college- I looked like a good princess safe in the palace. My guard was down because all these things came easily to me. I was good at being good.

When I got my first job as a teenager I started getting to know people who had never been to the palace that was so familiar to me. They didn’t understand some of my behaviors and I was curious about theirs. They were having fun doing things I had only heard about or seen in movies. It was exciting to rebel. One at a time I started replacing kingdom friends and activities with worldly friends and activities. A double life was forming. I’d still put on my princess crown on Sundays and Wednesdays but it got less enjoyable being in the palace. I was uncomfortable around others in the kingdom because I was hiding so much; I knew I didn’t belong to the King anymore.

Everything that started out fun and exciting became less so over the months and years. I had to keep going further from the palace to get that same feeling as in the beginning. I would still slide into the palace to make appearances and convince everyone I’m fine, but anything beyond one hour a week didn’t fit my new life. I had gone from being a princess to “I can’t be a good princess so I’ll just be a good person” to now “well, I’m not the worst person.”

Luckily my conscience had been trained before all this happened so I knew right from wrong and knew I was choosing wrong. It got hard to look people in the eye or look at myself in the mirror. Occasionally I would feel pricked in the heart and repent and try to return to the palace. It would last until I did one of the “big sins” and I’d be gone again, telling myself I don’t belong with the other princesses and certainly not with the King. The more this happened the harder it got to come back.

In 2023 I got sick and tired of living the double life. I had lost my identity, my true sense of who I was in the world; I didn’t respect who I saw or what I was doing. I knew deep down that my heart’s desire was to return to my Father’s table but I felt so far away and so unworthy, I didn’t know if that was possible. I didn’t want to try again just to fail again. I decided I’d start making small changes, baby steps back to the palace. I was ending bad friendships and breaking habits; I changed jobs and moved to the next town over for a fresh start. Things were looking up but I could not re-enter the palace yet. I still had one hurdle: I had to face my Father again after hiding for much of the last ten years. 

I’ll pause the story here and tell you the smartest thing I did while I was away from the kingdom was keeping in touch with a few kingdom friends. They were long distance and didn’t know what all was happening so that made it less intimidating to keep a casual friendship over time. They remained the link between the life I was living and the life I was called to live. My advice: find 2 kingdom friends: one who is roughly your age and can go through daily life with you, and one who is older and represents who you want to be in 10-20 years. You will always need someone walking beside you and someone walking ahead showing you the way.

One day in a rare moment of vulnerability, I told one of these friends I’m not doing so well spiritually and she told me she was going to pray for me. A few months went by while I still could not face my shame head-on. This was probably the loneliest time. I had a rearview mirror full of broken relationships and was inching toward the palace alone, knowing I want a seat at the table but knowing the Father owes me nothing. For about a month I threw myself into Psalm 51 and Luke 15. David’s confession and repentance became my daily prayer. The prodigal son’s welcome home from the Father transitioned from being a far-away dream to the belief that not only is it possible for me, but it’s the Father’s strongest desire for me. Every day, every year He had been watching, waiting for me to come home. This is the invitation He gives to you and me anytime we stray: Just come home.

Around this time, previously mentioned friend asked for an update. I reported that I wanted to make things right but I was too afraid of failing again. She told me, in essence, stop waiting and die trying. This was the nudge I needed. I thought of David and the prodigal, both pretty good at messing up but both willing to die trying. Both received back by a loving, compassionate father. Both forgiven and able to stand before the throne of God blameless. I went to the Father, repented and confessed all, and was graciously forgiven. I was restored to the local congregation and God restored unto me the joy of His salvation. I have a seat at His table again.

I wish I had never left the palace. I thought I was going out for a little fun and now I have memories I don’t want, stories I hope never resurface, and struggles I may not be free of in this lifetime. I hurt people who cared about me. I wasted years I should have been serving the King. I may have led others to believe it was okay to live with one foot in and one foot out. At any time I could have died outside the palace and been separated from my Father forever.

