Browsing Tag

Adultery

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Lust’s Contempt for Loyalty

Posted on June 15, 2023

This week, several people have spoken with Glenn or me about the devastating consequences of adultery; in some cases about how to save marriages and, sadly, in some, about bridges to happiness permanently burned by unfaithfulness. These words, from Proverb 6, are extremely relevant to our homes today. I’ve borrowed the comments that follow this passage from Glenn. He’s right and these truths need to keep being said over and over again.

My son, keep your father’s command,

And do not forsake the law of your mother.

Bind them continually upon your heart;

Tie them around your neck.

When you roam, they will lead you;

When you sleep, they will keep you;

And when you awake, they will speak with you.

For the commandment is a lamp,

And the law a light;

Reproofs of instruction are the way of life,

To keep you from the evil woman,

From the flattering tongue of a seductress.

Do not lust after her beauty in your heart,

Nor let her allure you with her eyelids.

For by means of a harlot

A man is reduced to a crust of bread;

And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life.

Can a man take fire to his bosom,

And his clothes not be burned?

Can one walk on hot coals,

And his feet not be seared?

So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;

Whoever touches her shall not be innocent.

People do not despise a thief

If he steals to satisfy himself when he is starving.

Yet when he is found, he must restore sevenfold;

He may have to give up all the substance of his house.

Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding;

He who does so destroys his own soul.

Wounds and dishonor he will get,

And his reproach will not be wiped away.

For jealousy is a husband’s fury;

Therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

He will accept no recompense,

Nor will he be appeased though you give many gifts. 

Satan makes promises every day that he cannot and will not keep.  Today’s proverb involves a promise. It’s a promise of happiness that Satan gives a man in order to entice him to be with a woman in a way that breaks his marriage vow.  I’ve been around men who have forfeited their purity, faithfulness, and marriage to this enticement, and I have learned this: people don’t commit adultery for the wound and dishonor of it. They do it for the pleasure, and always, at the moment, they believe they’ll get away with it.  As they begin the process of adultery, they attach shame to themselves. It’s a shame that’s difficult to ever leave behind.

Consider three consequences in this Proverb that come to one who violates his or her marriage to be with another. Let’s hide these results in our hearts, so we can remember them if Satan pays us a visit with this temptation.

1. Verse 26:  “For by means of a harlot a man is reduced to a crust of bread.”

This can mean one of two things. Either he, like a piece of bread, can be seen, held, consumed and destroyed; or, the consequence of sinning with a prostitute is often that a man will lose everything and find himself begging for bread.

2.  Verse 29: “Whoever touches her shall not be innocent.”  

Why does this need to be said?  Because this is the result of a major lie of the devil which so many have believed.  At the moment, a man believes he can embrace this indulgence, but his secret usually doesn’t stay hidden for long.  One such man said to me, “I didn’t mean to…it just happened.”  Another said, “She meant nothing to me, but now my wife is divorcing me.  I’ve begged her not to leave me. If only I could turn the clock back, I would.”

It is often true that a person who breaks a marriage vow and is discovered will repent with tears, beg forgiveness, and then fully expect that things can immediately go back to normal in his or her marriage.  That’s a childish viewpoint.  Trust, which is the lifeblood of healthy marriage, is crushed in a moment and rebuilt only after much time has shown the guilty to be trustworthy again.

3.  Verse 33:  “And his reproach will not be wiped away.”

This doesn’t mean that God won’t forgive a penitent Christian who has repented. He will (1 Cor. 6:9-11).  It means that some sins are harder to forget. Perhaps this is what the Spirit meant when He inspired Paul to write, “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18).

Lust has contempt for loyalty, but good marriage cannot survive without loyalty.  Hold on to your integrity in all parts of your life, and remember that no man or woman who ever committed adultery did so while evading the all-seeing eyes of God.  Intimacy inside of God-approved marriage is a celebration and, in fact, a command (1 Cor. 7:1-2).  But the same act outside of marriage draws the anger of that same God.

