The Colley House » Attitude

Processing Problems: from Panic to Peace

Posted by Web Admin | Posted on 17-12-2012

Category : Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

My heart wants to write tonight about Sandy Hook, but I can’t get my mind wrapped around the events of last Friday. I can’t meditate deeply enough or ponder long enough on the tragedy to come up with any lessons save the obvious ones about the destructive nature of sin, the beauty of the hope of heaven and, always, the irony of the tragedy of abortion that occurs in far greater numbers with many more perpetrators and far less fanfare than any school shooting in history. These are lessons that I frequently discuss on this page and, as long as there is breath in me, I will continue to talk about them, even though I despair to see the American culture largely scoffing at them.

In the last few days, I have been in contact with a woman whose husband is given over to the sin of pornography, another who has succumbed to her own propensity for using and manipulating others, one who is experiencing difficulty because she was accidentally administered an extremely incorrect dosage of a strong medication, one who is waiting to die of a deadly STD, one who is recovering from a very debilitating mental and emotional trauma, one who is struggling with the placement of her aged mother who is ill with dementia, one who is tortured by the knowledge of sin in the life of someone she knows who may potentially harm others, one whose husband is experiencing hurt inflicted by his fellowmen because of something valiant he is attempting to do for the cause of Christ, one who experiences grief from anxiety and is losing her much needed counselor and one whose husband has left her and her five children for another woman. All of these women are in the body of Christ and all of them are suffering immense pain of one form or another. Tonight, I am having trouble focusing on the root problems in these scenarios and I am certainly having trouble knowing the right answers, when there are such, to these various dilemmas.

Sometimes lately when I go to a quiet place of prayer, my days seem so brimming with problems –my feeble mind so shell-shocked– that I can’t calm it enough to articulate the needs or even to find the words to plead for wisdom. It’s in times like these that I am so very thankful for the Holy Spirit who can express what I’m too weak and worn to say to my Father.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God (Romans 8: 26,27).

I fully believe that the Spirit has finished His work of revelation to mankind. We have the completed Will of God for our lives in His Word that thoroughly equips us to every good work (II Timothy 3:16,17). There is nothing left for the Spirit to disclose to us–nothing that God wants us to know. But I do not believe the Spirit has finished working. While he has finished revealing from God to man, He is now at work in the other direction. He takes my sentiments to the Father, when I am too burdened to express them–too stressed to enumerate them, too tearful to fully even understand them–I say, then he takes them, in perfect form, to the throne of grace through Jesus the Son My Father hears the perfect pleas of the Spirit in behalf of His very imperfect daughter. And, when I think of this, I am encouraged, renewed and ready to go at life once again.

I am especially grateful that the passage that tells me He is taking my pleas to the Father immediately precedes the promise that’s my life’s anchor:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Problems piled into panic in me, then processed through the Spirit into perfect pleas, then perfected in His powerful plan for something good for me, because I’ve been called according to His purpose. And I can pillow my head knowing that all is ultimately well with my soul. I hope every one who reads can have this blessed assurance. It’s a peace that really does pass understanding.

Correspondence with a Broken Heart

Posted by Web Admin | Posted on 29-11-2012

Category : Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Tags: Attitude, Faith, Morality, Pornography

The following letter came to me yesterday in response to Monday’s blog post. I’ve already prayed for this sweet sister. Will you pray for her, too? I’m praying for all of us that we may learn valuable lessons while we may have time to avoid eternal tragedies. I give you her letter with her permission:

Cindy,
I read your “Average Joe in Europe” and wanted to comment about what I learned from a “converted” Muslim to Christianity about three years ago. It was from an interview somewhere that I found on the internet. He said that the reason that Muslims think that they need to come to America and take over is just what you said – they see America as a “Christian” nation, a nation that must be like the TV shows, “Dallas”, “Soap”, etc. that his family saw when he was a teen before his family came to America. They equate Christianity with America, and America with the TV programs they see. “Such immorality! Such lies! We must go and punish those who profess they know God who live like this,” was their thinking, he said. Ironically, his family escaped his country to come to the freedom in America. Do you know how he was converted to know Christ (albeit in a false church)? Not by the daily conversations he had with his high school Christian friends; not by “observing” the life styles of Christians, but by reading A FEW verses in Matthew. From those few verses, he knew his Muslim teachings had been a lie about Jesus. He began to study the word of God on his own. Imagine that, to simply read and learn the truth FROM the Truth. He said that he told his father that he was a Christian, and that he fully expected his father to kill him in his bed before morning, but morning came and he was alive.

I’ll try to find it again. Though, I doubt I can.

Can I tell you something else? My family is gone to hell. Including me. I learned today that Husband has been on some porn junk, though he says “it’s wrong”. He went to nude beaches on an island he had to go to … long story. I mean, he has been baptized, but is basically, “unchurched” (my term for not attending worship for a very long time), so no real surprise. My older, “goodly” girls, as you once called them, have both left the church (beyond “unchurched”), and I must admit, lately, I have such hateful feelings toward Husband. I know the reality of that sin. We cannot love God and hate our brother. Hate and Heaven are not together. Timidly, I agreed to marry this man that I couldn’t think of a way to get out of the relationship, and my parents, whom I obeyed all my life didn’t say a word of advice to me about it. If my dad had said one sentence to advise against marriage to him, I would have ended it then, and I waited for that sentence. It never came. I think my parents were of the popular opinion that children are old enough to make up their own minds when they are old enough to leave home and go to college. Now, we have daughters that, one did not enter her marriage pure, and the other will not. Both are or will be married to atheists. Can that be possible????? My whole life of training them to be faithful Christian women was a waste. Don’t quote Proverbs 22:6 either. I failed that verse somewhere. I didn’t train them right somewhere, and I think I know the weak spots that failed them.

Just a story for you to warn women and girls not to take the path I have taken, but of course, if you have some words of encouragement and verses of hope, I would love to hear that.

signed,
______________________

So what is it we can learn from this sister who has opened up the recesses of her broken heart today? Here’s a partial list for us all. (I also responded to her personally.)

1. As already stated, the media in America routes rather than reflects our moral condition.
2. America’s moral condition is a large factor in her weakness or strength before the world.
3. The gospel still is the power of God to salvation (Romans 1:16).
4. The gospel is simple, especially if left undiluted by false teachings of men.
5. When we forsake the assemblies of the people of God, we become weak and fall into other sins.
6. Children desperately need two faithful parents in order to maintain a strong faith. Statistics work against them in other cases.
7. The father’s role as the spiritual leader in the home is extremely crucial in the spiritual development of children.
8. There are certain sins that make the distinction between hating the sin and hating the sinner a difficult, albeit necessary one.
9. Pornography destroys relationships. It destroys homes. It hurts children. It is of the devil (Matthew 5:28).
10. When parents can see that their child is about to marry someone who will effectively lead her to hell, they should step in and do all within their power to keep that from occurring.
11. Though inserting godly counsel, for parents, is a tough thing to do, children generally long for parents who set boundaries, maintain discipline, and then, through the “marrying” years, are watchful for their souls.
12. Children are still children, in many respects, at age 18 in America, today. They still need parents and they often still need systems of punishment.
13. There are plenty of atheists in the world today and the devil would love to use them to pull your children from the Lord. It is very important that you include apologetics along with the staple of the Word in your daily family Bible times. (I DID say DAILY family Bible times. I hope that is a given.) Apologetics should begin at age 6 months!
14. There is a real sense in which we are wasting time parenting if our children grow up and leave the Lord.
15. Time is of the essence for parents. There may come a day, young parents, when you would do anything to go back and redo the year in which you find yourself right now. But opportunity, once past, is forever gone. It has no apron strings. Redeem the time.
16. As long as there is life, there is hope. We should never give up on family members who have left the Lord.
17. Sometimes we come to points in life in which we cannot control what anyone else is doing/choosing, but we can still control our own personal choices. Never compromise faith for family.
18. Prayer is always the most valuable resource that we have.
19. All of us have made mistakes. It takes an humble heart to be willing to admit them and it takes a great deal of compassion to bare them so that others can avoid them.
20. Honest evaluation of “weak spots” is learning. We can all do a lot of that along the way.