I hope you never leave. I hope you love God and stay by His side all of your days. But if you find yourself outside the palace, believe with your whole heart that God wants you back, no matter where you have been.  Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

She Thanks You for Praying…

Posted on November 20, 2023

 

Recently, those in the Digging Deep for Encouragement group have been praying for our sister, Tammie. She’s been through a very dark and difficult time in several key areas of her life. There was a loss of her home to a fire, a prolonged illness, a very traumatic situation in her extended family and one in her husband’s family, as well. She recently had five days alone in her house and I encouraged her to spend that time in prayer and the Word. I told her that I knew God could use those days for her healing, if she would use them for His glory. She writes this today, and wanted me to share with you. She is so very thankful for your prayers and covets them in the future days of restoration to what she wants to be for Him.She shares this. I know you will praise with me.

Oh sister Cindy,  

While I was by myself for 5 days God’s word has done some purging . I can say I had hit bottom. God showed me through his Word, that I had begun wandering away from the Fold.  These 3 years of working in the fall, with a friend, cleaning hunter’s houses, I thought I had been sharing my faith with her… and I thought she was going  to change her ways. Now the friendship bond of her worldly ways is cut. God, this week showed me, through the word and through our    DD studies, that I was being led astray; following her, with one foot in the door of the church and one foot out in the world. I was already searching for something when I found lots of programs on youtube and your ladies’ days speaking, too. I didn’t even turn TV on to watch unless at night when I watched gospel meetings. I mostly all day was in the word. A sweet sister called and checked on me a lot and, each time, she could tell I had been crying. Cindy, I can say I was at my begging place. I have written scriptures down and when Satan comes to my thoughts, I will quote them in prayer. Yesterday was so hard.  I finally went to worship being so weak and had no idea what Jim was preaching on. I had written a letter to the congregation asking for my forgiveness, for I had not been there for my brothers and sisters. I was a sheep that had gone astray and the crying was deep. A sister came to me and hugged me and whispered in my ear that I was bold to admit this and she said I inspired her about what true repentance is. Jim had no idea that I was putting on a fake Christian . He got choked up reading my note, so that another man stepped in.  So Jim just came to comfort me. Jim said he saw many tears yesterday. Then I went back last night and, Cindy, the singing in this congregation, to me, was so uplifting. Jim preached on the  words of the song “I am a Poor, Wayfaring Stranger.”  One of the men got up and said, “Can I speak? He did speak, and he said,  “Jim the message tonight of the song was so powerful.” Oh, this right here got me. My Jim was starting to feel that he wasn’t doing a good job there. Now let’s see how God can use me. I have never felt this peace, Cindy.

The sheep is now in the arms of the Shepherd. It’s terrible that it took me down to the bottom to open up my eyes. The truth has set me free. I love you, Cindy.

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Missing Your Charm?

Posted on October 3, 2022

We’ve made one more mistake in the store for Digging Deep swag. Someone just pointed out to me that the bracelet photo on the site has two charms instead of one. If you ordered your bracelet and you just got one charm (a shovel), and you’d like a charm that says either “Blessed” or “Love” or “Faith” to attach, please send me a message at byhcontest@gmail.com and I will pop this in the mail to you. I will attach the double ring, so you can put it on your bracelet easily. This was an oversight on my part. (The bracelets given away at PTP were single charm bracelets and I failed to adjust that when I got home and started mailing them.) Please forgive me and send an email if you need that second charm to complete your digging deep bracelet. Be sure to include your mailing address. Then watch your mail! I really appreciate your help with this, as it would be very difficult, at this point, to try and go back though all those orders and find which bracelets were not double-charmed. 

You diggers are the best and always, with us, you are big on that “long-suffering” fruit of the Spirit. We are big on the “peace” and “joy” ones because you are so good to us. We all are big on those because HE is so good to us. 

I’m praying for our deepest comfort from the Father of mercies as we keep studying together.

And just for a smile, from four-year-old Maggie today:

Maggie apologized for something she did, and her mama told her that she forgave her and it was over. She told her about how God removes our sins and never thinks about them anymore. Maggie said: “Well, sometimes *I* think about my past struggles.”