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Heb. 13:4). 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Family Ties in the Social Distance #26: Proverbs 12:16–Kindness to Animals

Posted on April 20, 2020

My husband, Glenn, is sharing these daily lessons  for our West Huntsville family as we are necessarily (because of the virus) spending less time physically together in worship, study and fellowship. We may be “socially distanced,” but  we’re a close-knit family and we want to keep it that way! One way to stay on track together, spiritually, is to think about a common passage and make applications for our lives together even when we are unable to assemble as frequently. I’m sharing these daily family lessons here for those in other places, whose families (or even congregations) might benefit from a common study in these uncommon days of semi-quarantine. There are Family Bible Time guides included, as well. You can adapt, shorten or lengthen them according to the ages of kids (and adults) in your family. Blessings.

From Glenn:

My Favorite Proverbs: The importance of kindness to animals. 

“A righteous man regards the life of his animal, but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel” (Prov. 12:16).

The World Animal Protection organization is in London and is a strong advocate for the humane treatment of animals, but the better known organization in the US is PETA, People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals.  A quick glance at their website will raise most Christians’ eyebrows. The lead headline is “Animals are not ours to experiment on, eat, wear, use for entertainment, or abuse in any other way.”  The site asserts that animals and people are no different, and that the word “others” in the Golden Rule (Matt. 7:12) applies to animals and humans alike. Bible believers know that these folks have failed to consult the Word.  The Creator of animals, it seems to me, ought to get a say in these matters:  

“Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth” (Gen. 1:26).

“So God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them: “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth. And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be on every beast of the earth, on every bird of the air, on all that move on the earth, and on all the fish of the sea. They are given into your hand. Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. I have given you all things, even as the green herbs” (Gen. 9:1-3).

“Now John himself was clothed in camel’s hair, with a leather belt around his waist; and his food was locusts and wild honey” (Matt. 3:4). 

Scripture often seems to answer questions it anticipates being asked in the future.  The Proverbs writer warns against cruelty to animals in our text today,  but on the same page, Proverbs 12:27, says, “The lazy man does not roast what he took in hunting, but diligence is man’s precious possession.”  Solomon obviously didn’t consider hunting, killing, and eating animals to be cruelty.

But that doesn’t mean this Proverb teaches nothing important.  Using animals for clothing, food, transportation, and companionship is not cruel, but abusing them without regard for their pain is cruelty. Furthermore, I doubt you’ll find a man who thus abuses animals and also treats humans as he should.  There is a connection in there somewhere.  One of the ways we teach our children to be gentle with other children is to teach them to be gentle with puppies.  

It may very well be that God’s prohibition against abusing animals is less about the animals and more about what such abuse says about us.

 

Bible Time with Glenn and Cindy:

Review the events about David and Bathsheba with your kids.

Tonight’s lesson is from 2 Samuel 11:25:

Then David said to the messenger, “Thus you shall say to Joab: ‘Do not let this thing displease you, for the sword devours one as well as another. Strengthen your attack against the city, and overthrow it.’ So encourage him.”

I. Read and explain the verse to your kids. Notice with the kids how that David also wanted to encourage Joab to not worry about the horrible sin they’d committed. Have them see that people often think it will make them feel better about their own sin if they can try to make other people feel better about doing wrong. Sin makes sort of a “club” for “Let’s make each other feel better about this bad thing we are doing.” Talk with your kids about a list of things we might say to help each other “feel better” about sin. 

 

  1. “People do this all the time.” (That’s what Joab was saying when he mentioned Abimelech.)
  2. “This is not as bad as what some people do.” (People who are social drinkers talk about how they are not drunkards. People who dress immodestly often point out that what they wear is a lot better than what ___________ wears. For small children, it might be that “I sometimes get a checkmark by my name at school for misbehavior, but I never get five checkmarks like ________does.”
  3. No one will ever know.” (For your teens, perhaps talk about pornography addictions. For younger children, maybe something like when they hide a mess and pretend they cleaned it up. I’m sure you can think of applicable things in your specific case.)
  4. “God will forgive us later, when it’s a good time to do the right thing.” (If you’re talking with teens, talk about premarital sex. Almost always, premarital sex, committed with intentions to marry later, never does even end in marriage; it ends in regret. Even if it does end in marriage, it still ends in regret, for God’s people, because it is sin.)
  5. “We can always make different choices later, if this turns out wrong.”  Let’s just live our best life now. ( A good example is Abraham lying about Sarah. He thought it was so temporary. [Gen.12 and Gen. 20]. Another example is when couples move in together or marry and say “Let’s try this and see how it works out.”)
  6. People still look up to us. We are doing a lot of things right.” (Solomon must have thought this when he was the richest man in all the world and yet was idolatrous.)
  7. “We can’t confess this. It would hurt our influence.” (Joseph’s brothers lived the consequence of their treatment of Joseph and the deceit that followed for many years. After all, their family was prominent  in their community.)
  8. “It’s okay. We are just going through a hard time right now.” (People who may cheat on their income taxes or take things that do not belong to them are examples of this rationalizing.)
  9. “I know it was wrong, but we did it to help someone else.” (Example: When people lie in order to make someone happy.)
  10. “I know this is against what the Bible says, but I just think God wants me to be happy.” (Example: When people marry people to whom they have no right.