Blueberries and the Book (The Exciting Conclusion!)

Posted by Web Admin | Posted on 02-07-2012

Category : Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Tags: Attitude, Obedience

About Last, but Not…Well, Last AND Least

On the day of the firstfruits, my biggest temptation was to grab a whole handful of big, delicious berries and fill up my basket in a hurry. Those big clusters of ripeness just made me want to grab them by the fistful. I soon learned to be a bit more discerning, though. What I didn’t see, at first, was that in the middle of those clusters were some tiny white berries, as yet barely exposed to the sun and needing several more days, even a week or two, perhaps, to mature into usefulness for pies, jams, bowls of cereal and ice cream. Picked in the big cluster before their time, they would yet be hard, bitter and difficult to digest.

You know where I’m going. In every congregation there are those who are young and immature in the faith. Before they really become useful to the church, they need more exposure to the Son. They need a little time to grow. They need a little extra attention when the faithful are being productive. One day they will be ready to be useful. But for now, they just need to grow. Hands that are busy in the “bush” need to take special care not to make these young ones fall before they reach maturity. Hands need to be careful to preserve the potential of those who are still growing.

How do we identify those who are immature, perhaps spiritually needy, or in danger of falling? Here are some catch-phrases that might be typical of those who are not yet of age, spiritually:

“We want to be sure our needs are being met.”

“Let me tell you what THEY are doing down at MY church.”

“When I was sick, only two people even visited me.”

“I didn’t get too much out of that service.”

“We need to go somewhere that has lots of teenagers.”

“I know the Bible says__________, but I just don’t think God would…”

“I hope they hire a preacher who is in his thirties like we are.”

“That sermon was pretty good, but it was too long.”

“We’ve got to get on the road, so we won’t be staying for class.”

“ I’ll do it if you can’t find anyone else.”

“If we join your church, do we have to attend on Wednesday nights?”

“ I hope my kids don’t have to miss the gospel meeting. Maybe their games will be over by then.”

The list could go on, but you can see that these types of statements reveal a heart that has yet to grow to be more concerned about the well-being of others than self. We’ve all seen this wonderful transformation to unselfishness occur in the lives of friends who are in the Book. Sometimes personal trials make people more cognizant about the needs of others. Sometimes our genteel treatment of those yet young in the faith, along with our prayers can make the difference.

Let’s remember that growth occurs at different rates and let’s make every effort to preserve the potential of young and growing members. Often that will mean deferring our own plans or even depleting our cash-on-hand. But remember, they will mature, and when we are patient and gentle, productivity for the greatest Cause on earth will be multiplied.

Right Turn

Posted by Web Admin | Posted on 19-01-2012

Category : Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Tags: Attitude, Blessings, Commitment, Faith, Joy, Peace, Thankfulness

For four days now I’ve been wishing for a right turn. Right is the way I turn now to go to my dad’s regular hospital room and left is the way to the ICU, where he has spent the past three days. I’m thankful for all the turns in life through which the Father leads because I have that wonderful assurance of Romans 8:28. “All things” (the good things and the bad things) “work together” (are assimilated) “for good” (to be in the best eternal interests) “to those who love Him and are the called according to His purpose” (for faithful Christians). That makes every turn the right turn for me.

Lots of you already know that my father has been hospitalized since Friday afternoon. For many prayers and kind words and visits and snacks and meals and cards, we are very thankful. Dad’s main problem is pneumonia now and I covet your prayers for some easier breathing. I think the brewing pneumonia and resulting lack of oxygen to the brain last Friday morning was the cause for his disorientation and confusion, As he later said, “Cindy, I have just never been so inept and confused in my whole life.”

