Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Family Ties in the Social Distance #18: Proverbs 6:20-35–About Adultery

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My husband, Glenn, is sharing these daily lessons  for our West Huntsville family as we are necessarily (because of the virus) spending less time physically together in worship, study and fellowship. We may be “socially distanced,” but  we’re a close-knit family and we want to keep it that way! One way to stay on track together, spiritually, is to think about a common passage and make applications for our lives together even when we are unable to assemble as frequently. I’m sharing these daily family lessons here for those in other places, whose families (or even congregations) might benefit from a common study in these uncommon days of semi-quarantine. There are Family Bible Time guides included, as well. You can adapt, shorten or lengthen them according to the ages of kids (and adults) in your family. Blessings.

From Glenn:

My Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 6:20-35—Adultery’s Deceit

Read these verses slowly and thoughtfully:

My son, keep your father’s command,

And do not forsake the law of your mother.

Bind them continually upon your heart;

Tie them around your neck.

When you roam, they will lead you;

When you sleep, they will keep you;

And when you awake, they will speak with you.

For the commandment is a lamp,

And the law a light;

Reproofs of instruction are the way of life,

To keep you from the evil woman,

From the flattering tongue of a seductress.

Do not lust after her beauty in your heart,

Nor let her allure you with her eyelids.

For by means of a harlot

A man is reduced to a crust of bread;

And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life.

Can a man take fire to his bosom,

And his clothes not be burned?

Can one walk on hot coals,

And his feet not be seared?

So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;

Whoever touches her shall not be innocent.

People do not despise a thief

If he steals to satisfy himself when he is starving.

Yet when he is found, he must restore sevenfold;

He may have to give up all the substance of his house.

Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding;

He who does so destroys his own soul.

Wounds and dishonor he will get,

And his reproach will not be wiped away.

For jealousy is a husband’s fury;

Therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

He will accept no recompense,

Nor will he be appeased though you give many gifts. 

Satan makes promises every day that he cannot and will not deliver.  Today’s proverb involves a promise. It’s a promise of happiness that Satan gives a man in order to entice him to be with a woman in a way that breaks his marriage vow.  I’ve been around men who have forfeited their purity, faithfulness, and marriage to this enticement, and I have learned this: people don’t commit adultery for the wound and dishonor of it. They do it for the pleasure, and always, at the moment, they believe they’ll get away with it.  As they begin the process of adultery, they attach shame to themselves. It’s a shame that’s difficult to ever leave behind.

Consider three consequences in this Proverb that come to one who violates his or her marriage to be with another. Let’s hide these results in our hearts, so we can remember them if Satan pays us a visit with this temptation.

1. Verse 26:  “For by means of a harlot a man is reduced to a crust of bread.”

This can mean one of two things. Either he, like a piece of bread, can be seen, held, consumed and destroyed; or, the consequence of sinning with a prostitute is often that a man will lose everything and find himself begging for bread.

2.  Verse 29: “Whoever touches her shall not be innocent.”  

Why does this need to be said?  Because this is the result of a major lie of the devil which so many have believed.  At the moment, a man believes he can embrace this indulgence, but his secret usually doesn’t stay hidden for long.  One such man said to me, “I didn’t mean to…it just happened.”  Another said, “She meant nothing to me, but now my wife is divorcing me.  I’ve begged her not to leave me. If only I could turn the clock back, I would.”

It is often true that a person who breaks a marriage vow and is discovered will repent with tears, beg forgiveness, and then fully expect that things can immediately go back to normal in his or her marriage.  That’s a childish viewpoint.  Trust, which is the lifeblood of healthy marriage, is crushed in a moment and rebuilt only after much time has shown the guilty to be trustworthy again.

3.  Verse 33:  “And his reproach will not be wiped away.”

This doesn’t mean that God won’t forgive a penitent Christian who has repented. He will (1 Cor. 6:9-11).  It means that some sins are harder to forget. Perhaps this is what the Spirit meant when He inspired Paul to write, “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18).

Lust has contempt for loyalty, but good marriage cannot survive without loyalty.  Hold on to your integrity in all parts of your life, and remember that no man or woman who ever committed adultery did so while evading the all-seeing eyes of God.  Intimacy inside of God-approved marriage is a celebration and, in fact, a command (1 Cor. 7:1-2).  But the same act outside of marriage draws the anger of that same God.