Talk about each one of these things and see if your children can think of examples of people today, or people in Scripture, who may be thinking/ have thought this way. Obviously, you will have to adjust this conversation to fit the maturity levels of your children. You may want to omit some of the points for very young children. I included some examples for possible discussion above. 

The point of tonight’s lesson is that people can think of a good “reason” to do any bad thing that they want to do. They can also make it seem like it’s not so bad after they do it and they can comfort each other into thinking it’s not so bad. Try to remind your children of this throughout the day tomorrow when they may make excuses for disobedience or argue about what you tell them to do. There’s never a good reason to do the wrong thing or to disobey. 

II. Also, notice with your children that it’s easier to do the wrong thing when someone is helping you. People who disobey God love to get other people to do it with them. Joab and David encouraged each other to do the wrong thing. They were a “sin team” led by David. Ask your children if they have ever had someone who tried to get them to be on their sin team. “Has anyone ever tried to get you to do the wrong thing with them?”

Quote the KidSing rule.

Pray with your children. 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Family Ties in the Social Distance #25: Proverbs 12:5–Seeking Wise Counsel

Posted on April 17, 2020

My husband, Glenn, is sharing these daily lessons  for our West Huntsville family as we are necessarily (because of the virus) spending less time physically together in worship, study and fellowship. We may be “socially distanced,” but  we’re a close-knit family and we want to keep it that way! One way to stay on track together, spiritually, is to think about a common passage and make applications for our lives together even when we are unable to assemble as frequently. I’m sharing these daily family lessons here for those in other places, whose families (or even congregations) might benefit from a common study in these uncommon days of semi-quarantine. There are Family Bible Time guides included, as well. You can adapt, shorten or lengthen them according to the ages of kids (and adults) in your family. Blessings.

From Glenn:

My Favorite Proverbs:  Seeking wise counsel when I don’t know what to do (Prov. 12:5, KJV). 

“The thoughts of the righteous are right, but the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.”

I love this proverb for its practicality.  Many have been the times of my life when I’ve reached out for the mature advice of faithful Christians in whose judgment I place trust.  It has always benefitted me to hear, not only the answer to my question, but the sound, Scripturally-anchored reasoning it took to reach the answer.  Just now, the faces of these people—my “great cloud of witnesses”—flood my mind.  Many of them have now gone to the other side.

To seek advice from a man or woman who has no Bible-based compass is a mistake. Many have listened to worldly counsel and made life-altering mistakes.

Go from the presence of a foolish man, when you do not perceive in him the lips of knowledge (Prov. 14:7).

I’ve occasionally encountered people who, in their hearts, knew the right decision at some crossroad, but foolishly chose someone who would say the opposite.  The person seeking the advice already knew he’d be told exactly what he wanted to hear and, on that very basis, chose the counselor.  This often happens in reference to marriage problems when people deliberately choose counselors who are not Christians.  I’ve heard people in such problems say it plainly to their spouses, “I’ll go to counseling with you so long as it isn’t  a member of the church.”  That’s a sad mistake.

Titus 2:3-5 has always seemed so practical for young women: “The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish (other translations: train, teach, urge) the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”  Imagine the foresight of a teenage woman knocking on the door (or even popping up in the email) of an older Christian woman and asking, “Can we talk about a decision I need to make?”

Are you struggling with some dilemma or some difficult question about life or marriage or child-rearing, or a relationship at work, and you need sound advice?  Choose someone you know will be objective, balanced, and above all, someone who knows the Bible. That’s the person who can see the future best. “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” (Psa. 119:105).

