I am quite convinced that rarely does any young person contemplating marriage really realize the seriousness of this decision. Future successes or failures, the plights of generations to come and the destinies of souls can all be swayed by the choices we make about marriage. I was 20 years old when I married. I had dated Glenn for a year and a half when we made our vows. We were both faithful Christians having been raised in Christian homes. Glenn was already preaching the gospel on a regular basis. We were serious about spiritual things. Yet I am now convinced that I could not, at that vulnerable point in my young life, have fully comprehended the vast implications of the marriage decision. I think it’s especially hard in modern America, a society in which the media puts so much emphasis on outward beauty and material success, for young people to focus on the eternal import of choosing the right mate. A recent TV viewing season had all of America, it seems, engrossed in a couple of reality television dramas in which groups of people were paid large sums of money to participate in marriage competitions; contests in which some “lucky” contestant would marry the supposed millionaire. As a culture we are sending the wrong message to our children about the marriage vows. We are cheapening the sacred and desecrating the holy union of marriage when we convey that the one who gets the glamour guy with the most money is the winner. Marriage is a God ordained institution and should never be relegated to being the grand prize at the end of a game show.
In Judges 14, we get a look at a young man who became very determined to marry the wrong girl. Samson’s mother and father were devastated by his choice. After all, he was promised by an angel, set apart with a Nazarite vow for the purposes of God, and moved by the Holy Spirit of God. This incredible young man had found his wife-to-be among the uncircumcised Philistines.
And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife. Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well.
Are there things we, as parents, can do early on to help our children make wise choices when it comes to dating and marriage? Look for the next post for free ideas that just might help…and certainly can’t hurt.
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(much of this post is from Women of Troubled Times, by Cindy Colley. Publishing Designs, Huntsville, AL)