I said, “Dad, could you not even think to call me?”

“I could not think of the answers to any questions and I didn’t know what to do.”

So he went to the church building. In all of his confusion, he just put on his coat and tie, grabbed his glasses and his Bible and, in auto-pilot, he drove to the side of the building where he normally parks his car. There are six turns and about five stop lights between his house and the meeting place of the Jacksonville church of Christ. According to the surveillance camera later viewed, he entered the building at 10:24 A.M. and then proceeded to the auditorium. Still confused about why it was empty (apparently thinking it was time for one of the assemblies), he spent the next six hours, likely losing consciousness and falling, struggling to get up and becoming more and more desperate. Thankfully Homer Smith, one of the shepherds of the church, began to wonder about why his car was there and where he was. I was notified and I began asking everyone who might know about where he was until Homer, our new MVE (most valuable elder) found him and called the EMTs, who took him to the ER, where he was later admitted to the ICU.

He’s not out of the woods, but an enzyme count of 14,000–so very dangerously high–has dropped to 800. That’s impressive. He is completely coherent. That’s way better. His breathing is nothing but wheezing! That’s the part, for now, for which we need prayers. It’s really hard to watch and hear him breathe so laboriously.

But there is a blessing trail here. I can quickly enumerate ten of the many blessings about the whole episode:

Win or lose the battle for life on this earth, the battle for life—the real battle–has already been won.
There are ministers of the Father all around His people and they are extremely caring. They are servants with an attitude; the attitude of Matthew 25: 31-40.
Eighty-nine years of relatively good health is a great record. Just being in this hospital or even on this internet makes us aware of so many whose trials are so premature compared to any we might be experiencing. Dad is the only surviving child in a family of eleven children. He’s been very blessed.
When my dad “can’t think of any of the answers to any of the questions,” he goes to the place of worship. (That’s kind of like the Psalmist in Psalm 73.)
There are lots of colder, more desolate places to be unconscious than in the church building.
The proximity of excellent medical facilities in almost any region of our great country is a blessing we consistently count on.
The presence of skilled doctors, nurses, technicians and even smiling volunteers is a very good gift from the Giver of all good gifts.
Cousins, sons-in-law, husbands, fathers-in-law and brothers-in-law who are elders and preachers in the kingdom are double-kin and that’s special. I have about twenty-one of those and they are wonderful.
Dad, the “lost” sheep, was found by a shepherd.
“Clinically improved,” the term used to describe Dad today, is fun to hear and I love turning right.

Why Me?

Posted by Web Admin | Posted on 20-06-2011

Category : Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Tags: Attitude, Blessings, Thankfulness, The Church, Zeal

Yesterday, as is traditional in our worship assembly, we began with singing “The Lord is in His holy temple. Let all the earth keep silence before Him. I’m always jolted to the reality of the seriousness of what is about to happen…worship—obeisance toward the Almighty. It’s a time to be real and reverent before the One who knows the inner recesses of heart and soul.

Late on Saturday night, a few short hours before entering the place of worship, I had gotten a call from a weeping mother—someone who had gotten the bad news that her daughter was in serious sexual trouble. Police had been involved and this desperate mom was searching for answers about parenting, about locating the right medical and counseling personnel. Even in the midst of her parental nightmare, I could not help but think about how far this mom had come from being a homeless victim of sexual abuse as a young teen in a large northern city. Seven years ago her perspectives changed when someone knocked on her apartment door and shared the gospel with her. While it was too late for all her regrets to be “fixed” this side of eternity, still, she was now at least looking in the right direction for the answers to the hard questions and predicaments caused by sin.

Then we sang, “He leadeth me, oh blessed thought! Oh words with heavenly comfort fraught. Whate’er I do, where-e’er I be, still tis God’s hand that leadeth me.”