Family Bible Time with Glenn and Cindy

1. Read or paraphrase 2 Samuel 11: 18-24. Explain the tragic event to your children. Tell them, for now, that Joab had Uriah killed in the battle, just like David had asked him to do. Then Joab told a messenger to go back to David and let him know, for sure, that Uriah was dead. He told him to tell David in crafty terms, so that the servant would not realize, as he was telling David, that they had murdered Uriah. Joab wanted everyone to think it was just one of those things that happens in a war. 

Make some memorable points as you talk about this horrible decision and death of a good man. 

2. Joab found a crafty way to let David know that Uriah was dead. He even acted like he thought David would be mad because of the decision to fight close to the wall and because they had lost a valuable soldier like Uriah. There was a lot of pretending going on here. Joab knew that David would actually be very relieved (in a sick kind of way) that Uriah was dead. Explain this to all of your children. 

3. Have older kids turn to Judges 9:50-55 and read for themselves the account of Abimelech that Joab told the messenger to rehearse to David. Tell them that Joab was trying to both hide the sin of murder from the messenger and make David feel better about the “casualty” of war that Uriah was on that day of battle. “After all, sometimes it has been a great thing to fight up near the wall.”  All of this little speech of the messenger was a huge “code-speech” for “Your plan has worked. Uriah is dead and it all looks good. I believe you (we) can get away with this murder.” Tell them that Joab and David’s friendship had been ruined now by their joint commission of this horrible sin. Their days of innocent friendship were over. There would always be the memory of this terrible sin between them. Encourage them to always keep friendships pure and holy. Never have sinful secrets between friends. It forever ruins great relationships. 

4. Try to make a list, at this point, of all the people that David has involved in his sin. He is hurting people all around while trying to protect himself. The list will be something like this:

Himself

Bathsheba

Uriah

Messenger who got Bathsheba

Servants when Uriah came to place

Joab

The other soldiers who were fighting alongside Uriah and retreated

The other soldiers who died beside Uriah

The messenger sent by Joab back to David

5. Make a strong point to your children that sin hurts good people and bad people. It does not discriminate. Ask them if they can think of good people who are hurting because of bad things that other people have done. Older kids may think of friends who are hurting because parents are alcoholics or unfaithful or abusive. They may think of people in the youth group who have hurt others by saying unkind things or by being disloyal to each other in relationships. Help younger kids think of how families might be hurt when one of the members of the family has to go to jail or even of innocent people who are hurt by wicked people in fairy tales. Examples are Geppetto being hurt in the story of Pinocchio or how Cinderella is hurt by the wicked stepmother and by the stepsisters or how Snow White is hurt by the wicked Queen. (It’s interesting to tell older kids that the name Geppetto means “Jehovah has added.” It’s a Hebrew name.) Choose one of these stories to read tonight and have the kids listen for someone who’s innocent being hurt by someone wicked. Sin hurts other people. (If you have both teens and younger ones, have the older ones read to the younger ones. But stick around for helping with applications.)

Quote God’s ideal for marriage: One man, for one woman, for life.

Quote the KidSing rule: Do the right thing.

Pray with your kids. 

(Next time we’ll make some observations about David’s answer back to Joab. Their correspondence both ways was full of deceit.)

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Family Ties in the Social Distance #22: Proverbs 11:17–The Merciful Man

Posted on April 14, 2020

My husband, Glenn, is sharing these daily lessons  for our West Huntsville family as we are necessarily (because of the virus) spending less time physically together in worship, study and fellowship. We may be “socially distanced,” but  we’re a close-knit family and we want to keep it that way! One way to stay on track together, spiritually, is to think about a common passage and make applications for our lives together even when we are unable to assemble as frequently. I’m sharing these daily family lessons here for those in other places, whose families (or even congregations) might benefit from a common study in these uncommon days of semi-quarantine. There are Family Bible Time guides included, as well. You can adapt, shorten or lengthen them according to the ages of kids (and adults) in your family. Blessings.

From Glenn:

My Favorite Proverbs:  The Merciful Man (Proverb 11:17)

“The merciful man does good for his own soul, but he who is cruel troubles his own flesh.”