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Heb. 13:4). 

Family Bible Time with Glenn and Cindy

Let’s take a few nights in 2 Samuel now in the David and Bathsheba saga during the life of Israel’s second king. Parents should read 2 Samuel 11 in preparation for story time for the next couple of nights. For tonight, let’s just take the first verse-and-a half of the chapter. Explain to your children that David was the king of Israel and it was war-time. The fighting men of Israel were on the battlefield in a big conflict with the Ammonites. Be sure they know that God was not happy with the people of Ammon because they worshipped idols. He wanted his people to defeat the Ammonites and they were doing just that. Next make sure that your children know that the King (David, in this case) should have been intensely interested in two things: 1) what was going on in the battle, and 2) the law of the Lord and the Lord’s guidance in the battle. 

  1. Read Deuteronomy 17:14-20 and explain to your children the “rules” for the king of Israel as prescribed by God:
  • The king had to be an Israelite.
  • He could not be one who wanted to go back to Egypt.
  • He could not be one who had a whole lot of horses.
  • He could not have a bunch of wives.
  • He could not be chasing after lots of money.
  • He had to write his own copy of the Law of God.
  • He had to read it all the days of His life.
  • He could not be “braggy” or think he was better than everyone else. 
  • He had to obey all the commands of God.

2. Ask your children if they think God expected the king to be a great example of obedience to all of the people around him. Tell them that, in the next few nights, we are going to see the time in King David’s life when he really messed up and did  not obey.

Ask your young children if they know what the word “obey” means. Talk about examples in your house of children obeying parents. 

3. Talk now about how David is just about to disobey God in a very big way. Tell them that, while it is not wrong to walk on the roof, David would not have sinned in this way if he had been somewhere else at the time the temptation came. Sometimes we don’t know when and how the devil is going to tempt us. But sometimes we know when there’s going to be temptation and we should just avoid the place of temptation, altogether. On this night, David did not know the devil was just about to try to get him to do a very wrong thing, and so it was not wrong for him to be up there on the roof.  Still, it would have been so much better if David had been somewhere else that night…maybe reading his copy of the law or praying about his soldiers. When we do know temptation is coming, we should make sure we are someplace else. 

4. Ask your children if they have ever been tempted to do something wrong because they were in the wrong place?  Talk to them about the following scenarios and how it’s hard to do the right thing when you are in the wrong place:

  1. What if you were a teenager and you were in a place where people were drinking beer? Is it harder to make good choices when “cool” people are trying to get you to drink?
  2. What about when people around you are saying “Oh my gosh!” or “Oh my God.” What if they are laughing about something when they say it? Does this make you want to laugh, too, and pretend like it is not big deal to use God’s name that way?
  3. What if your friends are all watching something on tv that has bad words or stuff that’s not what would make the Lord happy? Is it harder to choose not to watch that if you are in a place where all the rest of the people are watching it? 

So, does the place where we are spending time sometimes make doing the right thing harder?  This is why, in our house, we do not watch movies or shows that have bad words or people laughing at things that do not please God.

David is just about to find out that staying IN the word of God and OUT of the way of temptation can save a LOT of trouble and grief. For now though, let’s leave David up there on the roof of the palace and let’s think about how important it is that we choose the best places to be…places where it is easy to obey God!

4. Sing together if you have small ones: 

Oh Be Careful Little Eyes What You See.”

O be careful little eyes what you see

O be careful little eyes what you see

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little eyes what you see.

O be careful little ears what you hear

O be careful little ears what you hear

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little ears what you hear.

O be careful little tongue what you say

O be careful little tongue what you say

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little tongue what you say.

O be careful little hands what you do

O be careful little hands what you do

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little hands what you do.

O be careful little feet where you go

O be careful little feet where you go

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little feet where you go.

O be careful little heart whom you trust

O be careful little heart whom you trust

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little heart whom you trust.

O be careful little mind what you think

O be careful little mind what you think

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little mind what you think.

5. Have your older children write Proverbs 4:14,15 on an index card to place on their dresser mirrors or bathroom mirrors. Talk with them about how this passage is warning us to just stay away from temptation. Sometimes being absent from places where sin may look attractive is just the best plan. See if they can think of additional examples where this might be the case.

6. Pray with your children.  



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