I looked to my left and saw one of my deaf friends, Jennifer, recently baptized, faithful and fruitful, putting enthusiasm into the worship she offered through her hands as she “sang” songs we couldn’t hear, but that surely reached the throne. I saw Troy, putting all he had into leading this deaf section of worshippers. Troy just meandered over to our building one day from the nearby apartments. He was seeking truth. He learned it quickly, was baptized into Jesus and became one of the best Bible students in the church, as well as one of our best deaf interpreters. Troy lost his mom in a tornado when he was thirteen. His father is an atheist. I praised God as I watched Troy signing:

Sometimes mid scenes of deepest gloom,? Sometimes where Eden’s bowers bloom,? By waters still, over troubled sea,? Still ’tis His hand that leadeth me.

I was happy, as I watched him, that God, through providence, had led Troy to a place in His life where he has a real family.

In front of me was a faithful family diligently working to raise their precious children for Him. I have personally been involved in some of their struggles. I have watched them cry in some pretty desperate times. But I watch them sing, now:

And when my task on earth is done, When by Thy grace the vict’ry’s won, E’en death’s cold wave I will not flee, Since God through Jordan leadeth me.

And, in my arms I held a baby…a sweet little curly-haired Hispanic baby girl, whose mom was visiting our services. This sweet young woman found her way to Huntsville, Alabama after some pretty devastating circumstances caused her to leave her mother country. She’s a hard worker, sending money back home to her ailing mother. She has been studying the Bible with me and I am praying she will soon become a part of God’s family. I sang about the old rugged cross, knowing it holds the only hope for the little girl who slept in my arms. I pray that her sweet mother will respond in faith to the cross where the dearest and best for a world of lost sinners was slain.

And after worship, I would get to study with Clare. Clare is visiting our services, too and she has a heart for Bible study. She, too, is seeking. She comes even when the person who initially invited her is out of town and our next study will be composed of questions she has compiled from the pretty massive amounts of Bible reading she is doing on her own. Yesterday she brought another family member to worship with her.

And I sang:

Come thou fount of every blessing. Tune my heart to sing thy praise. Streams of mercy never ceasing call for songs of loudest praise.

And as I praised the Fount, I thought, “Why me, Lord? Why was I born into a home where the gospel had already had its eternal impact on my parents? How was I so blessed to keep those parents through my childhood? Why am I the teacher instead of the seeker? I’ve never lost a loved one to a natural disaster or fled a country because of terror. Why me? Why am I blessed to be married to the one who gets up and proclaims the saving message? Who are these unbelievably tender people on the pew here with me, whose voices are so beautiful when they are blending together in praise? They are my children! Why me?”

And I sang “Teach me ever to adore Thee, May I still thy goodness prove. While the hope of endless glory fills my heart with joy and love.” My heart was full as I thought about the question: Why me?
I know I must go about proving His glory. With the realization of blessings in the extreme comes multiplied opportunities and my responsibilities gain new dimensions. I have to just look around me–in worship, in my neighborhood, and in my email—to realize the debt I owe. I must be filled with love for the lost. I must be willing to sacrifice time for those who struggle. I must share my remarkable hope of endless glory. Therein lies the answer, at least in part, to the question, “Why me?”

Mary and Martha: Lessons for your Busy Day, Part 3

Posted by Web Admin | Posted on 31-03-2011

Category : Bless Your Heart by Cindy Colley

Tags: Attitude, Bible Study, Women

A Lesson about Persecution

From the day of Lazarus’ resurrection, the chief priests and Pharisees sought to kill Jesus (John 11:53). They could not but admit that He was performing miracles (vs.47). They could no longer make a reasonable case against His divinity. So they decided just to get rid of him…destroy the evidence. It’s funny how they had just seen Jesus concretely exhibit power over the grave and yet they thought they could contain Him in one!

The most amazing part of their reasoning, though is found in the next chapter: “But the chief priests consulted that they might put Lazarus also to death; Because that by reason of him many of the Jews went away, and believed on Jesus” (John 12:10-11).