When it is difficult to be merciful:

  1. When the offense is frequent.  

“Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (Matt. 18:21-22).

2.  When I forget my own sin.

“So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first” (Jn. 8:1-11).

3.  When I forget the enormity of the sin-debt for which I have been forgiven.

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:32).

  How my soul benefits from being merciful:

  1. I can be forgiven.

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt. 6:14-15).

2.  I may reconcile with my brother. 

“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother” (Matthew 18:15).

3.  It creates a better atmosphere from which to examine my own temptations.

“Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted” (Gal. 6:1).

Family Bible Time with Glenn and Cindy

David and Bathsheba (cont.)

  1. Read and/or paraphrase 2 Samuel 11: 6-11 to your children. There are some great things to talk about with your children from this brief account.
  2. First, review with them how wrong it is for us to ask other people to become involved in our sin. Who did David commission here to go get Uriah? David  was actually wanting Uriah to come home to Jerusalem so  could start a process of deceiving him. He did not want Uriah to find out that he had taken Bathsheba to his palace. So he got someone else innocently involved. David was making a habit of this. Do you think when someone becomes powerful and rich, like David was, that it is easy to start thinking that he can boss everyone around and everyone has to do whatever he says, even if it is wrong? Do you think David thought this, at least for a time?
  3. Read to your children Deuteronomy 8:17-18 and ask the question “Who is it that gives people power to get riches? ” (Ask the question first and tell them to listen for the answer as you read.) Ask your children if they know someone who has riches. Maybe they may think of a football player or a movie star. If they do name a person, ask them if they think that person is remembering to honor the one who gave him/her the riches. Discuss this.
  4. David acted like he had called Uriah to find out all about the battle, but, really, he was trying to get Uriah to go home to Bathsheba, so they could act like everything was okay and David had never even taken Uriah’s wife. (Your older children will here tell you the detailed reason for David wanting Uriah to go home–so everyone would think the baby Bathsheba was expecting belonged to her husband.)  Was David “pretending” with Uriah? Was he trying to “pretend” that he had not taken Uriah’s wife, so that no one would know? Do you think “pretending” here is kind of like lying?
  5. But Uriah did not go home to Bathsheba, after all. What reason did he give for sleeping outside David’s door with all the servants? Discuss some ways that this shows Uriah’s loyalty to the nation of Israel and his great leadership qualities. Uriah did not want to act like he was better than all the other soldiers so he did not go home and have a relaxing time with his wife. He wanted to wait till the battle was over to relax. David’s plan to get Uriah and Bathsheba back together did not work.
  6. Tonight have “Who am I?” night with this account. Go around the
    room asking these riddles and see who can get the most right. (A prize is a great interest incentive, at young ages…at any age really.)

I walked on the roof. Who am I?

I took a bath. Who am I?

I am the king of Israel. Who am I?

We went to fetch Bathsheba for the King? Who are we?

I told Uriah to go home to Jerusalem. Who am I?

I am Bathsheba’s husband. Who am I?

I took Bathsheba into my palace. Who am I?

I was disobeyed by David. Who am I?

I would not go home and sleep with my wife. Who am I?

I asked how Joab was doing. Who am I?

I have a door where Uriah slept. Who am I?

I pretended to want to know about the battle. Who am I?

I was afraid people would find out about my sin with Bathsheba. Who am I?

We committed adultery. Who are we?

I am the One who gives people the power to get riches. Who am I?

 

Have your kids repeat God’s Ideal for Marriage:  “One man and one woman for life.”

Have them say the Life Rule or the Kidsing Rule: “Do the right thing.”

Pray together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Family Ties in the Social Distance: #21–7 Things about Wise People

Posted on April 13, 2020

My husband, Glenn, is sharing these daily lessons  for our West Huntsville family as we are necessarily (because of the virus) spending less time physically together in worship, study and fellowship. We may be “socially distanced,” but  we’re a close-knit family and we want to keep it that way! One way to stay on track together, spiritually, is to think about a common passage and make applications for our lives together even when we are unable to assemble as frequently. I’m sharing these daily family lessons here for those in other places, whose families (or even congregations) might benefit from a common study in these uncommon days of semi-quarantine. There are Family Bible Time guides included, as well. You can adapt, shorten or lengthen them according to the ages of kids (and adults) in your family. Blessings.