It’s a conundrum. We all do. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if, when our souls are washed clean because of His wonderful grace and our faithful repentance as His children, we could just forget all the past struggles?  I’m thanking Him this morning that HE does!

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

The Book Does End…

Posted on December 8, 2021

Someone reminded me this morning about  how people came to visit Job– to get Job to repent of sins that he did not have…sins that he had not committed. She said this: “The book does end.”  I’m not sure but what I found more comfort in that little Biblical edification than any in recent times. 

I’ve spent a lot of my adult life trying to get people to repent or repenting myself of the sins that easily beset me. I’ve discussed repentance a hundred times with people who were learning the gospel for the first time. I’ve talked about repentance with couples who were putting marriages back together. I have often struggled with personal sin and gone through the heart process of repentance. I do that personal struggle thing pretty much all the time. But I’ve never spent much time thinking about people who were being encouraged to repent of sins that had not been committed. When I think about Job, I understand that’s a real phenomenon and the book of Job draws my attention to that brand of persecution. Just a few thoughts that come to my mind:

  1. If people say, in any situation, “There’s no innocent party in this,” look at the book of Job. Although he was a man, and thus a sinner, he was completely innocent of the devil’s specific work that brought dire consequences in many innocent lives when “there was a day” (Job 1:6). Sometimes (not always), when sin’s consequences are wreaking havoc, absolutely, positively there are innocent parties.  
  2. Even though Job was innocent in the matter, there were no Job supporters, encouragers, and helpers that we read about. Sometimes, that may still be the case. But there was an Advocate still on the throne in heaven. Job was forced to look to that one Advocate “I know that you can do all things and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted” (Job 42:2). I love that he said that. I always want to say that to the one sure Advocate of the righteous.
  3. I’m quite sure that there were people all around who did not know the full story of the “why” of Job’s suffering. (Even Job himself did not know.) Job was a well-known servant of God and surely there were people who were aghast at his condition— the ashes, the potsherd, the mourning—people who just did not know the back-story of his innocence or who simply didn’t want to/need to know it or become involved. Surely that’s often the case today.  
  4. Job made mistakes as he was suffering. He misunderstood his own suffering. In 12:6-9 he thought God was just letting wickedness have its day. Surely there are still those who wonder how long God will wait before revealing and punishing evil. God had to “reel in”the heart of Job and show His sovereignty and ask Job some questions (Job 38-42). But that did not mean Job was responsible for the devastation in his world. It meant he reacted to the devastation with doubt and despair, emotions that even faithful human beings sometimes experience.  
  5. The book did have an end. There is great comfort in that, if you are being falsely accused. Although, I know I do not have the wisdom of Solomon or the discernment that it takes to always see the innocent suffering ones, I am going to try to remember Job and refuse to be the Bildad, Zophar and Eliphaz who assume the worst and assign blame to the innocent. 

Are there innocent parties in tragic sin situations? Absolutely. There is no generically innocent man or woman before God.  That’s why Calvary occurred. Praise God for Calvary. But it is also true that there are many righteous people who may find themselves in horrific situations caused by the specific sins of other people; not their own. There are absolutely innocent parties who suffer in catastrophic situations caused by sin in lives around them. But, even the sinner who has caused pain and suffering can be forgiven by the precious blood without which we all find ourselves in hopelessness. That’s the best news about the devil and sin. Christ has won the ultimate victory. 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Opposite Directions

Posted on February 22, 2021

 

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

Today I’m traveling south and east to get my arms around some pretty sweet grandchildren, one of which is just under two weeks old. Since tomorrow night’s the podcast and I’ll be doing it live and remotely from a distant location I feel like I’m almost moving mountains to make this trip. 

We are the sandwich generation, so my husband is traveling west and north to do some much needed tasks for elderly parents. He’s moving mountains, too (or at least trying to) after a very long time of their inaccessibility to groceries (and almost everything else) because of extreme cold and ice coverage in their area. 

