Question:
I know how busy you are and I hope you have time to read this and can maybe give me a little input. Anyway, we have not enrolled our girls in any type of dance class, mostly for my fear of it leading into immodesty. My 6 year old has begged to take ballet for years now. When people ask her if she takes, she answers, “no cause mom said its bad”-which is not what I said. Some of her friends take, and many of the girls in the church take lessons. I have begun to second guess myself when I see some of those who are strong and faithful enrolling their children. I also think about them being little and my being able to make sure they aren’t being taught inappropriate moves. So, I have begun thinking maybe it isn’t such a bad idea. And then I’m afraid if I do, friends who I have had discussions about the fear of it leading to immodesty with will consider me a hypocrite (Their children take dance), although, I don’t think changing my view makes me a hypocrite. So, I thought I would solicit your opinion, and I began by reading your Q&A your blog from Dec 2009 (I think). If tap and ballet aren’t wrong for a child modestly dressed and no male touching….then are they o.k. for a teenager/adult? I gathered from your blog that they wouldn’t be wrong under those circumstances. What would you consider modest dress for the little one in ballet? Do you have any other Ideas to share on this topic? I do apologize if this sounds silly. We want to make the best decisions for our family. When confused, I feel it best to turn to someone wise and knowledgeable. I look forward to your response.
-Lynn
Response:
Well, first let me say I think you are VERY wise to say no at age six. That was our course with Hannah. I know a little girl whose parents said yes when she was little and she was extremely good at it. To make a long story short, she became so good at it that, when it was time for her to go to college, she was accepted at an exclusive arts university in NYC and so, instead of going to a Christian university where she would have encouragement and suitable marriage choices, she went to NY and put herself in an awful environment because she could not stand to turn down this offer which came with much acclaim. Her sweet grandmother would tell you NO…a thousand times NO. But here is the way I look at it. If this is just a phase, then she will quickly pass through it and be interested in something else. (I would probably go ahead and start a keeper’s club or something way more productive and she can be a leader instead of a follower in that endeavor.) If, on the other hand, it is something for which she has a great propensity for achievement and success, then you are going to run into trouble down the road with moves and immodesty. (I’m really sure about that.) Either way, to put her in such a program seems a waste to me. Having said that, at six, I do not think you are sinning to put her in and I will not fault you. I rather think you are opening the door to some pretty big temptations later. I do not think even a swimsuit on a six year old is immodest. I do not think traditional ballet moves for her would be immodest. I do think drawing the line later will be difficult. And I thinks, as she progresses in such a program there may be dangers to her little soul. These are my thoughts. They may seem extreme, BUT, it seems to me that the moms in your congregation may be pigeon-holing their daughters into one particular activity that has some risks when there is a huge big world of choices out there for creative moms. Love you for wanting to make the best choice!