Lazarus had become a spectacle to curious Jews. People were coming from miles around to see this Lazarus… to touch flesh that had spent four days in the cold tomb… to ask Lazarus about the other side. Understandable. But the Pharisees, upon seeing the numbers of believers ever multiplying, felt threatened. This walking, talking dead man was drawing people to Christ. What if these Christ followers were to raise an insurrection and attempt to overthrow the Jewish government? They were certain such an insurrection, should it occur, would draw the wrath of the Romans, and what little control the Jewish leaders retained would be quickly stripped by the powerful Roman Empire. So the desperate, power hungry priests and Pharisees sought the life of Lazarus. Amazing, isn’t it, how they thought the grave could hold him this time if they could just get him in it one more time?!

Now think about it. Lazarus had already experienced the bliss of the bosom of Abraham for four days. Do you think he could remember those four days? Assuming he could, do you really think he preferred the life of a hunted man here on earth to that indescribable happiness on the other side? Not a chance. Would he have thought it a great tragedy to go back to bliss? Hardly. But Mary and Martha, remember, were still living with our perspective…that powerful survival instinct that God gives us. They wanted to protect Lazarus and each other from the jealous enemies of Christ who would stop at nothing to silence Him. They faced real persecution.

“Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution” (2 Tim 3:12).

Do you suffer any sort of persecution because you are His? If not, are you sure you are His? It is unfathomable to me that a person living in America today could boldly stand for principles of truth and righteousness for a lifetime and never face the modern American persecution of ridicule. Has anyone ever told you that you are intolerant? If not, are you silently tolerating sin? Has anyone ever called you a religious fanatic or a moral extremist? If not, are you faithful to every service of the local congregation and do you dress modestly, use pure speech, and abstain from worldly forms of entertainment? See, people who are serious about Christianity today will frequently find themselves in situations where doing the right thing means drawing ridicule and criticism from the society in which we live. I know teens who suffer exclusion on a weekly basis because they refuse to see the dirty and profane movies that even their “Christian” friends are seeing. These courageous teens are suffering persecution. Persecution, many times is the telling difference between those who say they are Christians and those who are Christians. Mary and Martha’s bond with Christ became even closer after Lazarus’ resurrection. They were suffering with him so that one day they could be glorified with him (Romans 8:17). I believe the impending death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus –the gospel, became a very real cause to these sisters as they undoubtedly tried to protect their brother from those who were bent on sealing Jesus permanently in a tomb. I believe this persecution was a factor in leading Mary to the point of anointing Jesus for His burial. Perhaps the aroma of the precious ointment was the same fragrance she had smelled only days earlier when she anointed Lazarus for his burial. One thing is for sure. She had a stronger faith at the death of Jesus than at the death of Lazarus and it was a faith that demanded suffering.

Suffering is a token of salvation given from God in behalf of Christ (Phil.1:28,29). I have some tokens that are precious symbols: a lock of hair representing the babyhood of my daughter, Hannah, a golden band representing the sacredness of my marriage, a diploma representing my graduation. Suffering is the tangible token of salvation. I tell those young people who suffer exclusion, ridicule, and loneliness for the morality of Christianity that this is the token you can now hold that shows you are Christ’s. Jesus says it best in Luke 6:22 and 23. He specifically mentions those who would suffer reproach and exclusion. Then he says, “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy!” Leap for joy! Mary and Martha, two thousand years hence in a place of bliss, do not think it strange that Jesus said “leap for joy”. They have seen the “great reward” .

Processing Problems: from Panic to Peace

Correspondence with a Broken Heart

Blueberries and the Book (The Exciting Conclusion!)

Right Turn

Why Me?

Mary and Martha: Lessons for your Busy Day, Part 3

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Processing Problems: from Panic to Peace

Correspondence with a Broken Heart

Blueberries and the Book (The Exciting Conclusion!)

Right Turn

Why Me?

Mary and Martha: Lessons for your Busy Day, Part 3

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