So last night after worship, we parted, Glenn and I, and began making miles in the exact opposite directions from one another to give hugs to people we love who are at the exact opposites of the spectrum of life. For a good bit of this week, we will be about 12 hours apart from one another. 

When God says he removes my sins and casts them from me as far as the east is from the west, that’s profound. I move, in human increments, as best I can, TOWARD God and my sins are moved in divinely amazing proportions BY God to a far away and irretrievable place in the opposite direction of the one in which I am moving. 

Earlier in the day yesterday, I had a chance to study with a young woman I’m growing to love very much. She asked me about her sins. “When God forgives me, is it impossible for me to ever be lost again? Am I permanently saved?” We went through passages that teach us what to do about sin after the original east-west casting done by God. We talked about Bible characters who did sin impenitently and rebelliously after baptism and what was required for their restoration and subsequent salvation. But we also talked about the continual comfort of 1 John 1:7 for those baptized believers who are walking in the light (doing diligence to be followers of Christ: 

But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.

I explained to her how that the word for “cleansing” here is a verb of continuation. It means “keeps on cleansing.” She got that and she loved it. 

I asked her if she had other questions about the gospel she’s learned in recent days. She said 

“Yes, I have one more….Like, how can I be baptized…because I know I need to.” 

I asked her to explain to me her reasons for wanting to be baptized. She had a little list in her heart. 

“To be born again, to be dead to sin, to be washed from sin, to be saved.” 

I spent the night (or part of it anyway) in a hotel room near Atlanta, Georgia. And I slept soundly with a very grateful heart for the waters of baptism that washed away my friend’s sins yesterday…that removed them from her, as far as the east is from the west. I spoke with three sisters at West Huntsville who are going to check on her while I’m in Florida this week. One of them already invited her to our local Digging Deep study which happens tonight. On this, her first full day of being a Christian, I am praying very hard for her. Yesterday was the best day of her life. But the devil loves to give big challenges to those who are babies in the Lord. 

I’m so glad we serve a God who can put sin wherever he wants it to be; and, barring my choice to be close to sin again, He can keep its guilt far, far away from me…as far as the east is from the west. 

I’m going to spend a few miles today praising Him for this game-changing reality!

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Aaron after the Calf

Posted on October 23, 2020

photo credit: Rebecca Jenkins Richardson

Because you asked: 

Here are the ten observations about Aaron’s “pardon” after the calf incident (in a succinct list):

  1. We may not know the answers, but God gets it right every time (Psa. 19:9)
  2. God used this action of Aaron to teach us the need for our own holy High Priest (Heb.5:1-4).
  3. God had just spent chapters 28-31 saying “The priests will sin, but I will cleanse,” (Heb.5:3;9:7).
  4. Aaron had already been called at the time of the calf-building, but not yet consecrated as priest (Ex.28:7).
  5. Aaron was not exempt from punishment (Nos. 20:12, 24-29)
  6. His penitence seems evident from Exodus 20:26.
  7. Levites were chosen shortly after this to claim the hallowed first-born place in Israel (Nos 3:5-13; Nos. 8:1-16).
  8. It appears that the reason for this “firstborn” status (the consecrating of Levites for the firstborn) was the repentance of Exodus 32:26-28.
  9. This consecration seems to be a partial fulfillment of Genesis 49:5-7.
  10. There had to be a firstborn substitute (Nos 3:44ff)

Hope this is helpful. Watch early next week for updates about three things: 

  1. March for Life in late January.
  2. Israel/Rome trip in 2022
  3. A few remaining shirts/hoodies. (Please don’t order in these comments. We will put them in the store at www.thecolleyhouse next week when we are sure everyone who already ordered has received. They will be very limited sizes and quantities and must be ordered in the store. Thanks very much. This is necessary in order for us to not sell the same shirt twice! Please do let us know if you have not received your previous shirt orders via FB message.)

Have the best kind of blessed week-end. I hope your world is as beautiful as Huntsville, Alabama is during late October!