If there are no drips in the bottom of your oven…
If there’s no worn spot on the carpet or floor in front of your front door…
If you hardly ever run low on stamps…
If you have bedrooms that you never use…
If your dining room table stays perfectly set…
If your television is always on…
If your kitchen doesn’t need sweeping…
If your laundry hamper is never full…
If your pantry never gets a little low…
If your kids never ask “Who is that for?” when you are baking a cake…
If your car never goes toward the church lot, when you meant to go to the grocery store…
If you’ve never been in the church building alone…
If you wonder where the resource room is…
If you recognize less than half the names in the bulletin…
If you’ve been attending there for more than three years and the elders still sometimes ask you to sign the visitor book…
If you’ve never washed a baptismal robe…
If you always know right where you left your Bible…
If you’ve never shared a holiday meal with anybody to whom you were not related (in- the- flesh related)
If you have teenagers and you don’t have a crowd at your house at least once a week…
If you don’t keep a big stash of wrapping paper and ribbon…
If you’ve never accidentally left the stove eye on during Sunday worship…
If you are addicted to a daytime soap opera…
If you ever wonder what goes on at a retreat…
If you can sit longer on a bleacher than on a pew…
