Know Your Kids

I was in the hair salon the other day speaking with my friend Karen, who is the mother of two young teen girls. With great emotion, Karen asked for advice in dealing with the fourteen year old. She was sexually active with her boyfriend. But then my friend told me the saddest part of the tragic saga of her daughter’s loss of innocence. This child was inviting others to watch her as she had sex with her boyfriend. I came to understand that this fourteen year old was charging admission to her classmates and to internet viewers who were willing to patronize her sex show.  

As I listened I had to weep for this mother. How could life go on in my world if this were my fourteen year old?  How would I face each morning knowing that my very young daughter had slipped into a devil’s grasp that, at best, would never fully release her. What counselor would be able to reach into such a mixed-up heart and untangle the complicated web of guilt, the future haunting of relational insecurities and the fear of harm already inflicted on that beautiful young  body?

The devil is merciless. He attacks the most vulnerable and devours the unsuspecting without warning. It would be so very nice if he set up a roadside warning and yellow lights for adults before he messes with our children…something like “Caution…Satan’s Crews at Work Ahead…Proceed with Extreme Caution.”  But he often has our children in the ditch before we are even aware that his crews are erecting the safety hazards.

The warning signs are only apparent when we really know our kids. They come up in unplanned conversations. The yellow lights blink only when we are spending large amounts of time talking to our kids and really knowing what they are about. Being home when they come home from school is important. Knowing and conversing with their teachers and coaches is essential. Having the privilege of being the adult chaperone when they are with their friends is something you should covet earnestly. Your house should be open to their friends and your table always the one around which they gather for pizza or popcorn. Your family Bible time should be inviting and interesting to their friends. If their boyfriends or girlfriends are watching the movie at your house, then you are there baking the cookies. Teen years rush by. All of these chances to really know your teenager will soon be gone. Is parenting a teen a major time commitment? OH YEAH! But I have a hunch my friend would love the chance to turn back the clock and put in a little more time with her teen.

I pray that some mother who is reading this still has time on her side. Renew your determination to get to the heart of the matter and observe the warning signs before you approach the danger zone.

Largely taken from Women of Troubled Times, by Cindy Colley, Publishing Designs, Huntsville, AL