From Glenn:

My Favorite Proverbs:   Seven Things We Know about Wise People

A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother (10:1).

1. They are taught by the testimony of the Lord.

The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul;

The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple (Psa. 19:7).

A wise man will hear and increase learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel (Prov. 1:5).

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil (Prov. 3:7).

…and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus (2 Tim. 3:15).

2.  They love the souls of men and women.

The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise (Prov. 11:30).

3.  They keep good company.

He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed (Prov. 13:20).

4.  They put a high priority on healthy marriage.

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands (Prov. 14:1).

5.  They hear the sayings of Jesus and do them.

Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock. and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock (Matt. 7:24-25).

6.  They often look like fools in the eyes of worldly people.

Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise (1 Cor. 3:18).

7.  They live carefully and prudently.

See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil (Eph. 5:15).

Bible Time with Glenn and Cindy

1. Read to your children 2 Samuel 11:2-5 and explain to them, in age-appropriate terms, what David did in these verses. For young children, it will be that he saw another man’s wife and he wanted her for his own, because she was beautiful. For older children, you will explain that he lusted for her and he sinned by having a sexual relationship with her. For all children, explain that stealing is stealing, whether it is a man’s money or his wife. “It’s called adultery when it’s a wife instead of money that is taken.”

2. For teens, here, fill in the details about the pregnancy and the selfishness of David, in not thinking about the involvement of innocent people (like a baby) in his grievous sin.

3. Also here, talk to your kids about the messengers in this passage. Was it fair for David to ask his messengers to help him sin? What should the messengers have done when asked to go and get the beautiful woman for David? Do you think they knew they were helping him “steal” another man’s wife?  Has anyone ever asked you to help them do wrong? (Give examples like asking to copy your homework or asking you to tell a lie to help keep a secret or asking you to hide something that got broken. It’s fun to make up these scenarios and ask your kids “What should you say if someone asked you to do this?”)

4. For younger children, for now, just tell them that Bathsheba went back home, but she was afraid that her good husband would find out that she and David had been acting like they were married. She was afraid Uriah would find out that she had gone to the palace to be with another man who was not her husband.

5. All ages should learn that David violated the seventh of the ten commandments and they should be able to quote that command from Exodus 20:14. For those who have the Hannah’s Hundred 2 CD, all of the ten commandments are included in song there and this would be a great time to learn to sing them.

6. I hope you can emphasize to your children that David decided to sin by taking Bathsheba. Up until he actually committed this sin (had her come to the palace and took her in), he could have repented of his wish to have Bathsheba and prayed to God for help in staying far from her. But, instead, he made a choice that is going to have some very bad consequences. Teach your children that when we think about doing something that’s wrong, we should quickly change our minds before we actually do the wrong thing. (Explain this to young children by talking to them about a beautiful chocolate cake that you have told them not to touch. Explain to them that they should not go to the drawer to get a fork or to the cabinet to get a plate. They should not take the lid off the cake stand. But explain to them that it’s all pretty easy to fix until they actually touch the cake. But once it’s cut and  eaten, there are some consequences that are not fun.)

Make a list of things we might say in our homes, to try and think before we disobey or act disrespectfully. In our house, they included these. You will have your own:

–“Think about this before you choose, now.”

–“Make a good choice.”

— “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

–“This is not going to end up good. Think about it.”

–“Wait and minute and think. Do you know what is going to happen if you disobey?”

The goal here is to get your children to ask these warnings on their own, even if you are not with them when the temptation comes.

7. Have teens think about people they know who have already made choices that have had bad endings.  Have a conversation about these “real-life” choices that should have been stopped before certain actions were committed. If they cannot think of any in their circles of peers, remind them of the decision to sell Joseph (how much pain came in the lives of the brothers once they decided to do that and how they had to start deceiving to cover their tracks.) Remind them of Potiphar’s wife’s decision to lie about Joseph and how an innocent man suffered much because of a selfish choice on her part.

Pray with your children.

Be sure they can repeat God’s ideal for marriage: One man and one woman for life.

 

 

 

Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Family Ties in the Social Distance #18: Proverbs 6:20-35–About Adultery

Posted on April 8, 2020

My husband, Glenn, is sharing these daily lessons  for our West Huntsville family as we are necessarily (because of the virus) spending less time physically together in worship, study and fellowship. We may be “socially distanced,” but  we’re a close-knit family and we want to keep it that way! One way to stay on track together, spiritually, is to think about a common passage and make applications for our lives together even when we are unable to assemble as frequently. I’m sharing these daily family lessons here for those in other places, whose families (or even congregations) might benefit from a common study in these uncommon days of semi-quarantine. There are Family Bible Time guides included, as well. You can adapt, shorten or lengthen them according to the ages of kids (and adults) in your family. Blessings.

From Glenn:

My Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 6:20-35—Adultery’s Deceit

Read these verses slowly and thoughtfully:

My son, keep your father’s command,

And do not forsake the law of your mother.

Bind them continually upon your heart;

Tie them around your neck.

When you roam, they will lead you;

When you sleep, they will keep you;

And when you awake, they will speak with you.

For the commandment is a lamp,

And the law a light;

Reproofs of instruction are the way of life,

To keep you from the evil woman,

From the flattering tongue of a seductress.

Do not lust after her beauty in your heart,

Nor let her allure you with her eyelids.

For by means of a harlot

A man is reduced to a crust of bread;

And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life.

Can a man take fire to his bosom,

And his clothes not be burned?

Can one walk on hot coals,

And his feet not be seared?

So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;

Whoever touches her shall not be innocent.

People do not despise a thief

If he steals to satisfy himself when he is starving.

Yet when he is found, he must restore sevenfold;

He may have to give up all the substance of his house.

Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding;

He who does so destroys his own soul.

Wounds and dishonor he will get,

And his reproach will not be wiped away.

For jealousy is a husband’s fury;

Therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

He will accept no recompense,

Nor will he be appeased though you give many gifts. 

Satan makes promises every day that he cannot and will not deliver.  Today’s proverb involves a promise. It’s a promise of happiness that Satan gives a man in order to entice him to be with a woman in a way that breaks his marriage vow.  I’ve been around men who have forfeited their purity, faithfulness, and marriage to this enticement, and I have learned this: people don’t commit adultery for the wound and dishonor of it. They do it for the pleasure, and always, at the moment, they believe they’ll get away with it.  As they begin the process of adultery, they attach shame to themselves. It’s a shame that’s difficult to ever leave behind.

Consider three consequences in this Proverb that come to one who violates his or her marriage to be with another. Let’s hide these results in our hearts, so we can remember them if Satan pays us a visit with this temptation.

1. Verse 26:  “For by means of a harlot a man is reduced to a crust of bread.”

This can mean one of two things. Either he, like a piece of bread, can be seen, held, consumed and destroyed; or, the consequence of sinning with a prostitute is often that a man will lose everything and find himself begging for bread.

2.  Verse 29: “Whoever touches her shall not be innocent.”  

Why does this need to be said?  Because this is the result of a major lie of the devil which so many have believed.  At the moment, a man believes he can embrace this indulgence, but his secret usually doesn’t stay hidden for long.  One such man said to me, “I didn’t mean to…it just happened.”  Another said, “She meant nothing to me, but now my wife is divorcing me.  I’ve begged her not to leave me. If only I could turn the clock back, I would.”

It is often true that a person who breaks a marriage vow and is discovered will repent with tears, beg forgiveness, and then fully expect that things can immediately go back to normal in his or her marriage.  That’s a childish viewpoint.  Trust, which is the lifeblood of healthy marriage, is crushed in a moment and rebuilt only after much time has shown the guilty to be trustworthy again.

3.  Verse 33:  “And his reproach will not be wiped away.”

This doesn’t mean that God won’t forgive a penitent Christian who has repented. He will (1 Cor. 6:9-11).  It means that some sins are harder to forget. Perhaps this is what the Spirit meant when He inspired Paul to write, “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18).

Lust has contempt for loyalty, but good marriage cannot survive without loyalty.  Hold on to your integrity in all parts of your life, and remember that no man or woman who ever committed adultery did so while evading the all-seeing eyes of God.  Intimacy inside of God-approved marriage is a celebration and, in fact, a command (1 Cor. 7:1-2).  But the same act outside of marriage draws the anger of that same God.

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Heb. 13:4). 

Family Bible Time with Glenn and Cindy

Let’s take a few nights in 2 Samuel now in the David and Bathsheba saga during the life of Israel’s second king. Parents should read 2 Samuel 11 in preparation for story time for the next couple of nights. For tonight, let’s just take the first verse-and-a half of the chapter. Explain to your children that David was the king of Israel and it was war-time. The fighting men of Israel were on the battlefield in a big conflict with the Ammonites. Be sure they know that God was not happy with the people of Ammon because they worshipped idols. He wanted his people to defeat the Ammonites and they were doing just that. Next make sure that your children know that the King (David, in this case) should have been intensely interested in two things: 1) what was going on in the battle, and 2) the law of the Lord and the Lord’s guidance in the battle. 

  1. Read Deuteronomy 17:14-20 and explain to your children the “rules” for the king of Israel as prescribed by God:
  • The king had to be an Israelite.
  • He could not be one who wanted to go back to Egypt.
  • He could not be one who had a whole lot of horses.
  • He could not have a bunch of wives.
  • He could not be chasing after lots of money.
  • He had to write his own copy of the Law of God.
  • He had to read it all the days of His life.
  • He could not be “braggy” or think he was better than everyone else. 
  • He had to obey all the commands of God.

2. Ask your children if they think God expected the king to be a great example of obedience to all of the people around him. Tell them that, in the next few nights, we are going to see the time in King David’s life when he really messed up and did  not obey.

Ask your young children if they know what the word “obey” means. Talk about examples in your house of children obeying parents. 

3. Talk now about how David is just about to disobey God in a very big way. Tell them that, while it is not wrong to walk on the roof, David would not have sinned in this way if he had been somewhere else at the time the temptation came. Sometimes we don’t know when and how the devil is going to tempt us. But sometimes we know when there’s going to be temptation and we should just avoid the place of temptation, altogether. On this night, David did not know the devil was just about to try to get him to do a very wrong thing, and so it was not wrong for him to be up there on the roof.  Still, it would have been so much better if David had been somewhere else that night…maybe reading his copy of the law or praying about his soldiers. When we do know temptation is coming, we should make sure we are someplace else. 

4. Ask your children if they have ever been tempted to do something wrong because they were in the wrong place?  Talk to them about the following scenarios and how it’s hard to do the right thing when you are in the wrong place:

  1. What if you were a teenager and you were in a place where people were drinking beer? Is it harder to make good choices when “cool” people are trying to get you to drink?
  2. What about when people around you are saying “Oh my gosh!” or “Oh my God.” What if they are laughing about something when they say it? Does this make you want to laugh, too, and pretend like it is not big deal to use God’s name that way?
  3. What if your friends are all watching something on tv that has bad words or stuff that’s not what would make the Lord happy? Is it harder to choose not to watch that if you are in a place where all the rest of the people are watching it? 

So, does the place where we are spending time sometimes make doing the right thing harder?  This is why, in our house, we do not watch movies or shows that have bad words or people laughing at things that do not please God.

David is just about to find out that staying IN the word of God and OUT of the way of temptation can save a LOT of trouble and grief. For now though, let’s leave David up there on the roof of the palace and let’s think about how important it is that we choose the best places to be…places where it is easy to obey God!

4. Sing together if you have small ones: 

Oh Be Careful Little Eyes What You See.”

O be careful little eyes what you see

O be careful little eyes what you see

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little eyes what you see.

O be careful little ears what you hear

O be careful little ears what you hear

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little ears what you hear.

O be careful little tongue what you say

O be careful little tongue what you say

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little tongue what you say.

O be careful little hands what you do

O be careful little hands what you do

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little hands what you do.

O be careful little feet where you go

O be careful little feet where you go

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little feet where you go.

O be careful little heart whom you trust

O be careful little heart whom you trust

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little heart whom you trust.

O be careful little mind what you think

O be careful little mind what you think

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little mind what you think.

5. Have your older children write Proverbs 4:14,15 on an index card to place on their dresser mirrors or bathroom mirrors. Talk with them about how this passage is warning us to just stay away from temptation. Sometimes being absent from places where sin may look attractive is just the best plan. See if they can think of additional examples where this might be the case.

6. Pray with your children.